pregnant we have two children but third is not mine happened when we separated,i feel trapped by guilt for wanting to leave, but cannot for fear of hurting my kids again am i wrong? we have no intimacy between me and wife,i need more am i being selfish?
2006-07-07 03:58:24 · 9 answers · asked by viking_chef53 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
everybody say's that im a good man for doin it but im getting lonely
2006-07-07 04:05:41 · update #1
and when we separated first time i cheated on her
2006-07-07 04:06:38 · update #2
I agree with the first one. You not showing your kids, how a good relationship goes. But you don't won't to kick her out, while she is pregnant and homeless too. But the kids need their mother, and also you need your freedom as well.
Wait till she had the baby, give it a few months. Thats if you can wait that long. Then have her to leave, and take care of her own self. She can get a job and someone to watch over her child.
The kids might be confuse and hurt that their mom not there. But let them know, they can see her when they want too. That not being together, don't mean they can't see her.
Then you have the space and the room to breath. Then you can go and do what you want. Or find that someone else to see. You are not selfish. There are many men, who wouldn't keep her after being pregnant by another man. Just try not to fight, or start a war with her. Just bite your tongue and bear it.
Till everything is all said and done.
2006-07-07 04:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This kinda thing happens when there is a personality disorder present. Most of the times, it is not seen. Why did she come back to you? She has options. I don't know her at all to claim what disorder she has but I can tell this so far, you both have a level of codependency. She's back. Fine. She needs to leave. The person(s) you need to focus on is yourself and your kids.
As someone said here, she needs to hit rock bottom ... maybe you do too.
BTW, protect your kids. That's a must. I, too, have two kids and am going through a divorce that my therapist diagnosed her with a personality disorder including codependency. I shudder at the idea that she will come back into my life. According to the experts, it is very likely to happen.
Good luck you you.
2006-07-07 04:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You most definitely have to move! Don't forget your kids when you do. Taking care of this woman is not your job, taking care of the kids is your only job. Go to family court and set up child support and get on with your life. Always be a good dad, that means seeing them often and supporting them.
2006-07-07 04:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT??? of direction, you do not choose his settlement to break up. many of the time one in a pair initiates a divorce. It does not count the place you get carry of married, it concerns the place you reside. In some states you document and additionally you're divorced in 30 days. call your interior of sight legal society and ask the place you may get some guidance or hire an legal expert.
2016-12-08 16:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same for a while. My Ex-husband and me, we were seperat but we lived together for 7 month, because of our child. Then we decided to divorce and he moved out. Our child is with me.
It is wrong to lie your children. They should know, what happend. What will they think, if the baby is there, you are not the father. What will they think about their mother?! You shouldn't live together, but be friends and be there for your kids. If you are lucky, then you can make your childeren lucky and happy too.
2006-07-07 04:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
selfish about what? you guys are just roomates now right? you are helping her out with a place to stay. so actually you are generous to her and taking responsibility for your kids and her unborn kid. thats cool. your a good man.
2006-07-07 04:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
staying just for the kids isn't good either all you are showing them is how to be in a loveless relationship which is not what you want them to learn, you both need to move on
2006-07-07 04:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the kids make her leave. sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they see the light.
2006-07-07 04:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
support your kids but if you are no longer together then she should support herself and her other child you are not responsible for that but you are a good man for doing that so far
2006-07-07 04:12:59 · answer #9 · answered by sareyna85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋