Me and my bf broke up last May of this year. After he went abroad. And recently he calls me up and txting me saying that he still loves me and he still cares for me. I know that i still love him very much but still can't forget the pain that he caused me when he broke up with me saying he's getting along again with his ex (his long term girlfriend). Last night i can't believe what had happened...he is crying when he called me up and saying that he's getting married by next year when he get back in our country... and now they are already engaged! He say those words while he is crying! He keeps on telling me that he is still very much in love with me but just can't hurt the other girl's feeling... He told me that he is confuse of his situation. I don't know why he still say that he loves me despite of the fact that he can't let go of somebody else. Please help =(
2006-07-07 01:17:52 · 29 answers · asked by HisAngel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talk to him and ask him why is he doing this. There must be something else.It's not even normal. He loves you very much but he leaves you for his ex so she mustn't be hurt again, What about you?Tell him that he is making a big mistake . Tell him that this is love and he must follow his heart not the pain to heard somebody else.Can't he see that hurting you?You must do something. He has got himself in a place were he must sacrifice something or somebody. If he truly loves you than he must break it up with his ex.It's the only solution. You must act now don't just stay there and cry! Go for your love!
2006-07-07 01:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by Soso 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously very confused and probably just sort of riding the current relationship along, afraid to let go of it for you in case you don't want to get back together. This is clearly a person who doesn't wish to be alone, but who will stay in a relationship where he's not fulfilled just to avoid loneliness.
If he calls again, advise him to get some counseling so he can work out his feelings for you and the other girl... and then get strong enough about himself as a person that he can make the right decision for himself... and stick with it, even if he hurts the other girl. He needs to be able to tolerate short term pain for himself as well as others if the long term result is best for all concerned.
Interestingly, he didn't hesitate to break up with YOU before... so it could just be that dishing out that pain made him feel so bad about himself that he can't manage to do it again unless he knows there's a cookie at the end of the tunnel. He needs counseling... and a few more years of maturity.
2006-07-07 01:27:23 · answer #2 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Steer clear of this dude! It sounds like he's still not willing to give that other girl up but is wanting YOU to give him sympathy and who knows what else while he has the best of both worlds! If he is sincere about his feelings for you then he'll step up to the plate and break it off with this other girl. Nobody gets married just because they don't want to hurt someone else's feelings. If you really can't let go of him make him show clearly and definitely where his true feelings lie. Otherwise you'll be back in relationship limbo. Good Luck!
2006-07-07 01:24:50 · answer #3 · answered by Shelly C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes l know is had to let go a relationship that has lasted so long but u most understand one thing dat he does not love u anymore cos like you said dat he said dat can not let go of the other girl dat is to show u dat he is just deceiving u with the word dat he is still very much in love with u. my dear from ur mind from there cos there is someone out there who love and cares about u so much but just dat u have not let the old go so dat u can get hold of a new beginning in your life.
2006-07-07 01:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mylove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He made is choice and as hard as it is to hear, you ain't it. You need to realize you need deserve better than he's willing to give. He's engaged, move on. Why does he get to make the decisions? Find a real man who such not a manipulator, he's trying to keep you on the line in case this relationship doesn't work out.
He's using you, realize what a wonderful person you are and that your true love is out there waiting for you and you are wasting your life with this creep.
Good luck and find yourself a good guy. This one is a big baby!
2006-07-07 01:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by marianlaughs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, this poor boy is messed up in the head and emotions. He doesn't have a backbone to figure out what he wants. You need to figure out what you want. Do you want to spare yourself future pain and tell him to drop the other girl and you and and for him to get his act together or do you want to ride the emotional yo-yo ride that you will have if you tell him that you will give him a chance with you. I would go with the first.
If he already told you that he is engaged, odds are that he did the asking. Then he says that he can't hurt the other girl's feelings ! ? ! Give me a break ! Either he's lying to you, ( why, I don't know ? ) or he's mentally messed up.
Good luck
2006-07-07 01:26:22 · answer #6 · answered by yodeladyhoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's doing this to you because he's scared of the thought of committment and marriage to this other girl? Bottom line is he left you and got engaged to another girl!!! There's no guarantee that he won't do this again to you, so you better think twice about doing anything with this man. He broke your heart once, don't give him the opportunity to do it again. And never be a safety net for anyone! Think of it from his fiance's perspective...how would you feel if a guy proposes to you and you found out he was talking to another woman, crying and saying that he loves her??? It's not fair to you and it certainly isn't fair to her. Don't fall for this!!!! He's using you to get himself out of the hole he dug himself into. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be with someone else, period.
Find someone who appreciates and respects you.
2006-07-07 01:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're in pain. Only he can fix this. If he's marrying for the wrong reason, he'll be unhappy. You will have to cut off all ties with him so you can start anew and move on. His indecision... err... kind of decision doesn't show that he can make a stand. You deserve someone better... You'll meet someone who will be perfectly yours someday. Have hope. Everything will be alright. Pray to God for help.
2006-07-07 01:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Felici 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy seems real confused about his feelings. If he went back to his ex,and now seems to miss you, what makes you think he won't start to miss the ex he is engaged with right now and start crying over the phone with her later? It sounds to me like you need a real stable person to be with- a REAL man. Not some whinny little girl who doesn't know what he wants.
2006-07-07 01:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by III 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it in a calm and rational way. Maybe he doesn't want to marry this girl in which case help him get out of it. Explain to him that you are unsure if you still love, especially after he hurt you like that and is already about the marry! I hope this helps and good luck.
2006-07-07 01:21:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋