How can a single parent raise independant, morale children for the future ?

Question

I am really fearful for the future children of this world. More and more children do not have any concerns for their actions. No concerns for the way they treat others and NO respect. So how do i raise my children not to respond or act this way. It is a constant battle, I need direction and so do alot of other single mothers. Parents need to teach their children how to behave. it is constant battle for me, with no significant other to lend me a hand. I need some real life advice. Not off the shelve answers that you cant impliment reasonable to in ones life.

Answer 1

I've seen over & over how the Bible has helped both single & 2-parent families to cope! There are many more family-oriented articles on the same Web-site -- & many more than that in print -- but these are an example of the advice & guidance that our Creator has to offer through his word, the Bible:

The Family Under Threat - Will It Survive? :
... The Family--An Emergency Case!
... The Family - A Human Necessity!
... Annual Marriages Compared with Divorces
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1998/4/1/article_01.htm

Single Parent Families Can Succeed :
... Single-Parent Families on the Rise
... The Multiple Challanges
.. A Lone but Not Alone Parent
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2002/10/8/article_01.htm

Index of Bible-based on-line articles about Families
http://www.watchtower.org/archives/index.htm#families

In print is the book: "The Secret of Family Happiness"
http://www.watchtower.org/publications/publications_available.htm

Sincerely,
"Make Sure of All things; Hold Fast to what is Fine!"
1 Thessalonians 5:21

Answer 2

I am raising two sons (15 and 12) on my own and worry about their futures too. All parents do that, not just single ones! Someone told me once that a child needs only one good parent. That has helped reassure me that I can do this alone! I'm sure you know that the main thing is to talk to your children about everything and anything. Ask questions, nag, beg, plead, lecture, praise, criticize when necessary, laugh, joke, take them to church, speak respectfully to them, get silly with them, do small special things for them, appreciate them, enjoy them for who they are and stay close to them. The fact that you are so concerned tell me that you and your children will do fine. I have always been too easy on mine, but now that they are teenagers I am having to buckle down more and it's hard. They want rules; stick to them and give consequences that fit the crime. Try not threaten to do things that you kow you won't carry out. If my older son is supposed to be home at 9 and comes in at 9:30 he is grounded for the next day only. To try to ground him for a week would be near impossible. I try to say things like, "I don't talk to you with disrespect, so I expect the same from you." walk away with dignity and mine always feel guilt and apologize. Always forgive freely and start new after an argument. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 3

My suggestion to you would be to find a good independent Baptist Church and go to it with your children, Jesus will help you in all your needs and will also help the children. You will find the church to be very helpful also. Good luck and God Bless, Single parents are special.

Answer 4

As a single mother, I found this essay inspiring. It's called "The Meanest Mother In The World."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also. But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute.... Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate.... And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed....

She forced us to grow up into God fearing, educated, honest adults. Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

written by Bobbie Pingaro (1967)

Answer 5

Discipline them but not too much because you might hurt your feelings.Be patient they might not understand you at first but later they will realize what the things that you said to them is just for their own good.Show them examples of your`s that they will follow and will guide them.Teach them how to be good to other person and how to be a good people of the community.Always remember that parents just thinking the own of his children not to harm them.so good luck and god bless!

Answer 6

i have been into your shoes... i raised my children alone... three of them... and i dont have any fear because they are now all grown and very well good citizens of our country... just be truthful to them and instill the good values of a family... lot of prayers can be of great help too... dont worry... you can survive it