sometimes i feel that my fiance do not love me do i suppose to feel this way or is it cold feet? i feel that he is hiding something from me. this man is the love of my life i am so in love with him but some things that he do gets on my nerves and i just want to hurt him at times but i look at the good things and it makes me love him more how do i know if he feel the same?PLEASE HELP ME!
2006-07-05 15:20:11 · 16 answers · asked by danielle5213 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
These things are usually remedied the old fashioned way by two people sitting down and having a heart-to-heart talk. It's a basic method, but there's no substitute for just talking to each other and asking the hard questions, and trying to communicate and be as forthcoming as possible. Anything else would be mere guesswork.
2006-07-05 15:30:35 · answer #1 · answered by nothing 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No one is perfect. Everone has things they do that can drive you crazy. I'm sure he feels the same about you concerning some things.
What makes you think he doesn't love you? What has he said or done that makes you think this? Legitimate reasons, or imagined ones on your part? Cold feet is common, if it wasn't it wouldn't have a name.
Figure out whether you love him and can work thru the issues you have with the things he does. Don't count on him changing after you get married. The people you marry, you should marry because you love them, not the person you think you can change them into...that never works.
Just remember, marriage is a large issue, there will be bad times, there will be issues that come up. If it were all good stuff, why would the vows say, 'in good times and bad, thru sickness and health' ?
You have to be willing to talk to him, to love him, and to work thru things...and he needs to feel the same.
So start now..talk to him.
2006-07-05 15:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by jimmy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would question any relationship where you feel that "you just want to hurt him at times". If you feel this way now during your engagement, when things are supposed to be romantic, wonderful and exciting, how are you going to feel when you finally marry and reality sets in? Being married to someone, anyone, can be gritty, annoying, infuriating, and difficult--as well as loving, comforting, and full of happiness. The time to talk about the things that are bothering you is now, before you get married. And if you have doubts that he loves you, then there is either a trust issue between you or you are not ready to get married.
2006-07-05 15:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by besoseda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows what is up with him? It could all be in your head. He could feel the same way, who knows?
I have no idea what he does that makes you want to hurt him, but if you are banking on him changing, you are wrong. There's an old saying that goes something like, "a husband was made by his mom and God and no one is going to change him."
In a close relationship, you are going to get to know the best and worst of someone. Often times, spouses tend to bring out the best and worst of their partners, sounds like you are no different.
Good Luck! I will tell you that questioning his behaviors, thoughts, motivations, likewise, questioning your own without expressing to him your feelings will get you no where good! Talk to each other, and whatever you do, don't get married until you know for sure. Just because you are engaged, have a date set, made plans, whatever, doesn't mean you cant put them off till times are right. Trust me, divorce is much more painful, difficult, etc. than putting off or calling off a wedding.
2006-07-05 16:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is ANY doubt in your mind about this guy, then DON'T marry him! If you can't accept him EXACTLY THE WAY HE IS, then you'll be miserable being married to him! Are you typically suspicious of people, or has he given you a reason to be suspicious of him? The things he does that get on your nerves--ask yourself, "How important will it be 10 years from now?" If you can live with it, FINE. If not, you'd better look for someone else you can trust!
2006-07-05 15:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by Susan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are in the same situation. Probably your fiance is up to something that you don't know but you have to find out before its too late. Do some investigation like I did and you will find the answer to your question ad doubts. Its not easy to accept the fact but sooner or later you will see the light and 2 wrong doesn't make it right.
2006-07-05 15:34:51 · answer #6 · answered by asian_gal_from_socal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and lay it out on the line. if you feel he is hiding something from you he probably is. i know from experience on many different types of secrets. if it really bothers you that bad, follow him from time to time or call him up at work once in a while to see if he's there. tell him how you feel so he knows you might be having doubts and try to fix them before the wedding. ask him how he feels. he may feel like you are hiding something. you will never know if you don't ask .........but if he's a jerk he will lie.......on the brighter side of things, my husband drives me crazy sometimes (alot) we have had our big share of problems. i have had doubts about marrying him before and it is ok. after all forever is a very ling time and don't commit unless you are sure he is the right one cause like someone else said if you are unhappy it will be nothing but heartache for the rest of your life. if you have serious doubts save yourself a lot of money and don't get married.
2006-07-05 15:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by marie_angel01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this can happen when you have been in a relationship for a while it could be you two are stuck in a rut ,like kind of gotton comfortable with each other,you need to realiven the relationship alittle and take aback seat and let him know that you still want to have fun with him,try new things with him suprise him every now and then,reliven the relationship and see if this works it could be just that you two have been together so long that you do the ususal things and nothing new to excite each other and the relationship dont forget the one main thing is the two of you what keeps you two together it is your relationship
2006-07-05 15:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And, he is the love of your life why? This sounds disfunctional to me? I bet you are one of those people in love for the first second or third time? No? You are so silly. People should really be dating and being in love, as well as out of love for years-maybe til their thirties. This way you really have a correct notion of love and what it means to you. If you did this you wouldn't be asking questions to strangers on the internet. Split up. Date others. Learn about yourself and others. Take it slow. You are not ready to marry or even to be engaged. Quit being a little girl.
2006-07-05 15:28:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the case of clear and presence danger!
You already have issues about self- fulfillment from your fiancee?
Can you guarantee he would change for you after you marry him?
Doubt means NO! In addition, you already hurt to hurt him. This is not good for a start! The love you have now for him is just nothing but great expectations in order for you to make it to the aisle.
2006-07-05 15:35:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋