If you have been molested, how do you get on with your life?

Question

I'm sure that the people who have hurt me don't even think about it, but I do. I have done all of the forgiving and letting go that I can do and yet it just wont go away. I don't consider them bad people, just people who have done bad things. I am grown now and at an age that is over thirty, but just recently I had someone very close touch me inappropriately. I froze (returning to my childhood) and did nothing about it, but everything in me wanted to beat the hell out of him. I don't want to be hurt all of my life. I am a christian and try to believe tha everything happens for a reason. I spoke to my psychology teacher years ago and she said that part of my overweight was do to not wanting to be touched. I really don't want to be fat all my life, but what can I do.

Answer 1

omg---i see alot of me in you its scary-----

I was molested as a child----gang raped and left for dead as a teen----i gained alot of weight since then---and i think part of me being overweight is because i dont want to be touched inaporpriatly----but it happend at a party---this shook my world just was 3 years back some guy thought since he was drunk he coudl touch me----**** i frooze for sec got away from him----and got away---i was having so many flashbacks was scary----my friend who i told i wanted to leave---he didn;t understand why i was flipping out----then when i told him what happend he didnt belive me----well he is no longer my friend---

anyways---alot of what you are feeling im going through---i have ptsd from what ive been through in life---mostly from incident when i was a teen----so if you want anyone to talk to my emai is [e-mail]

You are not the only one going through this----im 28 by the way----jsut want to respond to this because i feel for you

counciling didnt work for me===what works for me is just learnign to deal with it and tryign to move on the best you can------for those who think "ohh just get over it and move on" YOU CANT and if you were in our shoes you'd know that,

Answer 2

I feel your pain! I was also molested as a child. First You did nothing wrong! The molester is the one with the problem not you ! Your feelings are valid. After 20 years of groups & consuling I thought I had done all the work and gotten passed all of the bad stuff then I was at my mothers funeral and I was standing 3 feet form her coffin trying to appologize to my step father for being a diffcult child and he reached around like he was going to put his arm around me . Instead he slid his hand between my body and arm and grabed my breast! It was then I had a moment of clairty! I realized what a pathitic creatuer he was! I possesed so much more that him! I have integerty, honesty, truthfullness, My honor , I don't hurt anyone, My life is so much more than those discusting things that have done to me ,not by me! Please take into consideration that you are valued by what YOU are and have done, not what has been done to you! You are in control of you and what you choose to do. Don't let that piece of **** define you for one second longer! I am not saying I am totally healed or ever will be [ I still have issues with being touched.] But I run my life not things I have no control over! Peace and love

Answer 3

If you are a Christian, then you must know that you DO NOT have to "forgive" anyone that hasn't asked for forgiveness and repented -- which means stopping the sinful behavior!
Kick the "dust" off your feet and move on with dignity. You did nothing wrong. Not sure EVERYTHING happens for a reason.Don't drive yourself crazy asking WHY....you're not going to find an answer.There are a lot of creeps in the world and you crossed paths with one of them.
You also know that the molester will someday pay for his sin...so move on with your life and be happy. Be proud of yourself and lose weight if you want to. Someday you may meet someone special and develop a loving relationship and then you might like to be touched by that certain person.
God Bless

Answer 4

You get to a point in you rlife where you just have to decide, do you want this to ruin the rest of your life or do you want to get onwith it and be free. i have been there, trust me i know it hurts, and having relapses is totally normal thing. i know people always say spiritual healing is the only way out of this one, but i beg to differ. what you should do, go and sit with a piece of paper and a pen and just wright. About anything, about what happend, about what you want to do about it, about what you want out of life. remember this, your brain is like a big box and everytime something bad happens it fills more than what it will if something good happens, every now and then you should open the box and get rid of all the negatives and just keep the positives. Maybe you should talk to someone about it, but i wouldnt suggest that. all you need to do is star writing things down. keep a journal. make a point of it that everytime you think about what happend, write it down. and when you feel you have nothing more to write, burn it, and with it burn all your emotions and fears that has something to do with what happend. i know it sounds stupid but it works. I was molested as a child by a family friend and a docter for 6 years, i just got over that when i gor gang banged at a partie. yes i tried everything, i was suicidal at one point in time, untill i finally decided that if i don't start getting on with my life, then they (the bad people who did bad things) have won. and now here i'm sitting feeling absolutely brilliant, i have a good job, my poetry (that is how i got over what happend) is getting published. i rearly think about what haapend, but when i do, in a wierd and strange way, i'm glad it happend, because it made me a stronger person.

think about it...

Answer 5

You can do two main things, Dwell, or get over it. And put it behind you. Its unfortunate that this has happen to you, but you have one life (I'm not religious sorry) you might have one life, and do you want to do nothing, or do you want to live? Did you ever tell someone to grow up? Well, you need to grow up too, and like words let them roll off your shoulder. If this didn't happen to you, you would be someone else, perhaps someone you don't like, still- you are- who you are because of your experience, and your alive, you're alive, don't waste it.

Answer 6

I 'm trying to get this question answered too, the only answer i can give is to put this in the Lords hands and not blame yourself and try to move on