My husband is very quiet always has been me i could chat for hours been together for 8 years but is it time he started speaking?
2006-07-05 14:35:57 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he hasn't yet, he probably won't start.
2006-07-05 14:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by Evilest_Wendy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that since you have been married for 8 years now that there is some kind of communication, maybe not the kind that you would like but something is there. I have been married for 23 years to someone not from our country and back then hardly had any English nor could I speak his language, yet we have been married so long and have 4 kids together, our entire life styles are so extremely different, we both come from two separate worlds yet we have always been able to communicate....one way or another and continue to do so now. Communication does not have to be simply by words to be effective, have you ever heard of " actions speak louder than words?"
2006-07-05 14:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by Rocky C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some can, some can't, but:
can YOU?
are YOU happy?
really?
A good way to get into his view is to ask him how he sees the two of you in 5/10/15/20/40 years. How does it look to him? He's thought about it, trust that -- unless he's mentally challenged, he thinks more than he talks, and probably doesn't say much UNTIL he's thought about it.
BUT, and this is a big one: if you ask him about what HE thinks, about ANYTHING, and your hours of chatting aren't ALL about YOU, then you may see a HUGE change in the style in which you two communicate. Little by little, he will open up more, if it's about how he thinks, not just what you see.
THAT is the key to communication -- moderating your desire to hear with your desire to be heard...
Good Luck, and congratulations on 8 good years, may the next 8 be even better!
:)
2006-07-07 12:20:17 · answer #3 · answered by fitpro11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do his quiet ways bother you? Why only now? You've been with him for eight years. Have they been happy years?
Yes, you can have a happy relationship. People communicate without words and talking. He probably communicates with his eyes, glances, sighs, loving arms...and with the fact that he works hard and comes home to you every night.
Opposites attract. He needs you to bring sound and joy into his quiet world. You need him to listen and provide a stable, safe refuge from the world. Someplace quiet to nest.
If he does not fufill your chatting needs, find a friend. A good husband provides more than chat.
Think of all the things you love about him. :)
2006-07-05 14:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by hope03 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt it really - he won't start if he hasnt already. On the other hand, talking about something you both share, and just being honest with each other about how you would like the communication between the two of you to work, is something that you should consider working on. Think about it carefully. If you have been together for that amount of time then you should know the pro's and con's about him, and find a way around his silence/lack of communication. Maybe try something new together - a new hobby, interest, etc do something you haven never done together - its worth a try! Good Luck!
2006-07-05 14:44:16 · answer #5 · answered by no1charmerlondon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can say this from experience, I talk a lot, my husband barely talks. But I kept talking to him, finding out what he wants, and we talk together now. Does the communication just not happen or does he answer you or pays attention. If he does, try to work it out and realize that he just doesn't talk alot. If he doesn't loke to listen to you or he doesn't talk to you, there may be some hidden issues that he is dealing with. I recommend talking to a marriage councilor if the talking doesn't start soon. I have been married for 4 years now and we talk all the time, but you have been married for 8. Maybe you should try the marriage counciling. It may help but make sure he is up for it as well or it may cause some uncomfortable feelings towards you. I wish you luck.
2006-07-05 14:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by emerald_dragonwolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE YOU KOREAN? J.K
Its time...Maybe he has something bothering him about you or something that he did and feel quilty about. You need to talk to him. People can hold grudges for years!!! And never show it.
Communication is the key to make a relationship healthy! I I don;t know how you can put up with that. I would be dying inside.
Why don't you talk to him. Are you scared?
Your his wife...You kno him bette than anyone. You should be his confident. the person he should talk to.
And don;t take the : "i'm ok" as an answer...May I ask...do you sleep in the same bed?
8 years is a long time. You need to get at the bottom of this. Instead of wasting your time wondering.
2006-07-05 14:43:26 · answer #7 · answered by blah blah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-11 03:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you can't have a happy relationship without communication. If the other person doesn't speak or say you hurt me when you do this or that I like it when we go here or there how would you know. My take on that is it is utter foolish to be in a relationship without communication. It like living without air impossible hey I think you get the point.
2006-07-06 03:06:24 · answer #9 · answered by tonkster99forreel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Communication is key for a happy and long lasting relationship. Just remember to be honest as well. Do you feel something is missing? Talking about nonsense is ok once in a while and maybe good for a laugh, but communication is not limited to speech. Evaluate what you think you need to talk about. Make sure you have not gotten your answer(s) from body language and/or actions. If you feel something is missing and vocal communication is needed, you should be able to talk to him about it and he should be responsive.
2006-07-07 08:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by bizzarojames 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way you can not communicate.
Each person sends signals all the time, even a smile or a gesture is communication.
In all those 8 years you lost some interest and dont pay attention to his form of communication.
I dare say - no offense - you do the talking for the both of you.
My advice would be you stop some of your speaking and give him some room and attention to develope his :)
2006-07-05 14:40:28 · answer #11 · answered by ganja_claus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋