What do you think of a girl like this, and why do some girls let themselves get to this point?

Question

I know a girl, she's family. She's only 19, has 3 kids from different dads, has had 6 miscarriges and now wants to have her tubes tied.

She also doesnt' like her children, and her mom was a crack head

Answer 1

I think that that's very sad. Somewhere along the line, she learned that it was ok to sleep with someone she doesn't love and not be careful about protecting herself. The saddest part, though, is that she's considering losing the chance to ever have a child with someone she might marry and love.

Answer 2

A girl like that probably has low self esteem due to a past that she most likely did not have any control over. It's sad but she has probably looked to guys and sex to make herself feel better and in the long run has had a lot of bad luck due to making bad choices (unprotected sex and such) and only being 19 this decision might not be the smartest but she seems to already have her hands full. She's so young and if she keeps going at this rate her poor body will be so worn out. I think if anything she is trying to make the right choice this time, to hopefully be able to provide for the children she already has. I just hope that she will take a step back and look at herself and her life when she has this operation and realize that this won't fix everything. She needs help in other areas as well. Those kids need a role modle, not a mother who is bed hopping. Someone should sit down and talk to her, not criticize her, be positive for her and help her see the light on the other side ya know? :)

Ok and as for not liking her children...that is probably because she sees what her friends are out there doing. Parties, shopping, what have you. So I can see that. But with all this said this problem seems far to deep to try and fix without professional help. Maybe a little time away perhaps to somewhere that can help her will make her also realize how much her children mean to her and are a part of her everyday life. She's only 19, she just needs to be woken up and shown the real world!

Answer 3

That is really sad. I feel terrible for the children and what kind of environment they are growing up in.

By wanting her tubes tied makes me wonder if she is seeing the way things are and wants to change them but on the other hand I would wonder if she just wants to keep having sex without any consequences.

As a previous poster stated she is a product from her mother that was not a good role model but on one hand seeing and growing up in that type of environment would make me want a better life style not the same or similar.

I feel bad and hope things work out. The way society and the world is these days kids do not seem to be taught the right things and are having not so good role models to go off anymore.

Answer 4

Well, if she's now wants her tubes tied, I think that's a step in the right direction. Sounds like she's starting to make better decisions. Unfortunately, this won't protect her from STDs.

Sounds like she has looooowwwwwwwww self-esteem and is searching for value outside of herself. Of course that never works. As family, perhaps you are in a position to help this lost girl. I believe education is the solution to most every problem, this one included. She obviously has not had time for a lot of schooling; instead of judging her; help her acquire an education so she can support her big family. Working toward a goal will provide her a purpose other than brood mare. And being self-reliant will give her pride in herself.

Answer 5

Her upbringing didn't help matters, but shouldn't she also be responsible for herself???
Has she heard of birth control, or how to keep her legs together? Well, at least now she can have her tubes tied and continue to be a slut without the inconveince of getting knocked up.
Suggest she give up the other kids, too, to someone who CAN teach them not to to the things she's done..
Where was the rest of this girl's family? Shouldn't you have taken some action before this??? Sounds like you just realized this is a problem..

Answer 6

It is not only her fault but the sad thing is her children are going to be the ones to suffer. She probably needs to get her tubes tide but the sad thing is that in 8 years when she has pulled her head out of her butt she may want children and by that time it may be too late. I know that now in certain states as of like last year you had to be 21 to get your tubes tied. Good Luck to those kids...........

Answer 7

Think of it this way. If your saying that her mom is a crackhead don't you think that maybe that's why she is like that because of how she was raised.I taking parenting very serious I am 18 have 2 kids and pregnant, I think maybe even though it is none of your busy as she might tell you, you take actions for her. Get her some help or as a matter of fact teach her a lesson. Report her not to be an a**hole but for the sake of those kids. You know I know people like that because I come from a real ghetto neighborhood but kids are kids it's not their fault!!

Answer 8

It sounds like she grew up in a dysfunctional home. Girls like that usually turn out that way when they haven't had a very good example to follow or didn't have a father in the picture.
Obviously, she started having sex at a very young age. Perhaps she was molested or just neglected and is looking for some kind of attention. They start out naive and then when they're old enough to know better, they become irresponsible.

Answer 9

well sounds like she is irresponsible and needs to realize what she is doing. Getting her tubes tied is probably not a bad idea since she does have 3 kids already. Its hard to say what to think about her cuz this is a vague question and every person in situations like this are different.

Answer 10

It all traces back to the parents or whomever was the guiding influence in her life as she was growing up. Sounds like she has feelings of loss with her father figure and through men is trying to summon up attention/love she didn't receive as a child. She may be lonely thinking that children will replace her feelings of aloneness and she may simply not be educated in the importance of planning a pregnancy and the life thereafter.

Answer 11

She is just looking for love in the wrong places. She just wants some attention from whomever will show it and unfortunately in exchange for sex. She did not have anyone to guide her along the way and teach her how to love herself. If you can help her to get some professional help then that would be great. You and the rest of your family don't judge her but help and support her so she can get out of the rut and make sure the cycle is not repeated.