i am 24yrd and i have a 8yrd daughter. I'm married but very unhappy, i have no social life at all.?

Question

my husband is the same age as me, he is very boring, we hardly talk. I love him but i dont know if i want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no friends so i'm frightened to go. I was bullied in school so i have no confidence.

Answer 1

this is classroom textbook situation in family pyschology about a girl or child having children at a young age and what happens when they get older. I know thats not what you want to hear so Ill answer you from experiences Ive encountered. If you are truly unhappy with him then its time to get out. There is nothing to gain by making two mistakes, especially staying in a relationship that probably never would have happened later in life. Now life will NOT be easy out there as a single mom but you might be happier and who knows you might even meet a nice guy willing to accept an already made family. They are out there so just be patient. But you will still have to make concessions, giving up alot for your child, but staying where you are can only create problems, especially if both are unhappy(he probably is too) and the stakes are too high for this to work out in your favor. You will just have to accept your situation and believe in yourself and that there is a better life out there for you and your child and go get it. There is alot of social help out there if you want/need it but the youve already taken the first step in asking this question, so now cut your losses and move on Good luck and God Bless

Answer 2

I don't think you really love your husband otherwise you would not be questioning whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with him. I know it is hard to break free and that it is easier to stay with what you know - most of us resist change. Why don't you see either a counsellor or a marriage guidance counsellor on your own to discover your true feelings? But, if you are so unhappy do something now to change that, don't do what I did and go through years and years of an unhappy marriage. I finally found the courage to break free, spent about 7 years on my own and now I have been married again for 13 months (met on the internet) to my true soulmate and I am very happy. Life is to short to spend it just existing. you deserve to have some fun and happiness in your life. Think positive and go for it! Or you could try talking to your husband about his feelings and tell him yours. If this is difficult, why not put it down in writing and leave it where he can find it? Good luck and very best wishes.

Answer 3

Perhaps you should see your doctor to see if you're suffering from depression.
Or perhaps you could join a gym locally which will help you meet new people, or chat to the other mums you come into contact with at the school. Sounds like you need to become more self confident though so perhaps doing a course at a local college which could get you into work and thus into a social group may be helpful.
Hopefully once your sorted your hubby might be interested in making some changes to his lifesyle too and then he won't be as boring!

Answer 4

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Answer 5

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Answer 6

You got pregnant at 15 and been together since sixteen no wonder why you feel this way you missed out on all the fun years.

You should not have kids till late twenties...


Now stuck with one and thats the problem... you cant act like those in tenties or teenagers... you and hubbie need to make out in a cart and cinema and have fun without the kid.


A suggestion if in London Uk is the whirl-y-gig

http://www.whirl-y-gig.org.uk/

a rave/nightclub event thats open to all ages including kids but like a club without the alcohol. lots of kids there.

But not like a church do.

Assertioveness classes and pole dance lessons and self defence lessons will help the confidence... take the 8 year old to self defence will help you both.


The guy has had the fun knocked out of him too as missed out without the lads...

Its the marriage and kid thats the problem hence marriage not being all that great.


Get into things like windsurfing (cheap), surfing if near a suitable beach... Again cheap...You need to be fun

or you two will divorce and kid suffer.

Answer 7

This helped me- Your daughter is 8 so she should be playing soft ball or taking dance lessons or something. If she isn't get her into something! It will be a great chance for you to meet new people, there will be other parents there with children the same age as yours so you can all ways start a conversation about the kids if you are shy. Also it gives you and your husband something to do together when you have to go to her games or recital's. You can get involved being the mom that brings snacks or plans a special party. Please try it, it can save your sanity and your marriage!

Answer 8

You love him, right. You have a child, right. Look at what you have, you have alot of power. They love you, but you want change. Before you make up your mind, tell him. Don't keep it secret, you should tell him what you think and how you feel. You also can make friends, don't be afraid to try. Just talk to people, you should find a friend then. If you can't get out enough then go to myspace or other things on-line. You need a social life. Try all you can before you make a final decision on leaving. If you want to talk more, send me a message on yahoo or myspace. I am soulwalker88 on yahoo and skywardman@AOL on aol and myspace.

Answer 9

You haven't really stated, in clear terms, what you want. Do you want to have another husband or just a friend to chat with. If it's the latter, I think I can be of help, somehow. So, let's be friends and start sharing ideas and experiences. That will lift you up, somehow, and you'll soon realize that life is worth living and enjoying to the fullest.

Answer 10

I think it is called communication---talk to your husband--I have been married for 20 yrs and communication is key.....talk to your husband about what you are feeling and talk it out......Then both of you start going to church somewhere and find a few friends that you can hang with...... You are probably thinking- how boring---but give it a try---get to know people your own age and soon you will realize that they are going thru or have gone thru the same thing....Good Luck

Answer 11

"He is very boring, we hardly talk"

That's the key right there. You two gotta talk. Get time alone, just you and him, and talk. Go somewhere different, and talk. Eye to eye. Heart to heart. Don't look anywhere else: you both promised to stay faithful to each other for better and for worse. He is probably not anymore boring than you are, but you've drifted from each other. Talk.