How do you understand your spouse better when you do all you can for them, you spoil n they r still not happy.

Answer 1

i am on the side that is spoiled and still not happy. All i can tell you is that (for me, anyway) i am married to the wrong guy. He has been trying to buy my love for almost 5 years, and it has just made me not care even more. We married for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time in our lives and are simply not good together, and will never be. We will be separating as soon as finances allow, but plan to remain friends, as we do care about one another, but we were never in love. Lots of lessons learned, the hard way, as usual.

Answer 2

Yeah, positive reinforcement for negative behavior always works! Sorry for the sarcasm, but you may be enabling her. She may be depressed. What you consider spoiling she may not. Communication is the hardest thing, but is the only thing that works. She may be suffering from depression. I agree that people need to find happiness within themselves and cannot rely on others for this. You need to accept that you cannot "make everything better." Just be there for her if she wants to talk. Then again, maybe you are doing too much for her and this can lead to her taking advantage or it can lead to her feeling she doesn't deserve it and make her feel guilty which she winds up taking out on you. I am not saying to be mean to her or selfish, but at some point you have to consider yourself and be your own person not her lackey. Again, there are any number of possible reasons, but only she truly knows. Try communicating in a non-confrontational way (don't make her feel like an ungrateful *****). Maybe say, "I know you don't mean it this way but when you _(insert example)__, I feel _____." Tell her how you feel and what you need and ask how she feels and what she needs. Take into consideration what people often realize that what they thought they wanted isn't really what they wanted/needed when they get it and keep re-evaluating and keep talking. Best wishes.

Answer 3

It don't take a lot of money to make a woman happy, Its the little thing that mean the most, like telling her I love you, roses for no reason, put the kids to bed early so the two of you can curl up on the couch for a good movie. Take walks and just talk, call her in the middle of the day for no reason. If you notice that she is wearing a new outfit or perfume let he know that you like it, If you know she is really tired offer to do dishes.

Answer 4

Happiness comes within! Whats in your spouses heart? Is it material? That's what spoiled is,material things.Some of us are spoiled spiritually. Your spouse is not happy with his/her self and until they plug into (SELF)you are in for a rough road.Communication is a key to finding out whats going on.Is it something they wanted to do and have not achieved it?Is it someone they wanted to patten their self after and are still the same?Remember you are not the reason if you are doing what you say. THEY MUST FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN.

Answer 5

Happiness is a state of mind. Have a medical checkup done as a chemical imbalance in the body can cause severe depression and yaddah. Human beings are strange creatures at the best. Men understanding women and vice versa is stranger still.

Answer 6

It is possible that what you consider spoiling her isn't what she needs. She is probably thinking, if he can do that, then why can't he do this?
She might not be happy for many reasons.
Ask her what you can do to help her.
Some women have learned to be grouchie and they need to stop and see how their voice sounds or how their nagging feels.

Tell her you are ready to work on it, but she needs to work on it too.

Some say that we are only responsible for our own happiness. Sounds like she needs to make some choices in order to have a happier life.

Answer 7

look at it this way.......

Any man can put a roof over her head, put clothes on her back, and food in her stomach.

But NOT EVERY MAN can show her real love.

In other words she may not be wanting to be spoiled by clothes and gifts, maybe she wants to be spoiled with love, cuddling and emotion.

Answer 8

money isn't the answer...u gotta show that u love the person u gotta show that u care....its beta ta spend tyme wid one then to give one all the money in the whole.....the person will still laugh at ur corny jokes...if u kno its corny and the person still laughs...the person is having a good time

Answer 9

Just because you're doing "all that you can do" doesn't mean what you're doing makes her happy...have you ever thought about ASKING her what would make her happy?

Answer 10

You needn't understand them, you simply love them.