Actually, I'm sure she does love me, but we can't agree on anything. She thinks, I do and say the opposite to what she says. But its not true. I have 3 kids, and i don't want to think of the idea of not getting to see them as often as i do now. My wife has the nicest body, but doesn't let me touch her, she doesn't like sex, nor does she think its important. She thinks its ok to argue in public, but ignores me at home. She has banned my family 'cause she thinks they don't like her. She wants material stuff, but expects me to come up with a way to pay for things. She doesn't like when i have friends, meanwhile her sister is her best friend. She speaks spanish around her family, knowing i don't understand, and her family speaks english. I don't know what to do. We did counseling but she says its dumb and we stopped going. We never say we love each other too, not sense our 2nd year of marriage. She is always angry, i see it, and the kids do to.
2006-07-05 13:59:01 · 10 answers · asked by John Olds 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Counseling is dumb" equals "I know this is my fault and don't want to hear about it, and I don't want to fix this relationship."
"I don't like sex" equals "I don't like sex with you."
"It's okay to argue in public" equals "I like to humiliate you in public."
"I don't like it when you have friends" equals "I don't want anyone to tell you how badly I'm treating you."
She's unhappy and frustrated, and feels stuck in the marriage. For whatever reason, instead of dealing with it, she's trying to drive you off -- hoping that banning your family, humiliating you in public, denying you sex, and generally treating you with no respect will make you leave. You have kids that you love, and you love her (why?) so you won't go -- and she doesn't have the guts to be the one who breaks it off, so she won't go.
Go to the courts. Tell them you want custody of the children, but will happily support them financially if you can't get custody. Tell them about your family being banned, the public humiliation, the lack of sex, her denying you friends outside of the family, and so on. Have specific, dated references where possible. Say that she refuses to go to counseling. Don't say you hate her, don't say you want to leave her -- just say that she's made it clear you are no longer wanted, and love her and want to give her the divorce she wants...but don't want to lose your children in the process.
Good luck.
2006-07-05 14:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Is she getting medical take care of melancholy? which could be a step in the right route, and it can make a international of vast difference. have you ever tried marriage counseling? i'm sorry on your difficulty. It feels like you've been doing each and every thing you may. She needs to do not ignore that a courting won't be able to be one-sided and he or she needs to placed forth attempt also. I do not ignore that coping with melancholy (dealt with that is my relatives too) makes each and every thing two times as demanding yet she has to attempt. ensure you're taking time for your self and do issues that make you satisfied, without or with her. with somewhat of success, she will come round and also you may both be at liberty on your marriage lower back.
2016-11-01 06:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol She said the counseling was dumb because they didnt agree with her no doubt lol.. first get some backbone i know you love your wife, but she's walking all over you.. you've become her little puppet in her own little world, first of all, go see your family, their your family and as long as they respect your wife in front of her then they dont have to like her but what your wife is .. is a control freak, spoiled little girl with zero sense of what marriage is about.. she's disrespecting u all over the place.. come on be a man, that doesnt mean fighting with ur wife it means taking charge of your life and telling her theres the door if she doesnt like it.... When u really love someone u care about them and their feelings.. she obviously isnt caring about yours so what are u going to do to make her realize your not some pawn in her little game.. make her respect u.. dont be mean, just firm and stand your ground.. good luck..
2006-07-05 14:15:11 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got alot on your plate. What qualities drew you to her in the first place? Is she still that person or did she change? Is she healthy or does she have something medical that could be wrong? Is she using drugs or alcohol? You may need to consider a temporary separation to see if she wants to work on the relationship or just wants out. What do you want? Time for you to think about that, nice body or not.
2006-07-05 14:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has some issues to deal with. I would bet she found the counseling "dumb" just as the counselor was getting close to her nerve... the real issue behind her behavior. You need to get her back into counseling. She may need to go alone if she is unable to discuss what is troubling her in front of you.
2006-07-05 14:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by Annette R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS BUT BUDDY SHE DO NT LOVE OR RESPECT YOU AND WITH THE LITTLE BIT OF INFO YOU GAVE US I THINK SHE IS SETTING UP FOR THE SEPARATION.I BET SHE GOES OUT OF HER WAY TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE THE BAD GUY.GET READY IT IS COMING THE REASON SHE IS SPEAKING ANOTHER LANGUAGE IS OBVIOUS SHE DO NT WANT YOU TO KNOW WHAT SHE IS SAYING.RECORD HER NEXT TIME AND TAKE IT TO SOME ONE THAT WILL TELL YOU WHAT SHE SAYS.HER WANTING THE MATERIAL STUFF MEANS ALOT MORE TO TAKE IT WILL ALL BE CONSIDERED A GIFT.YOU WILL BE LUCKY TO GET OUT WITH THE CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK.I KNOW YOU DONT BELIEVE ME BUT I CAN SEE THINGS THAT OTHERS DON'T.WATCH YOU BACK.DONT LET HER DOWN YOU IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.THAT IS COMING NEXT IF IT HASN'T ALREADY..
2006-07-05 14:17:26 · answer #6 · answered by susan w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person truly love you, she will respect you and your family no matter how your parents treated her. I think she love money more than she love you. If one day you got no money, she will leave you. I wonder why you want to tolerate all these, maybe you are truly love her or because of your kids.
2006-07-05 14:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's messed up... it doesn't sound like she loves you but believe it or not there are allot of marriages like this... women can be scandalous sometimes...I know that type of woman very well...you gave her to much control how could she bar YOUR family out of YOUR house ? Your family probably doesn't like her because shes a (excuse me for this) B*tch their not in love with her so they can see what you cant...love is blind...
2006-07-05 14:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theaten to go. See what she says and prepare for the consequences. Before you act, have a plan. And good luck. No one deserves to be unhappy.
2006-07-05 14:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by noitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your kids and leave her.
Find the most viscious divorce lawyer and start your life over.
2006-07-05 14:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Winter_Decay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋