Have been with my boyfriend for 1 year, who is 7 years older and has been divorced twice. Both his exwives are nut cases and he carries much baggage. He and his 6 year old son live with me. His other 2 children are not allowed to see him. He was making good money but lost his job. He is a very big procrastinator who is very much in debt only making $10 an hour all his money goes to his truck and child support. I pay for my house and all the bills to include his son. He say's he loves me but I can't help but think he's using me because without me he wouldn't be able to keep his son or pay his truck payment. When I tell him how I feel he gets mad. How do I really know he loves me other than him telling me. He does make me feel good. He has a history of cheating and likes to flirt. which is hard for me because my last husband cheated. Should I give him more time? His ex's cause a lot of problems, so much baggage. Is it worth it? Please help.
2006-07-07 02:14:19 · 16 answers · asked by Leah Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you feel the need to ask......then I'm afraid in your heart you already know the answer
2006-07-07 02:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by Maimee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you probably love him, but its not worth it. I left my ex that I had a son with b/c he cheated on me and got with another guy that sounds just like your man now. I paid the whole time and he contributed nothing but is love. Sometimes love is what you need and sometimes you could do so much better and have everything you want. You shouldnt limit yourself to that. If you love him stay but if there is a doubt in your mind then go on. Trust me in the long run if you do descide to move on you will be so much happier. And to me being you do all this for his son you sound like a wonderful person b/c most people wouldnt do that. Think of it this way honey would a guy do ALL of this for you???
2006-07-07 03:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Leah, you can ask everyone you want but you know that the right answer is only in your heart. I don't know your age, but i think it's over 30. i think you need to get out in a holyday alone, to clear your mind and try to find the answer.
you say he makes you feel good. does he make you feel good more often than he gets mad our cheats you? and yes, does he cheat you?
the past can be very troubling sometimes. if you really care about him, you will stay with him no matter what the others say.
you must find if you enjoy this situation: take care of you, him and his son. what if you will have a son of his own? what then?
anyway, i think you will get the right decision. good luck
2006-07-07 02:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by ancutzelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of him my ex had been married several times and his exes were all nutcases or so i thought until i married him. i think u should tell him u want to continue seeing each other but he has to find his own place. that will let you know if he really wants to be with u. He should be man enough to make it on his own and if not then you dont need him anyway. Has he cheated on you or just on others in the past? If he has cheated on you then let him go its unhealthy to remain in the relationship
2006-07-07 02:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good question but you are the right person to answer it. Girlfriend, you are being used. What are you gaining in this relationship? The man has been divorced twice, do you think you are the right woman for him? Sorry, I do not think so, please think about this, you are in a serious trouble. Do not let him use you, find a suitable partner before it is too late.
2006-07-07 02:23:14 · answer #5 · answered by cuti g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorced..... twice. The problem may not be from his wives, He might be the PROBLEM. It is the responsibilities of the man to carry the cost of child upbringing. You are vulnerable now my dear. Stop and think. Take time away from him.... go some place you could relax. Talk to someone you could trust but not about this issue, what I meant is talk to someone (other then him) close who could make you smile and happy. Happiness could clear your mind to think about the best course of action. maybe he may not be the answer to your future.
2006-07-07 02:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by VonSmile 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, dump his lazzzzzzy azzz. I can not stand a man who can not that can not take responsibility for his own. The man has a lot of baggage to care of it seems to me that you do too. If that little voice in your head tells you to drop his sorry butt, then what can you say, do it! But I am not trying to tell you what do to do I am just telling your from own personally experience.
2006-07-07 02:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by SweetCoco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As sad and as difficult as it might be... I think you need to find someone who doesn't have as much unexplained and/or repeated baggage/behaviors. I think men, that have personality traits like those you explained that he has, search out, kind, loving, giving women... the 1st 2 wives .... at one time... may NOT have been "nutcases"... Don't let him make you the 3rd nutcase!!!
2006-07-07 02:22:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't stay with him. Give him a chance to get back on his feet. Then see if he comes back to you. Live on your own for a while and don't look for Mr.Right. That's when he'll come along. Just have fun by yourself and live life for you. Don't try to make everyone else happy.
2006-07-07 02:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by Courtney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it is. sounds to me like all it's doin is givin you stress you don't need. why in the hell are you takin care of a man who can get off his a.ss and help you out sometimes? as for his ex's if he can't tell them to just ***** off and leave him be then he obvisouly doesn't have and balls and isn't worth a damn thing. i'd find a new man if i were you and get rid of this jerk
2006-07-07 02:19:25 · answer #10 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋