Living with my Fiance'.. Lots of bills.?

Question

I dont know what to do. It seems like we never have enough money. I make more money then he does, but yet he pays 2 bills- cable & 1/2 of rent and then seperately his car payment, insurance, cerdit cards, gas, and cell. I pay all of my bills, which include 1/2 of rent, electiricity bill, internet, car payment, car insurance, gas, food, laundry and some of his bills sometimes! Do those debt consolidation places really work?! He needs one. He has 7 credit cards completely maxed out. He's not really getting anywhere with making minimum payments, and I am tired of paying for everything! We've been fighting a lot about it lately! Also, this week he wants me to give him 200 dollars. If I do we wont have any food! Does anyone know how much interest those "cash advance" places charge?
Any advice is very much appreciated!

Answer 1

I for one feel your pain. I am in the exact same spot you are right this given minute. I had to get a loan, by the way im not married to him yet, and consolidate. Your man needs to do the same. It takes some work and a few weeks, but its well worth it. Instead of me paying out hundreds to each credit card, I am now making one payment of $500.00. Otherwise, he WILL never ever get out of debt. Once the financial instution of your choice gets him out, I would keep one credit card, hopefully yours or just one of his, for extreme emergencies. Lending tree dot com has some nice offers. I have also looked around the homefront, cutting costs on cell phone features, removing ones I do not need. Going to basic on the hard line phone inside the house omitting long distance on it. Eating a lot of chicken and hamburger, cooking a beef roast once in awhile seeing that it feeds for 2-3 days. Saving on gas, instead of going out several times for short trips, make a list, then go out and that should help save on gas. Car Insurance, here we go, did you look at your plan, go over it again. You only need collision if your car is brand new. Carrying $25K for medical is good, anything over that is rediculas and the insurance company will tell you different but hey, thats how they get money off of you. Just check over the bill and look at what you can cut down on. Also him wanting $200.00 a week? Forgetaboutit!! What the heck is he thinking? While your here brain storming he wants $200 a week? NO!! I am not trying to be mean but this requires him to have a joint effort in this financial and serious matter. Going to work and taking lunch is a good savings, what does he need $200 anyway for? Any excuse like "I just like to know I have some cash on me" or "I might see something I like" or yada yada, NO and NO and NOOOOOO! I mean come on here, times like this both have to be driving in the same direction here or you are NOT going to make it. Time for him to put his feet back on the ground. Show him black and white answers. Like laying out his and your debts in front of him on a table and show him and then let him realize this is where WE are headed if WE dont straighten this out TOGETHER. Oh boy, sighing. I do wish you the best of luck in this. And yes, I am dealing with the same and my guy is stubborn and believe me its like a toss between pulling a tooth with him and conking his head. I pray to God you find a way, and pray for me too. God's Blessings. Peace.

Answer 2

Cash advances are really costly.
My first husband and I once owed 60 thousand dollars on credit cards! I went to Consumer Counseling (CCCC? - check your area) and at first they couldn't even put a plan together for us, our income just wasn't enough. So, I continued paying what I could (I did not know at that time, that I could probably have gotten rates lowered just by calling the card companies myself). After a couple more months, I went back to them again, and this time they put a plan together. It took us a good four years to pay that off.
You defintely need help. Do a search for consumer counseling help. BTW, we contributed $5.00 (which they said was voluntary) toward their service.
Another thing you must do:
Write down everything you are spending the money on. You must do this to know where the money is going, and the consumer counselor is going to ask you this.
You need to know specifically where the money goes; the counselor will need to know things like, how much goes to entertainment, dry cleaning, eating out, groceries, car insurance, car payments, hair cuts, etc.
People are usually spenders or savers. I have to work a little to be a saver. Both of my parents are savers. But it often happens in a relationship that one is and one isn't.
BTW, Oprah had a good show on about financial DIET. One couple were on the verge of divorce when they put this plan into effect. They fell in love all over again! The wife who had been the big spender has done a complete 180 turn, and actually helps keep a lid on the husband's spending! The great thing is, they became partners with a financial goal, which is key to a lot of things for your life, well-being, etc!
So, sit down together and have this serious talk, and get started on your own financial diet.
Also, BTW, I once read about a couple in deep debt who ate nothing but EGGS for two months so they could get a handled on their situation. They survived!
Oh, also, my credit union offers free help along these lines; check with your banking institution also, and other sources online.

Answer 3

Stay clear of the cash advance places, they'll eat you alive. Get on the web and search out one of the "FREE" credit counseling organizations who can help you prioritize and consolidate. There's lots of advise and help out there. Seek and ye shall find. As for the credit cards, the minimum payments are just that and you end up accruing interest when you don't pay the minimum plus interest. You need to prioritize. Is cable really necessary? Can you get a better deal with cell phones combined or do you really even need them? Get quotes from insurance companies for both cars on one policy. If his income is less than his bills, he needs a part time job until he can get caught up. You shouldn't be paying his bills, that's nonsense. If he were on his own what would he do? Stop trying to rescue him and let him handle his own responsibilities.

Answer 4

cash advance is no answer our local one charges 700 percent -no joke.

Think in terms of food shelter and health- get rid of unecessaies TV and Cell phone.
Internet . sell the car and bite the bullet . You may have to negotiate with the credit card companies for min payment plan . Pay the lowest one off first more than the min each month .

Eventually you willl need to get rid of all but a 2 credit cards. and stay on a budget till you pull out. good luck

Answer 5

dont use the cash advance they charge to much try to live within your income because there is no easy way out

make a budget and both of you put money toward it. Then keep the rest of your money yours

He shouldnt be taking your money and the budget should be equal. Pay the bills first including food then put part of your left over expenses into a entertainment category for fun the rest should be saved

if you cant stay in a budget revise it until you can but you have to live within it or you will not make it

Answer 6

You and your fiance do need to talk. If you plan on getting married then you have to honestly evaluate both of your bills and figure out who can handle the finances better--he or you. The one who knows how to handle finances best should handle all the bills and ensure that they are paid in a timely fashion. When I met my husband he was heavily in debt, we talked, I took over his paycheck and finances and 18 months later he was out of debt.


If this situation leaves you unsure on weather you want to stay with your fiance because you feel that you are not getting anywhere, then you also need to talk to him. In essence he is the man, and a man has to be able to pay all the bills for his family. I do not believe in thie "new millenium" stuff. However, if both agree, the man can be the housekeeper while mom earns the living(to raise the children). In any case, I do think that you and your fiance have a lot of talking to do, otherwise the relationship is doomed to fail.

You can create a budget with him and then stick to it until the bills are paid off. The most important thing is to pay them on time, you and he know when you all are getting paid. If he can handle bills better than you, then you might consider turning your bills and an adequate amount cash to him to take care of that, if you are better then you should handle the finances. Both of you need to be able to stash emergency funds to the side, no matter how small the monthly saving is. Remember, creating a budget is easy, sticking to it for a long time is the hard part. If your fiance does not want to co-operate, then you need to consider leaving him, because then it will always be your burden to provide.....Good Luck

Answer 7

i understand your frustration, but take my advice, DO NOT GO TO A CASH ADVANCE PLACE. i did that a few years back and couldn't get out of it for 3 years. you won't just pay it back, you'll have to keep going back again and again and it ends up being an extra30 dollar bill every two weeks on top of what you already are paying. take my advice, figure something else out, cut back on stuff, shop smart for groceries, get basic cable, anything you need to do. good luck.

Answer 8

been there done that......took years to get out of it and finally did...After getting out of it we cut up all credit cards and pay cash for everything....my theory is if I can't pay cash for it...I don't need it. There is a big difference in WANTS and NEEDS. Hope you the best.

Answer 9

do you really love him? if so then call the credit cards ask for a lower intrest rate which they should give you then cut up all his credit cards so they can not be used and tell him to just do with out for a while until things get better, especially if he wants to have a life with you.

Answer 10

Yes, cash advance services are expensive--and should be.

Your fiance is using you as his personal cash advance service because you don't charge any interest!!

Wake up, honey--you're well on the way to being cleaned out.