help! how do i deal with a really smelly friend??

Question

My frend is stayin with me for 3 weeks. Since she got off the plane 5 days ago, she still hasnt taken a shower! its a 9 hr plane ride and she is really starting to smell disgusting! my mom, dad, brother, and family friends (4 of them) have all commented to me that she smells! I keep hintin that she needs to take a shower ("there wont be any time later...")("i feel so gross when i dont take a shower for 2 days")(" i sweated so much today! i smell disgusting! i NEED to take a shower"). She is very obese and sweats more than most people... I have always noticed her gross odor but just thought i should get over it + be a good frend... but now that im sharin a room with her i dont kno what to do! I have to keep the windows open so i can sleep (its really THAT bad). We have been walkin at least 3 hrs a day in the humid, hot wether. what can i do to tell her she smells bad w/out hurting her feelings? This is affecting our friendship, since i dont wanna get near her! HELP!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!

shes really obese, and hates to do exercise. i go swimming every morning and she just comes to the pool and sits at the edge.

her clothes smell awful, too. after she wears them, she sprays febreeze on them and says "im febreezing them". then she puts them straight back in the drawer! they get this awful musty smell because theyre wet when she puts them in. Ive offered numerous times to wash her clothes, but she just says "no, theyre not dirty yet. the febreeze makes them stay clean for a while". its absolutely disgusting!! this morning, i literally took her clothes from her drawers that she had "febreezed" and just stuffed them into the washing mashine. i dont want her to get mad at me while shes here cause that would just be really awkward since shes living with me. but i also cant live with that smell anymore! even when she takes a shower, her clothes still smell awful! i cant take it anymore!

Answer 1

My goodness, I answered a question like this not too long ago. Basically, I had a co-worker who was obese and smelled really bad. Everyone talked about it and finally, I was the one who had to mention it. It took me 2 years to do it.

Basically, just so you know, it's more difficult for obese people to reach certain areas if you know what i mean (when they use the restroom) and it can start to smell really horrific.

You honestly just have to mention it. But here is the best way to mention it; with some light hearted humor.

Say "hey listen, it's been a while since you got off that plane and it's hot and humid out so let's do ourselves a favor and take showers so the room doesn't start to smell ripe at night. If we don't, the bears might start to come after us". I know it sounds silly but it's doing two things: it's saying "we" instead of "you" and it's putting humor into it while getting the point across.

If she says something that suggests she won't or doesn't want to, then say "well, as a favor to me, take one cause I'm starting to detect some B.O." And just smile.

You have to do it because first of all, it's just sick and secondly, you might teach her a valuable lesson about caring for herself.

Good luck, i know it's not easy.

Answer 2

Try taking her to a swimming pool, or maybe an area pond. If that don't at least dampen the odor, suggest a makover, which includes beauty moisterizing soap. If that don't work, you realy should just tell her. She might not realize how bad it is, and you would be doing her a favor.

Answer 3

lol...it's really is a very delicate situation. i guess u should sit with her and talk to her that seriously yet be careful because body language also affects. i think u should tell her that other ppl in your family don't know her as well as u do and they r telling you things like that which hurts you because you r her friend and right now she is staying with u so it makes you feel worse the way others think about her. I'm sure if u tell her this, she'll be able to understand.

Answer 4

okay here's the solution maybe your friend is not feeling well at ease in your house just talk to her and tell her that she should feel at ease :P because you noticed that she didn't use the shower so you can give her shampoo and stuff and tell her to feel more comfortable next time by taking a shower everyday simple be kind to her she wont notice that you're stressing on the odor:P

Answer 5

Tell her a shower feels so good and refreshing that you want to share the the nice experience with her and if she doesn't listen just say that she should because it's the most fantastic thing if your stressed or hot etc...

Answer 6

Tell her to read these replies. That seems pretty diplomatic to me. If she takes offense then don't worry about it because she lacks the character to accept constructive criticism. If she has any smarts at all she will thank you for letting her know. She probably doesn't realize that she has an offensive odor about her.

Answer 7

You're going to have to sit her down and talk about it. Tell her you don't mean to hurt her, but others notice, and you wouldn't want someone else to say it in a rude way. Her feelings will be hurt, but if you say it as kindly as you can, she'll take it better. Good luck!

Answer 8

Buy her some good smelling body stuff....Then you just hafta tell her in the nicest way possible. Obviously the hinting is not working at all.
You've already got one wk under your belt. Just 2 more to go.
How bout swimming after your walk?! Candles in your shared room.........but please be very careful with those, using them ONLY when you are awake.......and in the room.

Answer 9

I wpuld say, "look,i think you really need to take a shower, you kinda smell a little. No offense." i would try that. And she can't get mad at you for being honest.

Answer 10

be assertive and say " friend you really stink" and others around you are starting to say things about it. Please take a shower or put on some perfume. although sometimes people have odor problems and can't be fixed by taking a shower.