Giving lesbians a bad name?

Question

I have a friend who never thought about being with a woman then after she met me (I'm a lesbian) and some of my friends she started experimenting with women and has since called herself bi but I feel like she is just doing it because its the new hot thing to do and it brings her attention. I'm offended becaus eI feel like she is playing games with something that is very important to me. How do you feel about that LGBT community?

Answer 1

A lot of girls are claiming to be bi these days just because they like the attention they get from boys because of it... its annoying.

Answer 2

Maybe you opened the door of Bisexuality to her? Why would that be a bad thing, if she really does consider both sexes as a relationship option. I never thought I would be bi, until I fell in love wih my best girl friend. Ever since then, I have always considered girls as well.

Or if you think, she is just flaunting her first experiences with a woman too much, tell her it offends you. It also offends the true bisexuals (like myself) who really enjoy both sexes for different reasons.

You should ask her why; she now considers herself bi! Then explain yourself.

Answer 3

It's hard to say... my best friend and I neither ever thought about being with a woman until we fell in love with each other. After our relationship ended, I tried to be with guys again, but realized that I much prefer women. She is now back with a guy, but is confused over whether that's what she really wants or not. I think it's hard for a lot of people who feel pressure to be straight and are really not. It also just may be that she's curious about what it's like to be with a woman, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt until she gives you a reason to believe otherwise.

Answer 4

I feel like people who are "choosing" to be bi or gay make it a lot harder for those of us who just "are" and aren't making the choice in some cases - like in the case of convincing those people and organizations that think they can conform or teach you to "choose" to not to be gay that being gay really isn't a choice. I mean, how can you stop people like that if there are so many people out there who can, and probably will at some point in their lives just "choose" to turn the gay/bi thing off. In this particular day and time I think people like that are making things more difficult.

That said, I don't really think there is much more we (gay people who are not "choosing") should say about it. I mean, its not their fault society won't let them experiment, live in the moment, and be who they want to be. We're asking for most of those same things for ourselves.

Oh, and your friend - I think she likes you.

Answer 5

I think sexuality is a spectrum. Bi people are simply more in the middle. If she's enjoying herself, isn't that the important thing? Everyone should try to maintain an open mind!

Answer 6

I think that it is really her own decision. But when I was a freshaman, I knew I was a lesbian, but everyone was saying they were bisexual and so I thought if I came out that people would think it was a trend. So I was scared people would accuse me of lying, just like you are partially accusing your friend. If I were you, I would feel weird also, but try and allow your friend to make her own decisions, or maybe try and talk about it, and see what her true feelings are.

And hey! Who could blame her? Women are hot! ;-)

Answer 7

I think people have the right to experiment and i don't understand how it could possibly offend you....its great that you are proud of your sexuality but by being so offended that's what gives lesbians a bad name.....people don't have to be straight or gay...they are allowed to be in between.

Answer 8

I feel its degrading to the gay community. You kiss a girl then the next day your 'bi' or lesbian. unfortunatley alot of girls do it, only to throw away the gay culture when theys ettle down with a man that fuffils their desires. Being gay isnt something you throwaway. either you are or youre not. but girls these days like to throw it around for fun. One day their bi then theyre straight again. only to be bi 3 months later. its a shame and im sorry that people like that ruin your community.

Answer 9

Bisexuality is always a strange issue...

Remember, though, that she has to have at least SOME underlying homosexual feelings to even experiment.

Also, apparently she liked her first time because she is still doing it, right?

I would say that you should just deal with her for now. Just deal with her like we deal with "bear cubs," "transgendered" persons, crossdressers, drag queens, swingers, and others in our GLBT communities. We might not always agree with what they do, but often times we are the only segment of society that will embrace them.

I personally do not even believe in bisexuality... but I accept those that claim to be bisexuals as part of my GLBT community because I know that they may not be welcome elsewhere.

Either way, I doubt your friend is just "playing."

Answer 10

Is it possible that she really is bi? Some people don't discover their true orientation until later in life and it can take being around people like you to bring it out. If she really isn't and is just posing because it's popular, that's bad and I find it offensive to those of us really dealing with it.