well I have been with my BF for about 2 years now...when we arent fighting we love eachother very much.. we are like soulmates when we arent fighting.. but he has cheated on me the first few months of dating eachother and hasnt done it again... hes hit me alot of times.. calls me names alot.. and controlles alot of my life... he hardly ever listens to me and he has made me hate myself...but I do love him and I know he loves me.. hes only 17 so should I wait and see if he grows up and gets more mature?? or is he never going to change??
2006-07-05 18:29:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
its alot easier said then done leaveing him.... he makes it seem like I nEED him..
2006-07-05 18:37:17 · update #1
LEAVE HIM NOW! he will not grow up, he will just grow meaner! i know a girl who's boy friend would hit her,she stayed with him. then one day he hit her in the back of the head with a beer bottle so hard that one of the pieces flew off and struck another girl who was an innocent bystander, it hit her so hard she had to get stitches too! and if you have children he will most likley hit them too. this kind of crap happens all to often! if you think you love him, you obviously dont know what love truly is. i hope you leave him and find someone who will treat you right so you know what love really is!
2006-07-05 18:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by oneemazingplace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM! Are ya nuts??? I know it's easier said than done, but do it for you. Don't stick around and to see if he'll mature. Tell him to call you when he does. NO ONE should keep themselves in a situation like that. Leave him for your own good. Yeah, it will be hard, but keep in your mind that you WILL get over it, move on, be happy, and find someone who deserves you. Work on yourself. You said he cheated on you and hasn't done it since... well, personally i think, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater and once a beater ALWAYS a beater. You're only disrespecting yourself and staying with him only shows him that you could care less about your life and he can do what he wants. I know it's hard to be taking advice from people you don't know, but you wouldn't of asked the question if deep down you know what's right, and that's to hit the road. Move on! Two years is a long time, but if its hell then why stay? Of course things are great when you aren't fighting because that means he won and he's happy. You gave in again to whatever he wants. Don't let anyone but you control your life! Also, dont let ANYONE make you hate yourself! GET OUT! MOVE ON! BE HAPPY!!!!!
2006-07-06 02:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by snoball_81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read this carefully: RUN, RUN, RUN as fast as you can away from this boy. Hitting you even once is one time too many. In your own words, he is emotionally and verbally abusive, controlling, degrades you, and never listens to you. I think you love the idea of him being around and having a boyfriend. More than likely, you are in love with a time in your relationship when things were a lot better. If you had a daughter or friend who came to you with this question, what would you say to her?
Emotional and physical abusers make you feel as if you are nothing with out them, when in fact the opposite is true. They are nothing with out you! It is a ploy to make you stay and it is sick and twisted. He knows that when you walk out the door he will have to face the person he has become because he will no longer have you to blame. Please do not fall for that con.
He is not going to change because he has no reason to do so. He has cheated on you, beat you, contolled you, and made you hate yourself. Yet you are still around and declaring that you love him. Why should he have to change when there are no consequences for him?
At 17, you both have a lot of growing up to do. I promise you, you will not be able to do it together. You need to learn how to love and respect yourself, how to be by yourself, and see what kind of life you can make without him. There are a lot of guys out there who would love to meet a girl and date her without ever thinking of doing any of the disturbing, repulsive things this boy has done to you.
Relationships are supposed to make you feel good about yourself. A relationship where one side abuses the other in order to feel better about themself is destructive and useless. Do yourself a huge favor and no matter how much it hurts, cut off all contact with him; you'll thank yourself later.
Please get out and make a great life for yourself! You deserve it!
2006-07-06 01:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to me, this is going to lead to more serious problems. I know Im just a stranger on yahoo but trust me when I say that, thats not a healthy relationship and you should end it. ESPECIALLY if he hits you, perhaps you should nicely suggest counseling to him because theres a reason why he treats you the way he does. I was in a relationship EXACTLY like that for 4 years and it took for me to fall in love with someone else to completley get out of it. Now, different things work for different people so I suggest you pray about it and let him go for a while and like I said suggest getting help to him and/or his family. No girl deserves to be treated badly like that and you even said yourself that he made you hate yourself. If youre smart enough to get on here and explain the problem , and seek help and advice, then youre smart enough to know what he is doing is wrong. He needs help and you need to let him go until he gets it before too much damage is done to your body and soul. That is NOT love.
good luck and best wishes!
2006-07-06 01:37:28 · answer #4 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you should definitely leave him. It's an abusive relationship and no one deserves being hit and called names.,this is not love . anyone that controls an others live is being possessive and you will be left with very low self ..How can you say you love that someone who hurts you ? the man certainly don't love you to do those things and make you feel hatred against your self.He has a very serious problem and wants to bring you down to his level. No people like him never grow up and will NEVER change ....RUN GIRL...
2006-07-06 01:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by loretta59f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not his mother, it's not your resposibility to raise him.
This boy has a problem. don't make it yours:
if he truly loved you he woudn't treat you that way. he may say he loves you, but actions speak louder than words:
"Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends."
The Bible - John 15:13
although you may love him, your first obligation is to yourself. you need to love yourself enough to not allow yourself to be used & disrespected.
you are as equally human as this boy, you don't deserve to be treated like anything less than the pricness, diva, queen you are.
Dater’s Bill of Rights
⧠I have the right to refuse a date without feeling guilty.
⧠I can ask for a date without feeling rejected or inadequate
if the answer is no.
⧠I do not have to act macho.
⧠I may choose not to act seductively.
⧠If I don’t want physical closeness, I have the right to say so.
⧠I have the right to start a relationship slowly, to say,
“I want to know you better before I become involved.”
⧠I have the right to be myself without changing to suit
others.
⧠I have the right to change a relationship when my feelings
change. I can say, “We used to be close, but I want
something else now.”
⧠If I am told a relationship is changing, I have the right not
to blame or change myself to keep it going.
⧠I have the right to an equal relationship with my partner.
⧠I have the right not to dominate or to be dominated.
⧠I have the right to act one way with one person and a
different way with someone else.
⧠I have the right to change my goals whenever I want to.
© National Crime Prevention Council, 1700 K Street, NW, Second Floor, Washington, DC 20006.
2006-07-06 23:21:35 · answer #6 · answered by 1derous1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl.. u can do so much better!! no girls deserves to get hit by any guys, what makes them so special to lay their hands on a girl in a abusive way? think to yourself hun, you are special and loving, i know u love him but u gotta think twice before u move on since he's causing u to hate youreslf which is not a minor problem. girl.. i understand how u feel and i aint trying to tell u what to do but the choices are yours, if you really love him then u gotta put your feet down and tell him whats up, but the best decision is to leave him before it gets outta hands.. u hear me girl? be strong, i know its hard and painful but its the best for yourself! there are many guys out there whom will treat u right and appreciate as who u are..
2006-07-06 01:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do u love in this age? do u ever think before you love someone? u guys have puppy love, puppy love is not good, plus if ur in love someone shouldn't rule u and abuse u like that. don't wait any longer. i say this love is stupid. if he is 17, he will not be mature till he is above 26. are you gonna wait that long and get abused and ruled by him? most guys never learn, they treat girls so cheap. u will never know when these guys would be mature enough to treat a gal right. grow up gal, ur parents brought u to study, not to love a guy so young...anyways best of luck. its ur choice to listen to me or not. teenage love is always called to be "Infactuation"...don't let love ruin ur life...get ur life straightforward and meet alot of nicer people...then u will understand wat i told you.
2006-07-06 01:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U deserve better than that. If he really loves u and if he really cares for u, he wouldn't treat u like that. I think u should leave him becuz a guy that would cause u to hate urself isn't worth it. he's not the only guy left in the world so find someone that treats u better. (^_^)
2006-07-06 01:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by ~R!@~ (^_^) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you love him, why let go? your just hurting yourself doing so. people change as time goes by, it may be worse to goodness, good to bad. nobody can answer, only god knows as they say. but the decision is your's because of that love is why your still with him. just hope and pray that he will realize the goodness of you, for him to change.
2006-07-06 01:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋