i have been married to my husband for 10 yrs now. ive known him since i was 14 and knew that he was married one time before and i knew he had a son. well when the baby was 5 months old his wife said she was going ti visit family and she never came back. his son is now 19yrs. old and we have 4 other children in the ages of 14, 4, & 3.we talk about it and he always gets down around the holidays and his sons birthday.however i have located his son and i told him i found him and i asked him did he want to contact him, and he says he dont know. i want to contact his son and tell him where his father is and try to reunite them. do you think i should do it and not tell him until we get a date set or should i let him make that call on his own. i think hes nervous and is afraid that his son might hate him or be angry with him. so please if there is anyone out there who can give me advice please let me know .
2006-07-05 17:58:09 · 6 answers · asked by curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely.
A father needs to know his children are safe, and a child needs to know their parent still loves them, regardless of age and distance and heated opinions!
I watched in agony growing up my father not knowing his first two children, because of their mother, and it breaks my heart to speak with them today, because I received the love and attention that they too deserved.
And if you know how to contact this child, do so. You never know what could happen tomorrow, and then you would regret not acting on what your heart is telling you to do.
2006-07-05 18:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by Halo Rayn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are great for finding his son and now it is all up to your hubby to do the rest, keep at him and tell him that the worst he could say is "i dont want a relationship with you" but he has to try and make an effort.too much time has past and now it is time for your step son to meet his step mom and brothers and sisters.if he doesnt want to do it then tell your hubby you are going to do it for your kids, i think you should send him a letter and have him deside if he wants to contact you then that is his choice, you shouldnt just walk int ohis life and think everything will be ok. write him a letter and let him deside if he wats to meet his other family. good luck.
2006-07-05 18:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that this isn't ok. i don't believe of the doorstep son meant some thing undesirable and probably does not understand hoe demeaning that is. youngsters that age bypass by using woman/boy acquaintances weekly so he ought to easily concept time is up besides i am going to make some money on the deal. If does not study now why that is so unacceptable it ought to develop right into a large issue in the destiny. i'd clarify to him in a way that he ought to understand about someone emotions, that folk should not be offered and purchased, and why that is so incorrect. merely telling him now to not, highly by using your husband who would not seem to get it likely isn't adequate to make him understand. possibly turn it on him - how may like his lady friend who he thinks he fairly likes promoting him - to in ordinary words absolutely everyone. What if he don't like the man he changed into "bought" to. how may he sense? i believe i'd be extra worried about your husband wondering that is okay. even as the boy did not comprehend any extra acceptable or provide it a lot concept, your husband must have. you shouldn't ought to describe it to him. tell your husband you needed to purchase some thing for your self so he now has to bypass on a date with someone (available someone he can somewhat tolerate) because you "bought" him for that evening to pay on your purchase. See how he feels.
2016-11-01 07:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 15 years, my friends daughter tried to contact her dad, she found his brother and talked to his brother and the brother came over and gave us her phone number to call her.
i waited a week and then i called her myself. we started talking and then he came home and she was on the phone and he would not talk to her.
we had a major blow out about it and separated for a couple of months. in the meantime, i kept contact with his daughter. he finally started talking to her.
now 3 years later, she lives next door with her kids and we are a family.
she hurt him when she left and he didnt know how to deal with it. but it all worked out. i have another daughter with or without him.
2006-07-12 16:32:29 · answer #4 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would let hubby make the call because you just know his side of why his kid was raised without him and his son only knows the mothers side.... thats way to personal of a decsion to make for him even with the best of intentions.
2006-07-05 18:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please allow your hubby to make that call on his own.....Only HE knows when the right time is for that to happen.....
2006-07-05 18:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋