Bisexuality?

Question

Okay, I am gay and I have a partner... no issue there.

I have a dear old friend, however, that has been a "bisexual" for about 10 years now.

His problem is that he can only "love" women, but is only sexually attracted to men!

He confessed to me one time that his girlfriend once accused him of being gay because he had not had sex with her in over a year. He grudgingly gave in and cried afterwards he hated it so much (and this is a masculine guy!)!

So, what advice do you give to a person that only "loves" women, but can only get sexually satisfied by sleeping with men? If he were younger, I would simply tell him to give it time and things would work out, but this has been going on for nearly a decade now!! Someone... any advice?

The way things are now, I really don't see him finding happiness with a guy or a girl....... and that's a shame because he is very attractive and has a great personality.

Answer 1

get married to a woman and love her, then have sex with men, its easy.....

Answer 2

I even have met some bisexuals that have been 50/50 . i'm bisexual and that i do unlike 3somes does that mean i'm much less bisexual . No i'm nonetheless involved in male and girls persons . merely because of the fact i'm bisexaul does it mean that I ought to have intercourse with a guy and a woman on an identical time . Or i could not be happy with a man or woman of an identical intercourse or the different intercourse .

Answer 3

Point blank you better find and have an open marriage or its curtains for him! No women is going to not have sex and stay monogamous. Actually nobody in their right mind would. There are women who have no problems with having a relationship like that, they will just going to have to go to the Alternative Lifestyles to find a relationship like that when searching the singles adds. Life is only as bad as you make, it can be done and I'm sure many people have done this before.

Answer 4

It's possible that he only appreciates the asthetic beauty of a woman, but is sexually charged with a man. Perhaps it is an identity crisis, ie...born in the wrong body? There is nothing you can do except love and accept him for who he is and who he loves. Like me, perhaps want he wants out of life is not in this life at all. Provide him with a safe place. Comfort & security is happiness.

Answer 5

Maybe he is too scared to be able to enjoy any real love. Older ppl. that grew up in an even more homophobic environment than exist today have a harder time. I have had to live almost my entire life in a hostile environment. I am 42 years old. I live in east Texas. What have I become.

Answer 6

I would tell him to find himself a girl as a friend and be honest with her. He can always love her and he can still be sexually active with guys. But first they need to come to an agreement so that neather gets hurt. In other words there would never be a relationship that would work out a hundred percent but he would be happier with himself.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like if he's bisexual then he leans heavily to the gay side of the scale. He'll love women because he can relate to them but he'll crave men for passion and release.

Sounds crass of me, I know, but I'd suggest his best hope is to cruise men and have a "f@g hag" best friend. If he genuinely can't reconcile himself to having a long term relationship with a man - it's all I can think of, sorry.

Answer 8

I'd ask him if he's truly bisexual, or is he gay. If he's only satisfied by guys then he's gay. Maybe he's saying he's bisexual because he doesn't want to face that he's gay, or there might be bigger social problems if he's gay. I'd suggest he talk to a therapist to work through what he's feeling. I'm not saying he's crazy or anything, it'd just be a non-biased person that he could talk things through. It might be a bigger problem, who knows except him.

Answer 9

I would do what seems right. Or just not be sexually fulfilled, what is more important in life? Sex or love. If you choose sex than thats a bad answer. Sex will not always be there. What? with all the stds going around, especially bisexual sex. Its even more risky, according to news reports. I would marry a woman and seek counseling from a pastor. He obviously needs fulfillment in other ways than sex and love. He needs to love himself.

Answer 10

It sounds like he has some problems. No matter what your orientation is, not being able to fall in love with those you are attracted to, and vice a versa, is unhealthy behavior. It would really do him some good to see a therapist, even if it's just to talk through his past relationships, etc.

Answer 11

He needs to come to terms with the fact that he is straight. What matters is that in his heart, he can only love women. The soul is willing, but the flesh is weak.