My 4 year old step daughter will not sleep in her room. She keeps us up till 4 a.m every night. Please help me

Question

What can I do to make this stop. I can't stay awake at work because she keeps us up so late. My husband takes her to her room everytime she gets up. She has a nightlight, so it's not the dark. If we let her sleep with us she keeps us up all night, whinning and moving around. It's starting to cause a problem in my husband and my relationship. What can we do, I can't keep doing this with her? Please help me.

Answer 1

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Climbing in and out of bed is a common practice among toddlers and young children. While some children may spend part of the night in their own bed (only to join mom and dad in their room in the middle of the night) other children get out of bed repeatedly before falling asleep. If you're tired of tucking Junior into bed only to find him rambling about the house fifteen minutes later, then you're not alone. Here are some tips to help you get your child to stay in bed all night.

-- Establish a routine. Even young babies can get into the groove if you establish a set routine. Let your child know it is bedtime by following the same rituals every night. This routine can include a bath, a snack or drink, tooth brushing, a bedtime story and prayers.Afterwards, tuck your child into bed and turn the lights off. Let your child know where you'll be so he or she can feel safe and secure.

--Return the child to his or her bed immediately. If your child does climb out of bed, it is important that you escort him or her back to bed right away-- no matter how tired you are! Sure, it's easier to just let the child come in and curl up in your bed with you, but it will likely become a habit that is very hard to break. It's better to be consistent and put the child back into his or her own bed each and every time. It may be necessary to sit on the floor with your head down so the child knows you are there. Being tired and listening to a crying child can frustrate you. Stay focused on the goal and try to never act in anger or show your irritation. It isn't easy, but this isn't a battle. It's how things are going to be from now on. The child just needs time to accept the idea. No exceptions.

--Don't weaken to crying or whining. If you do, your child wins. Tell your child you are not going to keep coming in for kisses, hugs, discussion, begging, or pleading. Stick to this. If your child leaves the room, simply re-direct the child back without discussion. Show no weakness, or your child will know that this behavior results in a change.

Following these guidelines, your child will accept the change. You may consider the fact that for a week, you will not get much sleep (which you aren't getting anyways). But this is a small price to pay if, afterwards, your nights will be restfull. Persistence and consistency will prevail.

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Answer 2

I went through the same thing when my oldest was 2 years old. How do you put her to bed? What time? Does she take a nap during the day? What time? She may not be tired enough. If she naps, make sure her last nap is at least 5-6 hours before bedtime. She should have alittle something in her belly too. Maybe a snack 30 mins before bed. Tire her out during the day. Fresh air and lots of running around usually does the trick. I have 4 kids, I feel 4 you. Try reading a story? Hope I helped!

Answer 3

I think it's a tough one to answer because there is not enough information. We don't know if she is crying. or if she is just getting up because shes not sleepy and it's borring in her room.

If you know its not medical, for instance she doesn't have an earache that is keeping her up nights or a tummy ache. And its just the not sleepy thing.

Get the baby up early early early in the morning and start working her out. helping around the house. doing tumbles, If she naps in the afternoon make it short. and avoid a legthy nap time.

Give her something in her room so that when she does get up at night she doesn't have to come to you. "no TV" a cassete player for kids with cinderella stories or lulabys that she can control herself. Books lots and lots of books. Perhaps instead of a nightlight, try a lamp that reflects colour and images onto the ceiling, she might watch them go round and doze off on her own.

My daughter won't go to sleep until I give her something to dream about. She's 9 now. Read to her before bedtime and give her something to dream about before you leave the room, If she likes the story you could incorperate her , you and your husband into the dream, if she lays down and thinks about her dream with all of you together she might not need to be in the same room with you.

Most of all you and your husband have to create a barrier in your bedroom and lock arms. And never in a moment of weakness let her break the barrier. The minute she comes to your room someone takes her back to hers. with a few more dream land ideas and some cuddles.

Answer 4

Have you tried laying down with her in her room and reading a story until she falls asleep? You can definately never let her sleep in the room with you guys, not even once or she will think that it is ok and keep bugging you about it, if it is a rule that she sleeps in her room with no exceptions! It will get better, and make sure that at least at first there is a reward of some kind for her staying in her room the night. I know it is tough I have a 5 year old! Good Luck!

Answer 5

My daughter did the same thing because she was scared of the dark and so on. We called the doctor and he said that it was bad for my daughter to sleep in my bed because she will think that she will always need me and my husband to get through her promblems. Also she will become more scared. So this is what i did. I told my daughter that you can come in our bed 1 a week. Only if she realy has too. Every month i would increase the times like the next month. You can come every 2 weeks. She would cry and whine at first but know she sleeps in her own bed. Also you could put a sleeping bag in your room so when she does come to your romm she sleeps there.

=) good luck

Answer 6

At the age of 4, the child is absolutely sure that he/she is smarter than you are and tries to get away with murder.

When you take a decision about the child, write it down and don't change your mind. They need structure and they'll thank you for that later on.

Look at the child in the eyes and say, mommy can not sleep in the same room with you anymore. And never sleep in the same room with her. Make sure that your husband follow the same rule, because your daugter will try to use any dispute to get her way.

Don't let her know that her crying bothers you.

But don't worry, most kids are that way, they take what you give to them.

Answer 7

Why is she so reluctant to sleep in her room? Is she scared? Or maybe jealous of you and her dad? I think you need to be firm, and never let her sleep in your bed. You gave in once and now she wants it all the time. Don't back down. If she's scared then start a bedtime routine. Bath, brush teeth, book, lights out. Maybe even take a water bottle and put a "Monster B Gone" label on it and spray it around the room to make her feel better. But never let her sleep with you guys! If she won't sleep by herself then one of you should go lay down with her in her room until she goes to sleep. But don't coddle her, it will only make her behavior worse. She has to understand that it is not appropriate to be up until 4 AM keeping you guys awake too.

Answer 8

If you truly love your husband, and I assume you love your stepdaughter as well, this is going to take A LOT patience on your part. The little girl is 4. If your husband did like I did when my marriage fell apart I allowed my youngest to sleep with me (she was 4 then now she's 7) It is a hard habbit to break. She's probably still very insecure. Once she feels secure that you love her too, and aren't trying to steal her Daddys' love. It won't be as big of an issue to sleep in your bed. Also, try making it a HUGE deal when she does sleep in her own bed. Like you all go out for her fav dinner or something.
It gets easier, but it takes awhile.

Answer 9

You're going to have to re-train her. It won't be easy, but once she is re-trained, your life will be much easier.
First of all, what time does she wake up? If she goes to bed at 4am you probably let her sleep into the morning. Stop. Wake her up at 7am every morning. After lunch, let her have an hour's nap, this will in fact make her more restful.
If possible an hour or so before her bedtime, spend time with her in her room. Tuck her in bed and read to her, chat to her. Then explain to her this is her room and she's a big girl and tell her you're going but you will be back to see her. At regular intervals look in on her, sit by her bed, hold her hands, stroke her forehead, make her know you are there with her. If she comes to your room, no matter how many times, you must return her to her room. Don't shout at her, don't get angry with her, tell her gently but firmly her place is in her room.
This is not an overnight miracle solution. It will take time, but she needs to be re-trained because she has fallen into a very bad habit.

Answer 10

If she is taking naps during the day eliminate those so she is so tired she HAS to sleep. She is old enough to be reasoned with. Make a set bedtime every night and put her to bed, read a story etc.. If she gets up just tell her good night and put her back to bed over and over without any drama. Don't let her know it bugs you because that might be why she is doing it!