i need help dealing with by best friend and her boyfriend... please read and answer!!! im desperate!?

Question

my best friend is going out with this great guy named thomas, we always hang out together( the 3 of us) but sometimes when im alone with him for a few minutes it feels like hes flirting with me. well today jessica called from thomas' phone and i missed it so i called back, he answered and said that it was him who had called, then he asked me if i wanted to do anything friday, i said is jessica gonna be with us and he said no he said he wanted to go chill on the lake front as friends, i said i didnt think it was a good idea so he just kept saying that she wouldnt know about it, i just kept telling him that i didnt want to ruin my friendship with her and i kept coming up with excuses as to why i couldnt go... then he even said wat about thursday!!! and he said that he wasnt around jessica, then i heard him talkin in the background and he said "i cant do that to that girl thats just mean..." then i realized wat was goin on cuz i was so confused. anywayz jessica started laughin and i asked

"were u testing me?" and she said no i just told thomas to just mess with u... but i dont think thats wat happened cuz i dont think he would do that to me on his own and i dont think he could come up with all that... i think she planned it out... and the other nite she got jealous everytime me and him would get into a conversation or he would say something and i would agree, so she started saying stuff like me stealing him from her... and i told her my reasons like i would never do that to any of my friends and my mom wouldnt approve because hes 20! plus she lost her virginity to him and that would break her heart if they broke up and me and him hooked up but i still wouldnt. oh and shes so jealous and she always starts fights! shes gonna loose him whether she likes it or not, and hes so sweet; he truly loves her, he fixes her food and drinks and gets her a blanket when shes cold and he likes to just sit with her and watch tv and cuddle! is so cute! and he is hot, but she needs to

trust me... oh yeah my question is do u think she was testing me to see if i would go with him? and she told me that if i would have said yes then she would have kicked my a$$!!! is she a good friend? should i talk to her about it? should i ask thomas if she made him do it cuz hell tell me and he will keep it between us... hes very trustworthy.

Answer 1

well, I'm not really sure what the question is here, but based on what you wrote, I can tell you that it SOUNDS LIKE your friend Jessica was setting you up to see if she can trust you around her boyfriend (or even to possibly eliminate the "third wheel", so to speak). I have a strict rule that I've set for myself and others in my life. I don't question a persons honesty unless they have done something that warrants it and then I simply investigate, ask for the truth, and determine if I have received it and go from there. Little games to test a persons honesty, friendship, and love come from not trusting one's self. Make it clear to your friend how that situation made you feel and that you need to be firm in insisting that those games stop. Gauge your friends response, does she laugh off the situation? If so, maybe she will laugh off your friendship. Does she put you down for feeling the way you do? Maybe she'll discard your friendship as much as she's discarding your feelings. IF your friend shows true regret and agrees to not encourage those types of behavior in others and controls them for herself, give it a shot if you really love her. Trust me when I say, you will end up at the end of your life with only a couple of true friends...can you see her being one of them?

Good luck my dear and remember that we are all part of Nature and God, and like Nature and God, we are perfect.

Answer 2

These are some sick games. Jessica nor Thomas are your friends. Their little prank was not funny. A real friend does not "test" another friend. This is not normal behavior. Sounds like Jessica has already noticed that her "sweet" Thomas has the hots for you. Distance yourself from both of them. If you surround yourself with their drama, you will be pulled in. Neither of them deserve your allegiance. Run like the wind in another direction and hopefully you will meet people who know how to be "real" friends.

Answer 3

It sounds like u have a crush on him. But u r really mature 4 putting Jessica's feelings 1st & not pursuing ur own desires. Talk 2 her, let her know that u really value ur friendsip with her & u would never let a guy come between that. Don't talk 2 Thomas about it. It's between u & Jessica, not Thomas.

Answer 4

Sounds to me she was testing you. Women are possessive when it comes to there men. She just wanted to make sure you were truly a good friend. If she keeps acting like a butt head about this guy, stop hanging out with him, even around her, so it will show her u just want to be friends with her and would never let anything come between the two of you.

Answer 5

I think your friend or if you would call her your friend is totally jealous of you. Stevie Wonder is blind and can see that from a mile away.
If she was your friend she knows you wouldn't stab her in the back. She wouldn't have to test you. If you was secure with herself she wouldn't have to play such baby games. For testing you , you should kick her ***.
You need to pick better friends. Cause friends don't hurt each other like that. There is no need for that.
I don't know why you would want to even stay friends with a person like that. People like that don't have any morals.

Answer 6

first of al i am sorry for what they did to you and second of all one of my friends did that to me and it hurt me really bad becuz she knew that i kinda liked him but me being a good friend said no and just as you did i could hear her laughing in the back ground :(( anyway the point is i dont think your friend trusts you she sounds like she wants thomas all to her self likes she owns him or something but you can not own a person and you can talk and choose all the friends you want just be smart at it and i dont think that jessica is a really good friend if she is going to do that to you and call you a boyfriend stealer i mean what the heck my friend is like that too if i even talk to her bf shes like you boyfriend stealer and i was all whatever and me and her bf were like best friends and he was all hey if your going to be mean to my friend i cant be your boyfriend and she was WHATEVER and walked off ..i dont think what jessica is doing is worth losing a friend over thomas seems really nice and i think you should stay his friend and i think jessica was just trying to be rude at what she did... i hope this helps you out becuz i tryed my best it helps a lil if it happens too you too and if you have any more ? i will try to anwser them for you.. bye

Answer 7

tell your best friend,she will thank you in the long run,unless you have feelings for this thomas guy? Just explain to her what has been going on and that you told him NO from the start.
I was in this situation where my best friends b/friend tried to climb into bed with me I said no stop,I told my friend as soon as she came home from work,it was hard because I didnt think she would believe me,she threw him out that night and never saw him again. Just go with your heart,good luck

Answer 8

It's for sure that she made him do that. That really isn't a real friend. I would never imagine a best friend telling another that they would kick their a**. Be careful jealousy is the leading cause of break-ups with boyfriends and the end of friendships.

Answer 9

You already have it figured out. Jessica isn't much of a friend. She is getting you into so much drama, I'd stay clear! Who needs that crap?
Be friendly, but quit hanging out with them, at least not as often. Show that you are independent and have other friends to hang with.

Answer 10

Let me tell you something. Honey leave that alone. I want you to face them two hillbillies. Playing games with you. You tell them if they can't trust you, you don't need them. They are not your friend anyway. Not any of them. Thomas should have told her "no that your friend. " I think he likes you anyway. She can't trust herself. Get you some new friends and leave them alone.
they are playing kiddies games and can't trust eachother.
find you a real friend. You will know her when you meet her right away. Good luck.