He says one day he wants to get married to me and have children just not right now. I am ready now. I feel almost desperate and I can't get it off my mind. How do I handle this?
2006-07-05 13:16:01 · 16 answers · asked by rascal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I love him very much and really want to be with him. I know the best thing would be to wait but I can't seem to get it off my mind.
2006-07-05 13:49:05 · update #1
What is running away? Take your time and enjoy your life because once you have kids things will change as you won't have any free time.
2006-07-05 13:19:33 · answer #1 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take a good look and ask yourself why you are so desperate to have a baby. Do you feel like you are having needs that are not being met? Too many people are in a rush to have babies because they want to have someone love them unconditionally and fulfill a need not being met.
Why don't you consider getting a pet together? It may sound funny, but adding a dog or a cat will bring you together like a family and you each will see how the other would be as a parent without actually going through with it.
Also, think about his reasons for not wanting to be a parent right now. Having a baby is a big responsibility and maybe he wants to save up some money first. You have to remember though, a baby (and the family) will have the happiest times when both parents sincerely want to start the family.
2006-07-05 13:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by annabanana4883 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met my husband 13 years ago... June we met, and August we were married.. we now have 3 boys. I wouldn't trade them for the world, but there is never any us time anymore... it' called real life... My advice to you is to slow down and enjoy your boyfriend and your time a little more. And in all honesty, I really think you and he should be married. Once you have kids, life changes drastically. Even with one. Try working at a daycare... you will be with kids. Maybe a nursery at a church or something. They're special and wonderful and you will love them dearly when they get here, but there will always be a small piece of you that you lose in the process...
2006-07-05 13:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by Angelrebel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you should start with is how long do you want to wait for? If you both want a future together then this shouldn't be an issue. But if you know in your heart you want to start now and he doesn't then you need to discuss with him other options. There is one other scenario and it's he might be talking with multiple women and just doesn't want to settle for one right now. Try talking with him on the first one. It might be the best answer.
2006-07-05 13:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jacob B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just think your hormones are screaming at you. There is a time and place for children and what an awesome responsibility it is raising a child for 18 years. My daughter felt the same way as you and she got a Puppy, now she has 3 dogs,is 25, still single and feeling good about her decision.
2006-07-05 13:25:42 · answer #5 · answered by tattiehoker54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself why you're so desperate to want a child. Don't become a statistic. Two people should not have a child until the two of you are both ready. Women think that this their only power, only for it to backfire on them once the trust is gone. Honey, trust me, you cannot trap a man ... it's alot easier to write a check for child support than it is to have a lifetime responsibility of raising a child. It's your call ...
2006-07-05 13:23:14 · answer #6 · answered by TCBgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you and him want different things right now 23 is really young to have kids so i understand where he is coming from .if you love him then wait till he wants to dont try and pressure him it will only make him do something he really isnt ready to do and it will just make him a bad father .if you cant wait then i think you should just move on and find someone thats wants to start a family right now
2006-07-05 13:21:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you're older, marry the guy first, and make sure he is really the person you want forever and ever. Sorry, but I've been there and I had the kid, and let me tell you-- you're YOUNG, and even if you think you're "mature" for your age, you're not. Don't put a child in this situation.
2006-07-05 13:33:40 · answer #8 · answered by Amy R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 1/2 years is nothing in a long run. Trust me! Enjoy your life now, having a baby and marriage changes everything! You can't rush him, and shouldn't rush yourself. Take time to really, really get to know each other.
2006-07-05 13:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by Arr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are only 23.... get married and make sure he's right before you have kids and have that bond forever.
from my experience, people change and 2.5 years isn't THAT long... don't rush into anything. especially if he's not ready--you'll be forcing him and you might both regret it in the future. what's your rush? you're only 23. just my opinion
2006-07-05 13:20:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him," I'm also ready to get engaged..." And then if he says he's not ready to get engaged then say that you feel like since you have such a loveing relationship then tell him that you want this t be permanent and last and develop into a family.
2006-07-05 13:24:23 · answer #11 · answered by Katie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋