I am pregnant, should i leave the father?

Question

Im 9 wks 3 days preg. The father wont stop accusing me of talking and wanting to be with other men. He treats me like crap, I know i get moody alot but I love him and want to be with him and there is no other man i am talking to or want to be with, I already have a daughter who is almost 5 and I don't know if I can do it. I am so scared. Ever since we have been with each other, he does nothing but accuse me of stuff. He is a really jelouse and insecure guy..I am in florida so i know there is help out there but where. I am keeping the baby, i know i can do it the only thing is how am i going to work...what shoudl i do???????? I cry everyday..It isn't good for me or the baby...and he doesn't even think the baby is his, and I know for a fact it is, I am honest, truthful and 100 percent loyal to him..

I talk to him and tell him i love him and only want him and i am not talking to anyone and it doesn't mean anything to him....I have tried talking to him so many times and it does nothing

I have a great job, I have been here for over a year, but not that much money to support 3 people, i am just making it with my dauther and I...you can contact me on the pager

I already have wic, and insurance for the 3 of us..

I already live on my own, I have a one bedroom for me and my daughter...there is another room, dinning or study room I could make into the baby room

Answer 1

if a man is to jelous he can do and undo, esample, my num once told me to beware of man who are too jelous, a man in my country once beat his wife to death accusing her of sleeping with another man, so all i will advise you know is to leave his house for now till you have a safe delivery and by then may be he will come back to his sences, but please don't devoice him yet, all am saying is just excuse him for some time, you can go to ur parent or even rent an apartment for 2month, mean while, please remember him in your prayers everyday, tell God to take control of his heart.

N.B if a man is in love he can be jeolus, but not too much, becos marriage is about understanding each other.
i wish you safe delivery in jesus name and stay cool, avoid craying and streesful things.
best of Luck dear.

Answer 2

ok, first things first...you have to try and lower the stress level...it is no good for you or the baby. I know you know that but you have to live it. About the guy, I don't know the nature of the insecurity he feels but he seems very insecure. Bottom line though is this, if he is treating you like crap now, it WON'T get better after the baby. Don't convince yourself it will. Don't think the baby will "bring him around"...it just don't work that way in the real world. A baby will add more stress to the relaationship, trust me on this, even the best relationships have issues when a baby is born You are both tired, there is no time for yourselves or to go out...it is very stressful.

If you fell it deep in your gut that this is NOT how you pictured the relationship then leave, get out for both you and the baby. As far as help there are many places you can go. Start with the local churches or county clerk. They can drect you to programs in your area that may assist. Some people don't have family to turn to but if you do lean on them for now...and keep your pride in your pocket...your baby and you are more important than pride. Try to work as long as you can while pregnant. There should e some low cost child care options for your 1st child that may allow you to work at least part time. As a last resort you can look to state funded assistance. It should only be temporary - don't look at it as low class yadda yadda ...you are a strong, young woman. You will pull p and out of this dispite all that seems bleak now.

I am not sure where you are spiritually...but these are some great websites to help with your emotional stress right now. They are not based on any one religion - they are spiritually based and just common sense stuff.

Do yourself one favor...stop the self-pitty...there is no easy way through this, it will be alot of work so you need to pick your head up and realize your own inner strength. Focus on how great you are and how you have come this far...how strong you are and how you will get through this. The guy seems to be a crutch and a way for you to not have to work so hard to get what you want or have to do. Your guy should be telling you how happy he is and anticipating the baby with you not telling you it isn't his???!!! He not the one and you don't need a guy to get thru this...you're a woman and we are strong!

Answer 3

The first thing to do is ask yourself what situation you, your daughter and the baby on the way will be happiest in? A hostile unstable environment or a happy calm home where you might not have all the material things but life is good. Can you afford to do it without him? Keep in mind that he is legally bound to support his child. The best thing to do is TELL him he is having a paternity test done to prove that the baby is his but throw him out until then. This should shock him into facing his love for you and stopping the obsessive bull or leaving for good. Good luck

Answer 4

I am sorry your are experiencing these difficulties. I do understand what you are going through, though I didn't have children to worry about. Sadly, I too was in a relationship which was unhealthy....and when I finally left, I was amazed at how much better I felt about everything. I too used to think I was moody and bitchy and now realize it was because I was so unhappy.

Unfortunately your relationship with this man is unhealthy, for you, your daughter and unborn child. And I believe you do recognize that. It will not be easy for you to leave this man and it will be a struggle but you owe it to yourself and your children to do so.

Below is the link to Birthright, which has locations throughout the US. They can help with anything from medical testing to housing to jobs, and if they can't help, they can tell you who to call. At least contact them to find out your options...take control of your life and be proactive.

http://birthright.reachlocal.net/

Good luck!

Answer 5

he needs to go you and your daughter and the baby are better off without him. You should first go to social services to find out what you need to do about child support and see if he can pay the insurance for the medical treatment throughout your pregnancy from there they have programs I am in CT so I am not sure if it is the same in FL but here we have WIC which will give you food for your pregnancy then after the baby is born they pay for formula and food for baby. also there is daycare assistance from the state and they will help with both your children, you have to search for the resources but they are there, i would start with social services first and go from there. Good luck

Answer 6

that is verbal abuse. plan and simple, and it will never stop! do you want your daughter to grow up listening to him talk to you like that??
what if this new baby is a boy! what a fabulously horrible roll model he will have in his father!
i was with a man like this also. i got worse! and he started to yell and bully my son. that was IT.
contact a church, tell them your situation. they are most likely the best people to help you get somewhere safe.
use the resources at your disposal, contact the Department of Human Services, they can help you with food, daycare, anything else. you can also get on unemployment....that will help till you find a good job.
family? friends? do you have a support system or is it just you?
ppl in the church will be there for you if you don't have family that will be there for you.
just get out of there. one day, he may start verbally attacking his children! you don't want that trust me!

Answer 7

I am due end of october and had a boyfriend like your's but got tired of explaining to him and every move I make so I left him and I love being single and know I can do this on my own but think about and explain to him how you feel maybe he's doing something behind your back but not always just be front with him!

Answer 8

His jealously and control are abuse. These are the things experts say can lead up to physical abuse and worse. You don't want to wind up being a statistic, being hurt or killed by this man and I think it would be wrong of you to continue to expose your five year old to him.
Definitely leave him or kick him out- whatever you have to do. When you do this, be sure to have friends and family (and even police) present so that he will not harm you. Men like him are dangerous. Don't take chances.
-Meg

Answer 9

I'm also in Florida but i'm not a Florida residence(i'm from Arkansas) but they should have some kind of housing assistance..trying calling your local DHS office and if they cant help you see if they know who could...but you need to leave him ASAP...you dont desirve what he's doing to you and HIS unborn child

Answer 10

you sound like a really nice woman, you need to stand up to him and tell him, that:

you love him and him doubting that hurts you
you love your child and you want the family to be together
you will no longer stand for him treating you the way he does