First off my bf is a muslim, and I am currently learning about Islam and will convert soon. I have had trust issues with guys for a while. When I met my current bf I had this good feeling about him and lied to him about my past. I told him I was NOT a virgin and that I had 3 sex partners. I figured if he still liked me we were meant to be. The truth is, I lost my virginity to this guy. Well, 5 months later I tell him the truth, slowly, by lightening up the lie little by little. Now he knows the full truth. He has trouble believing me now, which is understanable. But I love him, and he started to love me, until I told the truth. Now he doesn't say it anymore. I always felt guilty but his love, and religion made me want to come clean. We plan on being together especially after I convert. He's mean to me and compares me to other girls. It hurts a lot, but I deserved it... Will he love me ever again? Will God forgive me? How do I pray for forgivness? No bad talk, please. I hate that crap..
2006-07-05 19:24:19 · 5 answers · asked by Seinfeld 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
PS; we also get along very well. We're very comfortable around eachother and he's an amazing person. He's not a bad guy whatsoever.
He doesn't do anything unless he has reason to, so please don't bash him. I relaized that he sounded like a bad person, but he's the best.
2006-07-05 19:26:29 · update #1
Don't tell me it will be a mistake because I love islam.
I used to be a catholic, and when i was about eight years old, I told my mother it sounded like crap. I stopped going to church then. I'm not saying that catholicism is stupid, but as a child it didn't make sense to me and ever since I have been looking for a religion that does.
Even if this guy and I were ever to stop seeing eachother, I would convert. But I am also converting because I love him and he means the world to me.
2006-07-05 19:57:35 · update #2
I believe in it.
2006-07-05 20:24:11 · update #3
Thank you jak4friends and Ben!
I don't see Islam as a problem, i'm just afraid i'm not suitable for it. I think it's a wonderful religion and I believe it. My bf is teaching me a lot about it, and everyone involved is so considerate and pure. I just hate that I have wasted 18 years of my life with no God.
2006-07-05 20:55:00 · update #4
Your problem has nothing to do with Islam. You're new to it and you think it's the cause of all your problems but it's not. Islam is a way of life not a problem to deal with.
Your problem is a trust problem. You told your guy a story then gave him another version. Maybe at first you didn't think that you will fall in love with him and that you'll be marrying him orelse you would have told him the truth. I think that he is overreacting. It's not that big of a deal. Having had lost your virginity to that one guy is better than having done it with 3 different men.
I think that he has no reason to change his attitude towards you.
To answer your questions: He will love you again (actually he didn't not stop loving you). Yes, God will forgive you incha'Allal (is you take a step forward of being forward, Allah will forgive you all your past sins). How do you pray for forgiveness? just say it (from your heart) after your prayer: I will not sin again; That should do. And no bad talk. You'll be fine :)
2006-07-05 20:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ben 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Did some research for you and found out why your bf is acting like he is. Sorry for what is below. (as for forgiveness...I do not think Islam offers that for your case b/c you cannot become a virgin again but I could be wrong).
Actually the reaction of your boyfriend makes perfect sense. If you study Islam and Muslim culture you will see that Islam has no problem at all with men having sex with non-virgins whom they are not married to, but has a huge problem with men having sex with virgins that they are not married to. It is considered a great and grave insult and defilement against the woman's father and family and the woman is traditionally killed after she is rapped because "her immodesty invited the sex/rape". Look up "honor killings" in Muslim culture. Women who have sex before marriage are not looked upon with high regard in Islamic culture, especially women who give up their virginity under false pretenses.
Advice Regarding Marrying non-Muslims
By Ali Al-Timimi
http://www.zawaj.com/articles/adviceali.html
QUESTION:
I need a fatwa regarding making the marriage contract in a church or in a civil court.So the question is: If a muslim is getting married with a Christian woman, is it permissible in Islam to make the marriage contract in a church or a civil court?
ANSWER:
as-Salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu:
As for regarding, marrying a Christian woman, one must understand that Allah has permitted for us the "muhsanaat" among them. This means that the woman _must_ be chaste. -->READ THIS<-- As for those Christian women who have had sex outside of marriage; it is impermissible to marry them. As most American woman, these days, have sex before marriage, a "muhsanah" from the Christians is a rarity!
As far as the contract, it is impermissible to have any part of the marriage ceremony at the church; as this entails witnessing shirk (or perhaps at times participating in shirk), like when the Priest takes the ring from thr groom, and then places it on the bride's thumb, forefinger and the middle finger while saying "In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost" (may Allah be exalted from such blasphemy) and finally rests the ring on the index finger. Also their marriage has many ceremonies which are from the practices of the unbelievers that one may not partake in.
As for the contract in a civil court, this is permitted if two conditions are met: (1) There is no acceptance of the laws and system of the disbelievers as supreme or valid as this would nullify our testimony of faith; (2) the registering of the marriage in the civil court results in some benefit that outweighs the harm of not registering the marriage. (This is the case with the majority of Muslim marriages in North America in particular for citizens and residents.)
2006-07-06 19:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by Liet Kynes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you think that Islam is the right religion and you can follow it and it will be the right decesion for you then do it.........juast following relegion in which you don't have belief will be stupidity.hhhhmmmmmm convince your boy frind that you will not lie him again.you should know that in islam one of the biggest sin is lying so to you should stop lying .best of luck take care.
2006-07-06 03:13:09 · answer #3 · answered by jak4friends 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jesus Lives and is everything that was said about him in the Bible. You asked.
2006-07-06 02:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT CONVERT! It will be the biggest regret of your short and unhappy life.
2006-07-06 02:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by reality check 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋