what would you do? I know everyone says they'd leave him...but would you really? (No mine's not cheating...just wondering.)
2006-07-05 15:08:23 · 22 answers · asked by BuffyFan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW... Someone finally asks the right question...
I've thought about this myself... although my 1st instincts would be to leave him, I think I'd have to take the relationship in its entirety into account.
Like was this just a one time thing, does he seem to truly be sorry, things like that would help me determine what I'd actually do if I were in that situation.
2006-07-05 15:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by PROMISCUOUS SEDUCTION 3 · 15⤊ 2⤋
Why wouldn't someone leave? What component of marriage is more important than the trust part? If the trust part is lost, then how can you be sure that anything else is based on any truth?
I still love him... but does he love you? Obviously not enough because he cheated.
What about the children? What about the children, they will still be yours no matter what. Do you think he cared about the children and the consequences of his action?
He won't do it again. How do you know? He did it once, if you forgive, that's a free pass to do it again.
We can work it out. How do you know? What is more important than trust?
It's insecure women with no self esteem or value for themselves that would stay with a man that cheats. I have in a way cornered myself into a situation which I would not dare to cheat because I know that I've married a strong woman that would leave me in a second if she found out I cheated and that's my control valve. Knowing that if I ever make that stupid move, I will lose everything.
2006-07-05 22:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by DarthFangNutts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating once or twice or spends all of his time chasing tail and very little chasing you? If he is emotionally gone from the marriage, cheating is a substitute for a relationship with you. An occasional cheat, while deplorable and inexcusable, doesn't mean the marriage is dead. Sometimes, a spouse behaves very immaturely. That isn't the same as full-fledged adultery. Marriage takes up a lot of energy and commitment. Cheating means you aren't doing that. Being stupid on a weekend out of town means you were really stupid and should be horse whipped. A marriage is a terrible thing to waste ... don't do it if you can find another way.
2006-07-05 22:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since I did catch my husband cheating I called him on the carpet. Made him admit it to my face. Then served him with divorce papers the next day. As I believe that for any relationship to exist there must always be a mutual respect between parties and since I personally would never cheat on my husband expect the same in return from him. It is only fair and right as if I remember correctly the vows you give on your wedding day are pretty much black and white. Such as that you both promise to be faithful, but only if I don't find some hot chick I want to bang. So to speak... Just my personal opinion no statistics here.
2006-07-05 22:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by ruthe14me1966 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be painfully honest, I haven't seen him physically cheating on me. But he might as well be with all of the things that he has done to me. It's just been one thing after another. I do believe in second chances because I feel that I would like to be treated the same way but I have put up with so much stuff that it's just not worth it for me anymore. I just hate the way I feel because no matter how many times I have said that I am not happy.... no changes occur. I just wish he would leave. But even with that he doesn't have the balls to do it. He would rather that I leave with the 2 kids.
2006-07-05 22:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by laylamami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man, I would freak the f out!!! No joke! I think cheating is the worst thing, especially since if you really want someone else give me the freakin option to say go ahead or bring your friend. LIfe is too short to be a dog, man.
Would I leave... I would really want to!, Would I go cheat too? I would really want to? It totally depends on the situation, but the thing is I would never ever trust him again, so if I didn't leave he would probably leave me in the end since I would be so paranoid and nagging where were you...
2006-07-05 22:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by Carmalee F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely would leave him. No question in my mind. I've never stayed with a guy that wasn't faithful, and I never will. I don't want to sit around all the time wondering where my husband is and what he's doing. Why waste my life away with worry?
2006-07-05 22:29:29 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can actually say how you would react, unless it happens. I always thought I would throw him out and that would be that. After 20 years of marriage, 3kids...and a one-night stand (5 minutes)..I found out all the information...and my heart said to give him a second chance. Sometimes we screw up and we want forgiveness. Atleast if you try, you know you did what you could. If you don't, you'll never know. Every case is individual so you just never know!
2006-07-05 22:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, my x husband cheated on me, then left to be with her.. prior to all of this me and some friends had just recently talked about what we'd do if we found out our man was cheating, i was quick to say kick him to the curb.. but when it actually happened to me, it wasnt quite the same.. i loved him so much i was actually wishing he'd come back, even thought about letting him have a gf if he'd just stay with me.. INSANE i know.. but that was alot of years ago im older and wiser.. If my now husband cheated on me, i would be quick to get him out of the house.. but if he wanted to work things out he'd have to prove it big time.. i mean monthssssssssss of him being faithful, and alot of kissing azz and even then i dont know if i could ever forgive him for it.. but he better walk the line, because if i even caught another woman with in 20 ft of him during the conditional period he'd be gone for good.. Its easy to say someone would be totally history, when it hasnt happened to u.. i think this time around he'd definately be out of the house and have to prove himself, because i learned the first time around that i can take care of myself and my kids and im not a scared little girl like i was the first time around..
2006-07-05 22:29:54 · answer #9 · answered by preciosa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be pissed but sex is such a minor thing compared to true love. I would try to resolve it. Figure out why he is doing it. If it is because he is love with someone else that is difficult; but if it is just because of wanting to try something new I could work that out. You have to be real about it. Lord knows I don't think about other men a lot. It gets boring after so many years.
2006-07-05 22:13:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on:
1. Who he's with
2. His reasoning
3. What's the status of our marriage? Are we newlyweds, or on the brink of divorce.
I don't condone cheating...but I believe that everyone should be "listened too."
Once again...this is just my opinion.
2006-07-05 22:20:45 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋