I been with my husband for about 10 years and help him raise his daughter. I watched her grow into a young lady. She was raised by her dad and me, while her mother moved on with her life and new family. Now that my step-daughter is grown, her and her mother is pretty close. She tells her mother everything about her dad. How well he's doing and all. For some odd reason, I felt like a fool. After all these years with this child, she always respected me but i don't have any kids but her. She never gave me nothing for a birthday, mother's day but sometimes on christmas. I give and gave this child so much support and money threw out these years, now i feel like a dam fool!!. Everyone got something even her mother that never gave, gets something not me. Should i mention this to my husband or keep asking god to reveal more to me?!
2006-07-05 17:11:16 · 8 answers · asked by FOXXTAIL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can mention it to your husband if it bothers you. I think you probally don't care as much about the gifts, just that not getting one made you feel like you did not mean anything to her. If you are upset by this talk to your husband about it, I don't see anything wrong with that. I bet she is giving her mother gifts and trying to be close to her because her mother left her when she was little and she is trying to make sure she doesn't leave her again and by sharing her father's life and giving her presents, she thinks she can prevent this from happening. I am sure she loves you, you were there for her for many years. I say yes, pray to God for healing and peace and talk to your husband, too if it bothers you.
2006-07-05 17:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by melissa_anne_maison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave things alone. If you gave to this child, you gave from your heart, correct? She is probably trying to make a relationship with her mother. Even though you were there for her through thick and thin, she's probably felt abandoned to some point by her mother. I don't know how old she is, but you need to give her room to do this. Believe me, she knows who was there for her. Continue to be there for her. Doesn't matter what she gives you or doesn't give you. Remember, there is no need to feel like a fool, this was done from your heart (or I hope it was).
2006-07-06 00:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step kids are the hardest, mostly it's not that they don't love you or remember what you've done but it's that they feel ashamed as you are the "other woman". I had this problem with my daughter and her stepmother. I had to explain to her, she's now 14, that that is her father and stepmothers house and she is to respect her and treat her as she would treat me. However if her mother isn't trying to help her with her relationship with you then it may just be the case of not wanting to hurt her mothers feelings by giving you what she knows you deserve for being there.
2006-07-06 00:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by pohter1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God bless you for all you did for this child. I think you should keep it under wraps for a while because I think when the going gets tough she will eventually come back to you. Mom is new to her since she did not grow up with her. She will know who to come to when she needs someone special. My daughter is in the same type situation. She married a man with 3 children and now that 3 yrs have passed they know who to come to for a normal since of life. There own mother choose her boyfriend over them. Just keep up your chin..god will bless you for this.
2006-07-06 00:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by Cootie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to stepparenthood!!!!! Even if she WAS your child she may not do those things, just depends on the personality....Please don't feel like a fool, you have done everything in your power to be a mom to her.....Believe me the newness of her "real" mom will wear off soon (when she gets angry about her not being there her whole life.....And she will....) and she'll come back to you.....If not just take to heart that you were a great mom to her and did everything possible to make her life comfortable......Take care, dear.......
2006-07-06 00:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have u and her relationship been strain? If not maybe she is trying to reconnect w her estrange mother. Hold tight for a while and maybe approach your husband about it and y'all all can have an adult conversation.
2006-07-06 00:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by inneedofhelp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I hate to say this but I think step kids dont really ever love you like there real parent ,Its like a good friend kind of love.And thts really all you should be to her.Your not her mother ,your just her dads gal.And thts all !!!!!!!!!!!!!! get realistic here.
2006-07-06 00:38:37 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its not the ralationship counts between you and kid,you should not blame yourself to get something in return its just an act of humanitarian because we are born for that purpose
2006-07-06 01:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by Arnold E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋