Military life doesn't come with a set of instructions, or as the army would put it - one SOP. To support my husband in his job, I simply leave him the hell alone to do it. I don't ask questions and I'm content with uncertainty. Unless deployments are of concern, I don't attend meetings for spouses and dependents. I don't attend because I'm too busy with my own life...I work and I'm still in college. Thankfully, I don't have any children. I don't understand how my attendance to these meetings and/or participation in an organized fundraiser will make my hubby's job any better or easier. The meetings and events have purposes of their own and I'm supportive of these aspects. However, I feel that I am "looked down upon" by others because I'm not more involved.
2006-07-07 03:10:35 · 8 answers · asked by Grace777 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I feel better about myself when I'm tending to my own business. Again, I make an effort to attend important meetings, such as those involving deployments.
2006-07-07 03:16:24 · update #1
In response to Nikigal...
I DONT need the companionship of other women. I guess that's why I'm in this situation...I'm not codependent and I can tolerate being alone. Honestly, I've learned to rely on God when I'm feeling alone. One thing I've noticed is that many spouses don't tolerate solitude very well. Why these women marry soldiers seems illogical to me.
2006-07-07 03:54:55 · update #2
I don't understand why it is expected that you have to be an apendage to your husband's career... If your husband was a doctor or a truck driver or a roving journalist, you wouldn't be expected to attend support meetings for them...
It's also probably part of the human pack mentality -- huddle together when you are faced with stressful situations. You handle stress differently than the others.
If other people look down on you because you choose not to join their social activities, then it says more about their insecurities than it does about you. If your husband is cool with it and is supported by you emotionally in your own way, and you are content with making your own life, then do nothing to change your way of being.
2006-07-07 03:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lynne D 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My wife had the same issues when I was in. The military wives form a support organization that often is called on to save the day when the husbands are gone. Adding your skills to this effort is completely optional, but those who benefit from it are grateful and if you ever need help, you have a group to fall back on. Often, children are the real beneficiaries. With just one parent available, it is often hard to play sports or participate in extra-curriculars. Having a support organization to work out car-pools and share expenses can reduce some of that hardship.
You have a full life and no children, so don't worry about it, but if you are looking to get involved in the community somehow, supporting military families is worth the effort.
2006-07-07 10:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you not supposed to ask questions? Is your husband in such a sensitive position? You should go to the meetings; how do you know you won't find them useful, if you don't go? And you need the companionship of the other wives, so go and make a few friends. Maybe a few of them are scared, too. Because it sounds to me you've got your head in the sand and you just don't want to know. And maybe the other wives need YOU. Maybe your husband needs you to be involved. Maybe he'll feel as though your give a damn if you're involved.
Being independant instead of wife putting husband first is fine, but remember that you are part of a society, and unless you participate, you will find yourself in a very lonely place. Alone.
Get involved.
2006-07-07 10:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by ninusharra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does your husband feel about you attending these functions and meetings? If it's important to him, do it. Otherwise, follow your own inclination. Your marriage is YOUR marriage, whether your husband is in the military or not. Trying to satisfy other people's expectations of how you handle things is a sure recipe for disaster. The two of you must be the final decision makers about things that affect your relationship.
2006-07-07 10:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a military man you husband is part of a group and as his wife people well want to see you as part of that group also .this is something you well have to live with and get over or change you life style to fit every ones needs and wants for what they think is best for you as part of there group .the ans.to this question is in your heart .be true to yourself then you can do for others
2006-07-07 10:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by henryredwons 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of the best things to be an effective military wife is to not sleep with other military men. Too much of that stuff going around.
2006-07-07 10:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by dedbroke007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its no different than if your husband had a corporate job
you would attend functions etc.
make an effort...... attend some... at least try it
even one would be a start
think if it were the other way around.... and you had the job related functions????
2006-07-07 10:17:13 · answer #7 · answered by swddrb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join in to some of the community meetings and sign up yourself, we all know your husband could use the helping hand ;)
2006-07-07 10:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋