You have recently been offered the dream job that you have waited five years for. The problem is you would have to miss the first 12 weeks of your new born baby's life, along with relocating your family 3 hours away from all your relatives. Your spouse would also be responsible for the baby all on her own the first 12 weeks.
By moving you would gain financial stability and your spouse would not have to work.
Do you take the job?
2006-07-05 16:23:01 · 25 answers · asked by GJB 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Well, if you take this job things will be tough. If you have to relocate, you and your wife will have a very very tough time since you have a newborn. If your wife is nursing, she probably getting very little sleep so add to that moving and things will be very hard. If the job makes financial sense and you really need it... I guess it's a good decision. It will be great decision if you're having financial trouble now and yoru wife is having to work.
Why would you have to miss a whole 12 weeks of your child's life? Do you have to travel and be gone that long? Or you just talking about long hours? If it's long hours you'll still be able to see your baby. You just have to make a consious decision that you will spend quality time with your baby when you are at home, and quality time with your wife.
If you are talking about being really gone for 12 weeks, that will be tough for your wife to take care of the baby on her own. Is there family around to help? If not, you'll have to find some other help so that your wife can recuperate and recharge every few days.
Your baby grows a lot in 12 weeks. Though your baby won't ever remember you being gone for that long, you will know. You may feel guilty. You'll miss yoru baby's first intentional smile and a several other fun moments.
Anyway... like I said, if your finacial situation will change dramatically from black to white, then you would have to seriously consider it. On the other hand, if you're fine now and this would just be "icing on the cake" so to speak, think about passing. The hardship on your wife and you missing your baby's first 12 weeks may not be worth it.
2006-07-06 03:06:03 · answer #1 · answered by mrs.izabel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would depend largely on the agreement your spouse and you reach. While it is true that you would miss 12 weeks of baby fun and it would be really stressful on your spouse the financial stability that it would provide would be the greatest thing for the comming years, braces, college and all. You are not alone when it comes too making this decision. There are all the single parents of the world and all those that work away from their children and only get to see them for a couple of months in a year. It wseems very hard but it is a sound choice ( taking the offer that is).
2006-07-05 16:35:07 · answer #2 · answered by sonya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we did move the day after my son and I got home from the hospital, but I would not have missed even an hour of my son's first 12 months. I had an anxiety attack the first time I went out for groceries by myself after having my son, he was 2 weeks old I think. My husband was home with him and Gabe was probably in bed the whole time. The store is only a few minutes away but it was still too much for me.
We are on a disability pension, but even to get my dream job and financial stability, I still wouldn't do it.
I have a friend who did have to do this though, but his son was a few months old and he stayed behind with his mother until he was about 8-9 months then they moved everything out to Alberta to live with the father. I know how much he missed his son and pictures just weren't enough, he made a few trips home to visit as soon as he was able to get time off, he still missed his son's first Christmas though.
2006-07-05 18:25:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would because you are able to video tape those 12 weeks and see everything that your baby does and I'm sure your wife would be able to handle taking care of the baby and the rest of your family could have her stay with them until you have found a place for your family to come to. It's not like you are leaving for 1 year if it was that then no stay but it is not so make the move it will be best for your family
2006-07-05 16:39:24 · answer #4 · answered by krazy4_coke2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me personally no I wouldn't. But you have to look at what is best for you and your family. Most importantly, how does your spouse feel about this. The first 12 weeks are the most difficult with a newborn, especially if this is her first child. There is so much thought that needs to go into this decision, and I hope you will come up with the best answer for you and your family. Best wishes to you!
2006-07-11 09:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by all8418 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! babys need financial stability..it costs alot of money to raise a child..and to provide for them
im living on a fixed income..and it barely supports my 1year old!..go for it dude!
the first 12 weeks you wont miss much...they just sleep all the time...which is a good thing so you can get what you need done! they grow fast..but you'll be home to see it after work..and im sure mom will tell you all about any changes..
having a baby/family comes all down to finances! its VERY expensive! 3hrs away isnt much at all...if it keeps your wife @ home..and your child not in daycare!
and im sure the family is willing to come help at anytime! the first 12 weeks are the easiest..nights are harder which is when you'll be there to help!
2006-07-05 16:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by mommy2savannah51405 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, aside from the part about leaving my spouse with no support, I'd consider it.
I've always thought it kind of sucks that maternity leave runs out just when your child is starting to get interactive and fun. Yeah, it's nice to spend hours staring at the new baby, and smelling that new baby smell, but they're really FUN at 4 months.
I always told my husband that I'd be happy to go right back to work, and then do my leave when HIS 12 weeks are up! But, of course, he doesn't get 12 weeks. And I had C-sections both times and couldn't go right back to work anyway.
But we're raising our kids 1200 miles away from our nearest relatives. So three hours doesn't sound so bad.
It's just the roller coaster of new baby emotions and lack of sleep that would make me hesitate...
2006-07-05 16:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by Yarro Pilz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. For the first 12 weeks of my baby's life, my dream job is to be with the baby.
2006-07-06 03:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we were in this situation when our daughter was born!my husband missed about the first 6 weeks of our daughters life due to training for work. it was hard but it was better for us in the long run because we could spend less time focusing on our finances and more time with our daughter and giving her everything she could ever need or want ,while i was able to stay home and not work-a big plus since i dont believe in daycare!
as for the moving away from family part-this is not always a bad thing-we did it and although we miss our family we are able to live our lives and start our own traditions for holidays and such.you also will appreciate them more when you do get to see them.
2006-07-05 16:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by callalily07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only 12 weeks you have the baby's entire life to spend with them, get the dream job but don't forget to make time for baby too.
2006-07-05 16:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by cutiepie81289 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋