and then he tells me the lie about the lie about not loving me was a lie. we go thru this every year. now we're split and he is unhappy and misses me. Oh he loves me again. How do i keep from enabling him to do this to me.
2006-07-05 19:47:51 · 21 answers · asked by Dragonfly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't fall for it again. Be strong, make sure he stays a part of your childrens' life but move on. Someone who repeatedly does or says things that hurt you, then repent, then turn around and do it again aren't going to change.
2006-07-05 19:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To keep him from doing this, you have to stop letting him back in the door. He will only make a fool of you and lie to you as long as you let him. You go through this every year? You poor thing!
If he will lie about this... he will lie about anything. There are no "little lies" or "I was just kidding!"... a lie is a lie. That's scary!
The only way he is going to see you mean business is when you stand your ground and don't give in to his childish behavior. Sounds like he's immature. Tell him to grow up so you might consider a reconciliation, but only when he can show he's a man. You two need to start some marriage counseling. In the meantime, tell him to start paying child support.
Love isn't an "on again, off again" thing. You either love someone or you don't. Period.
If you decide you don't want him back, you can always try his game... but just ONCE! You can say.... "Okay... we'll get back together... oh wait..... No we can't! I was just kidding! That was a lie!! How does it feel???!!"...
Good luck to you and your children in this situation. You're going to need all the help you can get to stay strong so you can get your husband to start acting like a husband and not another child for you to take care of.
2006-07-05 20:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hes lonely and he cant make up his mind or cant find anyone as good as you so he knows he can keep getting you back and as long as you let him do it hes going to do it. Get a backbone and tell him you are NOT coming back anymore. Tell him if he really wants to be with you then make that decision and stick with it if he does that and then changes his mind again tell him you are DONE for good!
2006-07-05 19:51:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You order your life around your children. As long as your husband or ex continues to act like a child, treat him as such, but you go on with your life like he isn't there.
If he Does love you, he will step up.
Otherwise he will likely pout and go away.
He will survive without your attention, your kids will not.
2006-07-05 19:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by Dude L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you do not deserve to be treated like that. You need to put your foot down, tell him what he needs to do to be with you and STICK TO IT. If you allow him to walk all over you, then he will, trust me I've been there. But if you say enough is enough and are willing to back it up, he will change ONLY if he wants it. It's possible to survive, my family is proof :) Good luck girl!
2006-07-05 20:00:31 · answer #5 · answered by seraphikah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and don't let him continue to rule your life. If he loved you he wouldn't do this to you. He obviously needs to start loving himself first before he can possibly love anyone else. Give him a wide berth and enjoy your life.
2006-07-05 20:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has some work. Sounds like you have some work. If you can figure out where each of you are at before you go to counseling, it would be more productive.
2006-07-05 19:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by OhIdonno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not love you thats it..he can't reapet something you do not mean over and over again, yet he knows it hurts you!!
so take heart and move on, leave him for the sake of you and your social life..
you deserve better treatment..
2006-07-05 21:23:29 · answer #8 · answered by MaiTah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a problem making up his mind so you need to do it for him. Either he loves you and is willing to give this marriage his all or he doesn't. No excuses allowed, either it's yes or it's no.
2006-07-05 20:56:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
turn the tables on him make him pay ! make him so jelouse he can't stand it ! if you want him back take the bull by the horns and shake his butt UP a LiL men can't stand it when they think someone else is getting the bootie LOL just make him see your worth it !
2006-07-05 19:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by Stormy W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋