my new boyfriend wants me to move in with him should i?

Question

Ok heres the situation, i met this guy in the apartments i live in. His sister lives right across the street from my townhome im renting. He is such a nice guy and we have soo much in common but he is 42 yrs old and im only 28 yrs old. We are both going through divorce court but he was actually married and im just fighting with my ex boyfriend over custody and visitation issues. He tells me that he likes me alot and that he wants to take care of me and my two boys that i have from another relationship. He makes good money because his income is about $1200 a week and he owns a nice home which has two extra bedrooms that my two boys could occupy. I was thinking of moving in with him because im struggling right now as a single mother paying bills and rent and trying to buy extra stuff for the house and for the kids my income is ssi afdc and child support totaling at $1400 a month and rent is only $340 a month because i have section 8. should i move in w/ him he says he just wants to see

he says he misses how his ex wife would feel in bed and he needs to cuddle a woman at night and he wants to come home from a hard days work to a beautiful woman and he wants me to be there for him also he wants the home cooked meals again. he wants a woman's touch around the house too because his wife rather cheat on him and smoke crack then be with him and his kids are big one is 22 yrs old and the other is 15 yrs old but he says that the older one's in college living on campus and the 15 yr old is hardly ever there and he spends most of his time in my apartment complex at his sisters apartment because he is lonely and needs to be around people. i've only known him for a month in a half but he is already wanting me to move in w/him his house is really nice with a big backyard for my boys im soooo tempted to do it. he asked his older sister and she was like no! don't do it i think she should mind her own business... i like him so much too and he is the only guy that has ever had so muc

Answer 1

I understand your dilema i was a struggling single mom for many years as well, but how well do u really know this guy?? remember although financially he may be a walk in the park , if you dont know him very well he could be a nightmare and your children ultimately pay the price of the men you choose to keep under the same roof with them.. stop seeing dollar signs and start seeing if he's worth putting your kids in this situation and if it doesnt work out in 2 months do u have a back up plan or would u and your kids be out on the street.. ??????? Make sure your making the right choice for your kids..

Answer 2

Live alone long enough to settle the custody and visitation issues that you and your ex-boyfriend are going through, first. Wait until this man's divorce is final. He may have to pay alimony or child support to his ex-wife if they had children. Do not move in with any man while he is still married to someone else and subject your two boys to this unstable situation. If this man's sister is living across from your town home, that could create a negative situation if this relationship did not work out. Later, after the two court cases are settled, you could go out with him a while to see if the two of you are really compatible but do not use this man as a ticket to a better house for your boys because it would be more devastating to you and to them if it did not work. Build your own resources right now.

Answer 3

woman you are getting in way over your head. Do you realize what your saying? you have kids to take care of. I know its hard girl because Im a single mother of 2 also but to me this sounds like he has other motives here. If he really likes you then what is his rush? can't he let things move slow and let nature take its course. And it sounds bad to me because if he is just coming from a divorce dont you think he would like to take time to make sure its right before jumping into things with you? He is trying to win you over with his money thats all but for what? a piece of young a*s guaranteed to always be in bed waiting for him. Girl wake up focus on the kids you can do this on your own. Tell him you want to take it slow and if he loves you he will understand. Maybe he could help you out without you having to move in with him. Just remember whatever you decide you have 2 kids that have to live with your decision. good luck girl! you barely know this man get to know him first and let him get to know you if its real love time is not an issue because true love only grows stonger and if its not then at least you will know before making such a drastic move.

Answer 4

i think you should wait right now everything is fine and dandy but once you move in with him it will change .eventually especialy if you got 2 kids no man i dont care who he is or tells you he will never treat or love your kids like his own and pretty soon he is going to tell your kids things as far as disipline and you are not going to like it and vise versa if he has kids .you are doing good on your own your rent sounds reasonable your doing good with what income you are getting be strong cause if it dont work out its going to be hard for you to get settled again on your own so stay put girl you can do .it happen to a few people i know and my self it was the biggest mistake i ever made just have a casual relationship and each of you go home and sleep its better that way good luck

Answer 5

Look it depends how long you have been together. You should keep it slow paced for now remember you both are going through a divorce right now. If he wants to be with you he will wait for you. Move slow to when you decide. You know you could also let your boys stay there a couple of nights to and make sure they are going to like it there and they get treated right to by this man. Good Luck

Answer 6

ok well i think that you should find someone that is more your own age, guys at that age that are getting divorces have been doiong something wrong for a long time, and men at that age are already set in thier ways, wich means you have a high chance of going threw the same thing with him that his ex wife went threw with him. becides when people are getting divorces and going threw things like you are, it is a good time to prioritize your life and get the most important things done, and then decide after all of that to start dating again. or you are just going to bring that kind of stuff into that new relationship, i would not move in with this guy and i would not think twice about him again. good luck.

Answer 7

DON'T RUSH. It sounds like what he wants is a maid and someone to have sex with, at least it sounds that way to me. He NEEDS to learn to live on his own for awhile. If he doesn't, then he won't do well in a relationship. Do you really want to move in with someone on the rebound from a relationship and that is in a divorce? I made this mistake once myself, and once the guy was divorced, he wanted nothing to do with me. He wanted to have his fun with other women and not have to support me. This guy needs to have time to 'play the field' and figure out exactly who he is and what he wants.

It is way toooooooooo soon for the two of you to move in together. At least I feel it is. 1 1/2 months isn't enough time to really know someone, to really know what they will be like with you, your kids, etc. You do have your kids to think about. How would it make them feel to be in this guys house, then he decides that he doesn't want you there anymore, or he cheats on you and you need to move out. I know it is a struggle to make it on your own, but you really need to think about what will happen in the long run with this guy, your kids, and a relationship with you and this guy. I would, personally, take time to get to know him--in your own place. If he wants to give you money to help you out, then fine. He can do what he wants with his money. Just because he makes that much money and owns his own home doesn't mean that he is great with his money either. I would, if I were you, be very, very careful. I know what it feels like to want and need to have more money to make it, especially with kids involved, and to want companionship after a divorce/break up. I know what a new relationship feels like. The slower the relationship goes, the better off everyone involved will be. Give it a few months. If, after that time, the two of you still want to move in together, then go ahead. I would just hate to see you have to move out because you took it too fast or something happened because you guys didn't get to know each other well enough.

This is totally up to you, but these are the things I would do.

Answer 8

Look I'm a guy and i see not too early. Wait until the relationship is far a deep. You should be able to trust him completely with your life. Ensure that you know every thing you can about him. Then do what your heart says but I dont recomend you living with him. No offence. PEACE OUT

Answer 9

First thing he sounds like he can be controlling and all he wants is a slave, rather it be for sex or just doing the household chores. Also how long have yo guys been dating and how serious is the relationship? The most important thing is how do your kids feel about this. Financially it might be worth it but emotionally, I don't know.

Answer 10

If you are doing things on your own, I say stay that way. He sounds like he likes the idea of a woman and a family, but things may change once the reality sets in. Wait it out and see if he really wants this relationship.