How can I tell if my boyfriend is gay?

Question

We've been seeing each other for a while now and we've always been pretty straight in front of people, which I still am, but he's started to queen it up a little. It's kind of a turn off. I think my girlfriend is starting to suspect us. We've always had an "in the closet" agreement but now for some reason he's gaying it up in front of people.

Two things bother me...1) It's very unattractive, 2) I'm not gay but he thinks I am.

Will he ever be the sportsfan I've had fun with since college or have I lost him to the pink team?

Serious answers only please.

Sorry, I should have made my question clearer...

- I'm not gay.
- I have a boyfriend AND a girlfriend.
- My Boyfriend knows about my girlfriend, but my girlfriend doesn't know about my boyfriend

Answer 1

I have contemplated your question and have come to the conclusion that your boyfriend wants to be your girlfriend. To make sure of this, you will need to do a little experiment. You will need to get butt naked and ask him how he would feel about banging you while you watch the football game. If he gets mad that all you think about is football, then yes, he has switched to the pink team. If this is so, your best bet is to have him killed so your girlfriend doesn't find out!

Answer 2

If you are having sex with him, then you are sending mixed messages.

I'm sorry that he is not being more discreet, but I have been in the gay community a LONG TIME and know that straight guys that just "play gay" in the sack can never really have any sort of continuing relationship - with a guy or a girl.

I hate to say it, but most people end up having to choose to go one way or the other. If you love your girlfriend, I would break it off with the boyfriend. Or, do vice-versa.

Remember that heterosexuality is not a choice... homosexuality is not a choice... BISEXUALITY (more often than not) IS A CHOICE!

Sorry... I don't mean to hurt your feelings... it's just that in my life I have been in your boyfriend's shoes more than once. He may act cool on the outside, but the fact that you are having sex with him makes him think that there is a chance... either a chance that you are gay, or a chance that you will have a relationship with him.

He can't help but be who he is. You CAN, however, help him by clarifying the situation. Maybe you could just set down the ground rules, and if he doesn't like it, end it with him.

Answer 3

Have I got you right? Do you mean that this guy you horsed around with in college you've kept on as a fvckbuddy...and though you've got a girlfriend and identify as straight, he's starting to act up; as though, perhaps, he wants more than the horseplay you two have had, up until now?

I can't give you a full answer coz apart from telling us he's acting up - you haven't told us if he has a girlfriend or if there's only you.

What I can tell you is the following (and you know it already):

1) You shouldn't be fooling around behind your girlfriend's back - it aint clever as these things have a way of making themselves known

2) If he's depended on you for his fun, chances are he's at least Bi and is quite capable of (dare I say it) falling for you - and you're not helping the situation by fooling around with him. you're just reinforcing his belief that you two could be an item.

3) Reality check: what do you (yourself) REALLY get out of your "in the closet" arrangement - that you can't/don't get from your girlfriend?

If you can honestly answer "Nothing. It's just a bit of fun we've carried over from college" then it's time to move on and cut ALL ties. Your old college friend might not like it but it'll be best for you both. If he is Bi or gay, let him find someone who'll LOVE him as a Bi or gay guy.

If, deep down, you know there's some need he fulfils within you (and I don't mean as a beer buddy in the sports bar), then you've got issues as well (and I don't mean you're in full denial of being a raving homo). You'll have some serious thinking to do about what you want and what you're prepared to give up, knowing that you'll have to stick with that decision.

If you want to take this offline, click on the "contact me" on my profile page.

I hope this helps

Answer 4

i dont know if im the only one thats a lil confussed .but um how are you not gay ?you sayed he was your boyfriend and honeslty i think your a real a** if you have a girlfriend and she doesnt know that some other gay boy is putting it up your pooper .im glad that your lil boyfriend is starting to "queen it up"because your girlfriend doesnt deserve that crap .if you wanna have sex with guys thats fine but make sure your not f*cking around with someone that doesnt have a clue what your doing when shes isnt around .people like you make me sick .not cause your a man that is sleeping with a man its because your a scumbag that cheats

Answer 5

Okay, I'm not sure who is more confused here, me or you. How can you have a boyfriend that you are ashamed to admit the existence of to your girlfriend, and yet not be gay?

Answer 6

Dude, if you are having sex with a guy and you are a guy you are gay, or at least Bi. Denile, it is more than a dirty river in Egypt.
First you must come to terms with your self, and stop being a cheating scumbag. Eith be with her or him. Or stay single like me and do whom ever you want whenever you want.

Answer 7

He know all the lyrics to a James Blunt CD

Answer 8

let me get this straight:

- you're not gay, but you have an "in the closet" bf.
- you've got a gf who does not know you have an "in the closet" bf.

baby, you are at least bi. why the denial? and why the judgement on your b/f??? at least he's trying to be himself!

Answer 9

Once you encounter the Lover of our hearts and souls , sex and other relationships become secondary

Answer 10

Tell him how you feel and let him know he needs to adjust. Holding back only makes it worse.