Me and my husband have talk about this issue a lot of times. We decided, if he wanted to watch porn we would watch it together. I found out that he is still doing it behind my back. What can I do????????
2006-07-05 12:44:22 · 17 answers · asked by **What??** 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't worry, he will stop when he realizes how serious it is. Yeah, he probably was in to the visual eye candy back when he wasn't getting any sex by any girl, but now that he finally has a woman who gives him some every day, he should come to his sences. Just forget about it, keep checking stuff to make sure he has quit for real, and keep giving him the goods. He's just gonna have to realize the difference between fantasy and Projection Reality.
2006-07-07 01:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
Is porn addiction real? Yes.
However, keep in mind that there are other reasons to keep porn activity secret. Here are a few:
Some of the attraction to porn is the illicit nature of it; it's fun to have a secret, especially with something as potentially embarrasing as the type of porn he likes. Suppose there's something you really find disgusting, and he really likes? He might avoid the subject with you, because he doesn't want you to (a) feel pressured, or (b) feel like he won't find you attractive unless you do it, but he still has an attraction. The answer? Porn in private!
Some guys -- and girls -- just aren't particularly comfortable when it comes to revealing their deepest desires. Some are, and they can watch or do things in front of their partner that other guys won't even watch on videotape while alone. He could simply be too shy to enjoy porn with you around; porn and sex are not the same thing, after all, and he can be comfortable doing one without doing the other.
He may not trust you enough to understand that porn he watches does not automatically equal women he desires, at least beyond a quick "entertainment session". Suppose one day, just for fun, he wants to fantasize about a woman who is completely different from you physically. Does that mean he wishes you were like that? No, but lots of women think that it does. He might want to avoid all that hassle.
At the end of the day, judge it like this: is his activity interfering with your sex life? Is it taking up a ridiculous amount of his time? If no and no, then he's probably not addicted.
Still, it bothers you, probably because he's hiding it. Why don't you be up-front about it? Say "look, I understand that a lot of the time, porn is only fun when it's private. I'm cool with that. But once and a while, can we watch it together?" That'll let him know it's cool with you, and so he might loosen up and spend more time watching with you and less time watching alone.
Don't expect him to stop altogether, though, or to show you all of the porn he watches; every guy needs a little private porn time now and again. It's just the way we are.
2006-07-05 20:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men watch porn, it was probably something he did before meeting you and now it is a habit. Men's sex drives are higher then women's so they need to take care of business a lot more then we do. This just happens to be his way of doing that. Some men read magazines, some watch porn, some just have a good enough imagination that they don't need anything but their mind. Yelling at him about it and degrading him for doing it is not the solution, if anything it will make it worse. Just continue to watch it with him when you are in the mood to do so and let him know that you are there if he is in the mood to do something other then watch women he will never have a chance with.
If you are jealous that he is watching someone else, make a video with him for his own private viewing. I guarantee that will be the only one he will watch ever again.
Count your lucky stars he just likes watching porn, he could have been the type that cheats instead.
2006-07-05 19:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by charice266 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men are visual creatures. We don't view porn as forbidden, dirty, or a replacement to real life human contact. You asked "what can I do". Why do you have to "do" anything. Perhaps your husband agreed with your demand to view it only in your presence in an attempt to keep the peace. If the porn is costing you money that your budget cannot afford, or if he is using porn as a substitute for intimacy with you. Then perhaps you have a problem that professional counseling can help you resolve.Otherwise, if you just don't like the fact that he is viewing porn(or masturbating to it), with no other negative effects on your relationship, maybe you could chalk it up to a fundamental difference between men and women. Don't try to explain it, or change it, just learn to live with it.
2006-07-05 20:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by robert p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hon not to worry he will get tired of it soon...Must have been his first time seeing one...Bet he got them from the guys a work..You have to admit some of the are pretty darn good to watch...They can be addicting so if you feel there's a problem tell him to slow down watching...Hope he will get enough soon and get tired of watching them...Nothing wrong with telling him you don't like watching that stuff all the time...Good luck
2006-07-05 20:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is a disease. If you bring this trash in your home your home will be trashy..it's that simple. It also feeds the porn industry with $$$. Many men & women will say their is nothing wrong with porn..I always hand them my cell phone.
Now you say why????..because I ask them to call their mother and or sisters or daughters right now and tell them about your love of porn in front of me...so far no one has taken me up on my challenge.
2006-07-05 19:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to a professional. This is a big problem. You are going to have to deal with it now because porn objectifies woman and desensitizes your husband; you need professional help!
2006-07-05 19:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he doesn't feel comfortable watching it with you and by now it is probably a habit for him. You make the suggestion to watch it more often and see if it changes.
2006-07-05 19:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might be addicted to porn. Talk to him then seek professional help.
2006-07-05 19:47:09 · answer #9 · answered by qti36 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont think he's addicted its just that all guy watch porn.. i mean i bet if i look under my dads bed or sumthin ill find a tape or two... or three.. i dont think he does it to hurt u.. what can i say.. he's a MAN!
2006-07-05 19:51:55 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ĴỤiiČ¥♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋