I'm getting married soon I've been told the first twenty years are the hardest is this true?

Question

Any tips for along happy marrige or a long messy divorce.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like this was told to you tongue in cheek.

Answer 2

i have been married 14 years this year and would marry my husand all over again. My tips for a good marriage, Trust - do you 100% trust your partner? through your married life that will be put to the test never let any one think you do not sometimes even the closest of friends can sometimes play on a weakness. My partner is my best friend i have good and close friends but at the end of the day the only people we really trust is each other. Dont expect life to be like the telly it is not you will argue and get angry but 'its only an argument, too many say in the heat of the moment ' im leaving' and then have trouble backing down and last of all be able to say what you feel in an agrument get it off your chest then move on not every argument finishes will one of you saying i was wrong we have a saying there are too sides to every argument my husbands side and the wrong side but no matter what is said to each other we know at the end of the day we will be there for each other. I hope it works for you

marks wife

Answer 3

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/CjR6l

Answer 4

What a load of rubbish!! Life is what u make it as is marriage. You enter into it with your eyes wide open and a sense of wonder.

It doesn't mean that everytime an arguement kicks off it's the end of the world. Its healthy to argue but its the making up afterwards thats the best bit. Give and take, trust love respect and time and you wont go far wrong-- Also compromise has to be 100% between u both..

Those are the ingredients for a long and happy marriage

Answer 5

The first how ever many years will only be hard if you want them to be or you let them be. Remember you only get out of life what you put in to it. Same as any relationship. It requires effort and compromise. Things are not one sided, you are not the boss neither is she, agreement is the answer. Life is not all rosy and sweet. Do not give up no matter what, drive through all that life will throw at you and you will both have happy and fulfilled life, forget the first twenty years. Concentrate on the first twenty months.

Answer 6

Marriage is all about both people wanting it to work and not walking away at the first hurdle. You need to be able to talk, laugh, cry, scream, make up, agree, disagree, spend time together and spend time pursuing your own interests, yet all the time be thinking of the other person along with your own wishes, and putting them first in a lot of ways.

Every marriage has it's ups and downs but if you are both committed to the relationship and each other, it can be a really wonderful thing.

Good luck and best wishes for a long and happy marriage.

Answer 7

Trust yourself only and no one else....i ask you one thing what is the one and only thing that keeps the relatinship forever strong?.......FEELING/s yes it is the feeling only that keep us together in a storng realtionship forever may it be any relationship...and talking about happiness, i wish your relatinship stays full of happiness forever but as a reality it doesnt happen ever....god has created good and also bad at the same time so happiness comes and goes that main thing is to stay together and face evrything together may it be happiness or sorrow...
TRUST is only a 5 letter word but it has a lot of weigh in the meaning of it....ppl out there get jealous of other ppls happiness and try to ruin it but as long as thier is trust there no one can destroy it....FORGIVENESS is the best part of it all, some one ones told me "one that forgives is bigger that the one that punishes" so if either one of you make mistakes fogive each other....I hope this helps, I wish you good luck and a long happy married life.... remember Feeling is a strong thing, dont listen to whoever says first 20 yrs r the hardest...

Answer 8

First, agree to disagree. It solves alot of problems.
Then always remember what it is that drew you to this person, and when you are angry, remember those attributes.
Always apoligize first, esp if you are wrong =)
and when you can't stand the arguments, read a self help book or join a program like alanon. It helps you to see that your reactions are your choice and teaches skills to problem solve. (usually the problem is with me and learning to look at what issues cause me to react to harshly helps me to figure out what changes I can make so I am not reacting negativly all the time.)

Lastly, (and most importantly)
remember to love yourself, and find healthy ways to get your needs met. No two people can be everything for each other, you have interests and so does you partner. Try to do things with each other that you may not paticually like and show each other that you care enough to try what they like.

Susan Surrandon said it best in "Shall we dance" when she said that ppl get married to witness each others lives, they promise to not let the other person's life go unnoticed.

So be a witness!
lily

Answer 9

Yes sorry to say it is true first you half to live with someone you adore one minute and hate the next but there is not only two people in your marriage there is three you him/her and also God always make sure he is there and you will have a long happy marriage i have been married for 12 years and 3 children so good luck to you both also God Bless

Answer 10

no the first year is the hardest with yr #s 2 and 3 at a close tie for 2nd. The first year is when you basically learn to live with and accept the other, the sen\cond and third is when you start finding your groove, and after that its pretty much all good. just rember there are highs and lows and as long as you fall and climb together you ll be ok

Answer 11

There are no blueprints for a successful marriage. People change and circumstances change, Every relationship has a natural "shelf life" and there is little you can do about it. Dont make the mistake of trying to keep an unhappy marriage alive just for the sake of it. Dont take your partner for granted and dont stop growing and enjoying life and new experiences yourself either. Your marriage will last as long as it is meant to.