Should I break the engagement off to avoid trouble?

Question

Im 18 and just recently got engaged to the man I've been crazy for,for two years. My parents like him but dont think hes right for me, this relationship has definetly caused tension between my father and I. They dont know we've just gotten engaged and Im not so sure if I should announce it, it might cause greater problems....please help, Im in desperate need of advice.

Answer 1

So your parents don't think he's right for you? You're only 18!! You might feel like you are old enough to decide for yourself what's right and what's wrong. And maybe you are! But honestly hon...give it time. If he is truly the "man of your dreams", there should be no problem in waiting to get married. Some engagements last years. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you have to get married immediately. Love will not fizzle out in a couple of years it that was truly the person you were meant to be with. Explain that to your parents. Right now, they are only looking out for you. If you tell them you got engaged, but are waiting at least 2-3 years to get married, it might help them to understand. It's very hard for a parent to look at someone 18 years old and think that they are old enough to make their own decisions. Give it time!!

Answer 2

I never heard you say you were in love with this guy. What I hear you saying is that you're only 18, he's much older than you (you called him "the man") and being "crazy for" someone much older implies obsession and crush to me... not a mature level of love that should be prepping for marriage.

Sometimes being that "crazy" about someone, especially when you're so young, sort of clouds your judgment about what the person and the relationship really are, long term. It would be important to listen to what your family has to say about the man, as well as the relationship.

They're probably telling you that you're too young to be making such a decision. They're right. They're probably telling you that you're throwing your life away on an older guy without taking the time to live your own life first. They're right there too. If it's real, it'll still be real in two years or four years. If it's infatuation on your part, it will fizzle out (no matter how good it feels right now) once you begin to establish your own life.

Consider furthering your education. You should be thinking about college now... or technical school... not marriage.

I have seven children, and I've given them all a "rule of thumb" to gauge things by: "If it's something you feel you need to hide from me, it's probably wrong." You just said "they don't know we've just gotten engaged" so by the measure I use with my own children... it's not a good idea.

Marriage is something that should be celebrated and if, for some reason, the people you love aren't celebrating with you... it's a huge sign that there's a problem you're just not seeing. Please reconsider and respect your parents' wisdom. They've lived and learned a lot of things that you haven't encountered yet... and their judgment is probably fairly good here.

Answer 3

Our parents are our gatekeepers, our watchers if you will. They always have our best interests at heart, the brought you into the world and would die for you if need be. They are older and see things coming around the bend that your inexperience doesn't. \

I hope you aren't engaged to this guy to be rebellious, you are only 18 and will regret marrying so young. How do you think you will feel when you have a few kids and realized that you never went to college, never dated a bunch of guys never had a life and God forbid, your parents were right.

Why the rush to get married? Think about that, date for a long time, you have a lot of time and might change your mind as you mature.

Please don't announce it and tell your boyfriend you want to wait, you want to go to school, get an education and a career. If he isn't willing to wait for that, he isn't supportive and controlling, if he loves you he'll wait.

Good luck.

Answer 4

reliable question guy. i'm interior of a similar boat. We weren't engaged (yet) yet we were speaking about marriage. She changed into even speaking about it a week beforehand she ended it. We broke up in October after 4 a million/2 years together. She changed into my finished international and for countless months i changed into thoroughly lost and puzzled. She became very chilly and distant for a lengthy time period. we are nevertheless acquaintances and nevertheless communicate on occassion to seize up, yet now she is shifting to Phonix. I nevertheless won't be able to get her out of my head and nevertheless opt to be together with her, even after all that has befell between us. Its an really puzzling and problematical time. the merely excellent advice i am going to provide is to furnish it time. Like me, you should commence shifting ahead along with your existence, because existence is too short to take a seat and anticipate someone. Do the failings that make you satisfied and bypass out and meet new human beings. from time to time all of us opt to step out and word if there is a few thing extra accessible, it quite is what she is doing. she will both come across a clean existence for herself or she will do not ignore that you've been each and every thing she needed and are available lower back. this can take some months, it ought to take a 365 days, yet you won't be able to take a seat round and anticipate her. in ordinary words time will tell. God Bless!

Answer 5

You are 18, and a young adult. You have reaches a point in your life where you must tackle the hard decisions. If this man is the love of your life, you may miss out on something good. It is a judment call you, and only you can make, because you are the only one who sees the whole picture.

Answer 6

when getting married, I think both sides should get along, since it will be forever together,
are you close to your dad? do you want a traditional wedding, where your dad walks you down the isle? then need to talk to your parents with your financee there too. you all need to talk this out thoroughly and calmly . and maybe there could be a compromise.
all parents think that the person that our children marry isnt going to right for us. just talk with your parents ---the 4 of you together.

Answer 7

18 is too young. You have a lot more time to experience life. Don't waste it on a premature marriage. I'm sure that is what your father is concerned about. He's just looking out for you.

Answer 8

If you have to ask whether you should be engaged or not then maybe you should not be. When you get to be an adult who is fully able to take care of herself you'll realize that while you may respect your parents they can't tell you whom you should marry. They can certainly voice their opinions, but as an adult YOU get to choose.

Answer 9

Give yourself more time. Either a he'll grow on your Dad or somehow things will work out. But regardless you'll get more time to think about it and make a decision when you are ready.

Answer 10

If your crazy about this guy then DONT LET YOUR PARENT RUINING THAT FOR YOU. Your not marrying your parent your marring this guy. your father should understand how happy you are with him so it shouldn't be a problem.