My (verbally abusive) mother is having a birthday party for my father. She is having it at an expensive restaurant 2 hours away from us because she doesn't think her wealthy friends should have to drive to go to the party (although she thinks it's fine to make her children and grandchildren drive 2 hours!) Now, I have kept my family at arm's length because they are abusive and very messed up. Two of my siblings and my mother are pathelogical liars and verbally abusive. One is just not pleasant, another (very nice one) is not going. All of my neices and nephews willI go. It is not actually on my dad's birthday. I might visit them on his actual birthday. My husband and I have a baby and the day trip would be very difficult for us. It's my husband's only day off. Chances are that I will leave and feel horrible because I will be insulted or ignored the entire time. Ignored is better with this bunch.
The question is can I skip my dad's birthday party to protect me, hubby & baby?
2006-07-07 00:24:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sassy Old Broad, Your answer would have been much better suited had you not used really annoying terms like "whining". Obviously, it has occurred to me to go. You don't need to be insulting in order to get a point across. therefore, your answer, since written so horrible, is completely useless.
2006-07-07 01:24:35 · update #1
Oh, yes, about my dad. He is totally disassociated by my mom's behavoir. He is in another universe. When he is here mentally, I get along with him, but it's rare. My mom yells at him and he habitually ignores her. They both contribute to the problems in their relationship and within the family. I forgot to mention that another relative is coming who makes EVERYONE cry, he is so mean. And, by the way, my daughter has stranger anxiety, so she'll probably be miserable. Now, for anyone who thinks I am "whining", the reason I mentioned the thing about being ignored is that if they are going to act like I am not there, then why should I put in the effort. A two hour drive in the summer with a baby IS a big deal. Thanks everyone!
2006-07-07 01:45:42 · update #2
You can choose your family and with this motto in mind, I suggest that you should miss you dad birthday. Imagine this is another time for the two of you to make more memories together that you will cherish always. Just ignore the other part of your family that you do not like
2006-07-07 00:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by ngina 5 · 7⤊ 2⤋
I don't see any reason why not.. go visit your dad on his actual birthday and the day of the party make up some excuse as to why you can't be there.. the baby's not feeling well or your husband got called in. Your mom seems like she'd enjoy hanging out with her friends better without you anyway.
2006-07-07 07:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sigh.....ok....so you're the "victim" here and it's your DAD's birthday, right. Why can't you be a better example, and a more mature woman and just go to the damned party just to PLEASE YOUR DAD? Why drag all of this other personal stuff into it?? What is 2 hours of driving....nothing! How hard is it to sit with family and just smile and act pleasant for an hour or so. You can't be insulted unless you WANT to be insulted. Your reaction is the key here. Ignored?? So what? Its not your birthday!!! I say....suck it up like a woman, and GO to your DAD'S PARTY...even for one hour...and show them that you are a bigger person than you sound like you are. Set a good example for everyone and keep smiling and keep your mouth shut and don't react to any insults. When the hour is up, tell everyone goodbye, and hug your Daddy's neck. You may never get another chance to do this...you never know. Now stop whining and get ready to go!!!
2006-07-07 07:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your main focus now is on your own family: hubby and baby. You of course should visit your father separately--if he treats you well-if not, then cut the ties with him too. You do not want to expose your child to such behavior. You really can make a happy life for yourself, even if you never see your 'family' again. Anyone who tries to destroy your self-esteem does not love you. And if your father does not stand up for you, I question his love too. Becoming an individual if tough, but worth it in the end.
2006-07-07 07:50:06 · answer #4 · answered by Alea S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the party, why put your immediate family through that trauma. Just tell your dad Happy Birthday, and you love him.
2006-07-07 07:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
absolutely. you do what you think is best for YOUR family. No reason to ruin a day out of your life . I bet your dad will love it when you show up yourself on his birthday.
2006-07-07 07:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just ignore the party.... and don't forget to call your papa and say Happy b'day
2006-07-07 07:28:24 · answer #7 · answered by relaxplease2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Big Q
2006-07-07 07:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by ausrg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋