How do i help an overweight friend?

Question

My frend is extremely obese (her BMI is 39.9). Her dr. says her <3 is in trouble and shes overall unhealthy. Ive tried to talk to her bout it b4, and she got mad at me for bout 5 months. Were frendz again but shes still gaining weight! Ive tried everything i can think of "ive been eating so much! i NEED to go to the gym so i dont gain more weight" or "i really want to take up pilates/weight training but i dont wanna do it alone!" or "i wanna cut out candy. i just feel so bloated after i eat 'em!". we were lookin threw a magazine + it was followin some grlz threw ther weight loss. 1 girl was 5'8 + 180 lbs. She didn look really fat (definately not obese). + my frend said "i don understand why i weigh so much more than her I think i look the same as her, but i weigh 60 lbs more + am so much shorter!" I didn know wat 2 say to her, but thankfully the fone rang. what do i do? Im worried bout her weight cause shes so unhealthy, but i don wanna lose her as a frend either... HELP!

I appreciate all ur suggestions but i have tried everythin. She lives a block away from me + i asked her if she wants to walk our dogs 2gether. i asked her if she wants to go to the gym w/ me so i don get bored. i took pix of the 2 of us hoping she would see the size diff. but if she does, shes not showin it. She really into fashion. but we never go shoppin 2gether b/c we cant shop in the same section. shes in the + sizes. i feed her healthy food when she comes over and hide the unhealthy food. she has a treadmill at her house, but nvr uses it so i don tink its a privacy ting. She is very touchy about her weight. she always says "im so hot". she also puts people down a lot. its in a completely joking manner, but when she says "well, your just ugly" i can never reply b/c all i can think of is "your just fat" and i would never say that to her! shes talks about gettin lyposuction but she needs to learn to lose weight. lypo isnt the answer! i tell her that, but she ignores me!

Answer 1

Well, the number one thing to remember is that you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped.

Your friend will do what she wants to do until the point when she decides to change.

Some things that you can do are:

Be a supportive friend no matter what. Don't be a fair weather friend and only support her when she is losing weight, but be with her as a friend no matter. Losing a friend during a time like this will most likely only make it worse.

You may want to see if you can invite her to your workouts as you don't want to do them alone. Even if she isn't going to workout with you, you could invite her to be with you and keep you entertained while you work out. Perhaps she will see the fun in it and jump on the excercise bandwagon.

It is possible that she is afraid to work out because of what she feels she will look like. A great number of people who have gained weight feel that if they are seen working out, it will only be an opportunity for others to mock them. If you can find a workout situation where there are fewer people around, a more private area, that may help as well.

Do not bombard your friend with facts about health, or weight, or diet. She knows. She needs to make the decision to change and nothing else will cause her to do that until she's ready.

I really hope that you find a solution while remaining as friends.

Love as always,

Sebastian

Answer 2

You can't help someone who does not want to be helped. Until she *gets* the message that something is wrong, she won't do anything about it. I don't understand why you would think she is a good friend if she was willing to not speak to you for five months. That sounds more like a dictatorship than a friendship. Anyway, you can only make suggestions and it's up to her to listen or not listen. The choice is hers.

Answer 3

you won't lose a friend if your honest, but nice with her. just tell her you want to help.. drink a lot of water.. be running buddies, or walking buddies. both of those activites will help lose weight.. and help her eat healthy.. when ever she comes to your house only give her healthy but good food, and not sweets.. if she asks for something fattening just say you don't have it.. she will understand later on why you were doing this, and will appreciate it..

also look through magazines or the internet for good cardio workouts that r good but fun..

well i hope i help..good luck! e-mail me anytime!
[e-mail]

Answer 4

she needs a reality check show her a recent picture of herself and i no u dont wanted to risk hurting ur friendship but it has to be done. im sure she finds it hard getting clothes etc and maybe deep down she knows she is very heavy. ur goin to have to trick her into evercise like asking her to walk down to shops as u want to get into shape. give her tips that u no works. like more water less white carbs. shes lucky she has a good friend as she is goin to need a lot of support durin this

Answer 5

okay if your friend wants help, then be the first at her side but if she is sensitive on the subject then dont bring it up. but if she means alot to you and you dont bring it up then do her favores that she doesnt relize! like asking her to go on walks with you, or buying her lunch but a healthy lunch, or when you go to her house and she offers you something to eat tell her no that youre eating healthier! maybe she'll start thinking about it to! but you probly shouldnt mention her weight probs to her because then you just hurt her and your relationship with her! good luck to you and your friend!

Answer 6

join a sport club. u guys could enjoy yourself + could loss weight. take her 2 your house 4r sleep over and give her healthy food and encourage her 2 loose weight. also take her to beach coz she might get jealous of others having flat tommy. and so on...........

Answer 7

Take her for a nice walk everyday

Answer 8

sit down and actually talk to her

Answer 9

PLZ INVITE HER FOR A MORNING WALK.

Answer 10

why you have written eassy of "MY BEST FRIEND"