should i let my parents adopt my baby or put the baby's father on child support?

Question

My father gets a social security check every month. If he adopts my baby, my baby will be getting a check around 950.00 monthly. If i put my baby father on child support, i am not garaunteed a full 500.00. My parents want to adopt because of the financial help for my child. My baby's father does not want to be active in her life and does not care about being on child support. Give me your advice.

Answer 1

Take you father's offer of help for your baby. I know it will be hard for all of you but there are so many girls out there that do not have this kind of support. Take it and appreciate it. Never forget that you are also still responsible for this child.
You will not be able to count on help from the baby's father and he can always skip out on cs. Your dad obviously loves you - let him help.

Answer 2

It's cruel to lie and the people who will suffer are your child and your ex. You wouldn't like it if you were lied to so don't be so selfish. A closed adoption isn't any guarantee that you wont be found. In fact I never thought I would see the day that I would say this but your child deserves better than you, has the moral right to know his or her father and your ex has the right to be a father. My answer is still the same. You don't get your baby adopted to get back at the father and you will suffer far more than you realize probably more than him. Making a decision out of anger is bad. Anyway you need him to agree to the adoption otherwise it wont go through as he has to sign away his rights. You need to be adult about this and either raise your child or let him.

Answer 3

First off, how old are you and why is having this child all about the money??? I am a single mother, who might I add, doesn't see a lick of child support and has been doing it on her own since he was about 3 months old. I work really hard to give him everything he has, without anyone's help. But since it concerns you so much, don't put your child off on your parents, make the father pay child support. The state enforces that kind of thing. And as for you, you should get a job or have some other income coming in to take care of this child. Might I ask, why did you get pregnant when you don't really care if you keep your child or not?? There are so many other people in this world that cant have children and not to be mean or anything, but people like you pop them out left and right and don't even care. A child is a blessing not a paycheck. Sorry if this is rude but maybe you need a swift kick in the butt like this to realize this.

Answer 4

If you let your parents adopt then you're giving up any and all rights to your child. This means they COULD keep you from seeing the baby- you might not think that would happen now but people do unexpected things all the time. There are plenty of single mothers in this world that DON'T get 950 a month or even 500 a month to help support their child. It isn't about the money it's about being a good mother and doing the right thing- why set your child up to feel like a big dollar sign? Go after child support and check with your state because some states offer a program where they WILL send you your 500 a month every month and then he will owe the state. Also, the courts nowadays don't like to allow grandparents to adopt so much because of the age factor and the way it could affect the child when they get older and realize what happened. The best you could do is try to sign temporary guardianship over to them and he might still be able to get SOME social security on the child, but that could go against you too because they could sue YOU for child support also. I suggest just being a mom and doing what you can to support your child WITHOUT trying to get the biggest bang for your buck.

Also, adoption is PERMANENT you can NEVER get that child back from your parents- but if you alone sign the papers to waive your parental rights the father can go to court and say he wants her and if the DNA test comes back positive your parents would HAVE to give him the child and he could then go after YOU for child support WITHOUT visitation because you signed over your rights to all of that. Making the father of your child pay child support is NOT selfish and it is NOT revenge- you've been handed a lifelong job and you didn't do it alone. He'll care about a child support order when they put him in jail for nonpayment and that will be nobody's fault but his.

Answer 5

If your parents adopt your baby, then they legally will be the parents.

You are the parent. And so is he. If money is more important to you, than what your child will think of you in the future...
well then I have nothing nice to say at all. Parents should be parents, grandparents should be grandparents.

And btw - when you do sue him for child support, most states have it where it's a straight amount, whether or not he feels like working. Also, they'll make him responsible for getting health insurance coverage for the child, and you can request that he pay at least 1/2 the medical costs that the insurance co doesn't pay (copays, tylenol, etc).

And if you're solely caring about money and not caring about being a mother - you will quality for EIC (Earned Income Credit) on your tax return - which will increase your refund on an average of $3000

Answer 6

I would say let your parents adopt it, but then it won't be your child. When you grow up, you will want your baby . How are you going to explain all that to your baby when she grows up? Your r going to say " You father doesn't care about you" ? That's really harsh! Even if the father doesn't want any relationship with the child, it's not right to say things like that to her. I would propose put him on father support and tell your father to support u a bit financially. The child will understand by itself some things when it can. In my pinion, that's the right. What is gonna happen if later, when you 30 and you want to have your child and you can't collect her report from school? What is she gonna say to her friends later?

Answer 7

I do not envy you, these decisions are difficult to make. Take a step back and look at the whole picture... The father should be responsible for his actions. It is great to have financial security, however you can't depend on Social Security to provide for the baby. Welfare is a joke, they won't be of much help. I suggest getting daddy to step up and if need be give your Dad Guardianship so you can get on your feet and be a good mom and a productive member of society. This way you don't loose your baby and the father is held responsible for his actions. Your Dad should be able to get Social Security for your baby as long as the child remains in his care. Remember money isn't everything, and your baby will grow to understand life's strange situations.

Answer 8

The father might try to come back into the child's life later on... you can never tell. If your parents adopt the child, then the child's father might try to take the child and claim that you have abandoned her. Be careful and make sure he really doesn't want to be in her life. X's have a way of doing things even if it's just to make your life harder.

Answer 9

If you cannot earn enough to feed children, why did you have them? It's nothing but selfish to keep a baby when someone (especially a close relative) wants to adopt and give the child a proper upbringing. And why in the world are you worrying more about a few hundred dollars payment each month when you should be worrying about the baby's upbringing? Your priorities are in the wrong place!

Sorry to hear your one night stand walked out on you. I do hope you (or whoever adopts the baby) drags him to court for child support!

Answer 10

Do what is best for the child.Let your parents adopt it. The only reason for making the father pay is just for revenge. That does no good for the child. Put your childs interests first. Let it be raised in a two parent home that is stable.