In my late twenties & I dont have my driving license. feel very shameful about t?

Question

basically, this is very shameful and NOT how i planned my life to turn out. I dont know what happened but now it just appears that the time just piled on and now i feel stuck and shameful. The crazy part is that Im not even scared....just feel some type of way about going to the dmv now and having people stare at me for waiting so long.
Maybe its just me freaking myself out.
I just wondering if someone knew someone like me or have any advice to offer.
Alot of my friends ask am i scared and i say NO because im not.
Today i have given myself two weeks to study and take the test.
I also feel like i wont pass the test because now its like 50 questions and it used to be 30.
I am very educated but seem to lack in that department. Any advice would be helpful.

Answer 1

Regarding your shame, just have a story ready just in case someone asks. Tell them you have always lived in New York City, where you never needed to drive. Now you do. I've known plenty of people for whom that is true. You don't really need to defend or explain yourself anyway, but if you feel the need, New York is a great strory.

If you're bright and you study, the test will be no big deal.

Congratulations, by the way, I'm very happy for you!

Answer 2

Disregard any label that people from this board have given. People that name call aren't realists, they don't walk in your shoes. I am in my late 20's too and doing some things for the first time, I think that's what life is all about anyway ;p! Those people that you think are staring...or you think ;p are staring are there probably to take care of their business. Who cares about what they think...you honey, have a mouth,brain, and the ability to say outloud,"Don't you have something to do with yourselves here?" (I would suggest saying it silently, so you don't look like you are having a breakdown!;p) And plan to pass this test because it's a part of life. Whether you believe this or not hon, you are at the same place everyone else that has a drivers license was at some point in their lives. You don't ever judge your life by the eyes or timetables of others. You set your goals and do the best you can to achieve them. Every little fall means you get back up and keep going, there is no shame in that! Your time will come. Pass that test ...if you fail it ..worst case scenerio...take it again..and don't be afraid to ask someone that is at the DMV or state trooper for help. They CAN help you, if you find out that you fail. If you have a learning problem or need extra help make sure to get the help you need. And when you pass this test, shout out and take a VICTORY drive. IF you don't, it's ok ask for help, take it again. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

Why do you feel ready to take the test now? Do you need it? If not, then don't take the test. I was 22 when I finally got my driver's license, and I know that is younger than you are at the moment, but if I could have put it off I would. I LOVED riding public transportation, and I don't even live in a city with good public transportation! I just enjoyed meeting and seeing so many different people from all over the city, and not having the responsibility of insurance, a car payment, and worrying that someone will run into my car. My sister is 23 now and STILL does not have her license. She doesn't need it in San Francisco, nor does she want it. If you lived fine without it, why do you need it now?

Answer 4

Believe me, nobody at the DMV will have the slightest thought about you not having a license. I'm sure they see this kind of thing all the time. The employees only care about pushing paper, and as far as they know, you could have any number of personal reasons for not having a license until now, none of which are any of their business. If someone mentions it, they're probably just making conversation, and you can shrug them off with some vague reply. The other "customers" at the DMV will be too busy fretting about their own wasted time to even notice you.

Don't worry about not passing the test. If you got good grades in school, or even mediocre grades, you'll have no problem passing the test with two weeks of study.

Answer 5

I am in my early 30's, do not drive. I have never gotten my license but I have passed the test a couple of times.
I think that you may be putting a little too much pressure on yourself over something that is not really worthy of that much stress. I think that you should begin by deciding why you want to get your license. Do you want to drive? It does not sound like you want to drive as much as you would not like to feel "different".
You seem to feel alienated from others because you have not done what you think is expected of someone your age. Driving is convenient...until you get to the gas station, or you need work done on your car. I am luck, I am married to an auto-mechanic.
With all the gas grief and global-warming you may decide that you would feel better riding a bike or living near a bike route.
As far as feeling like everyone is noticing you at DMV...just remember that everyone has DMV nightmare stories. They make jokes about DMV lines in comedy sketches all the time. You won't stand out. That look on everyone's faces comes with the territory. Read your booklet, esp. before bed...things your read before you sleep stick better.
Try not to pick on yourself. Your worth is not based on your mode of transportation and you will always be your toughest critic, so take it easy and don't psyche yourself out too much.

Answer 6

I was terrified of driving (I was in a bad accident as a kid) and got my license when I was 18. The whole thing was no big deal.

Think of this way. Lots of people who live in New York City don't have driver's licenses or know how to drive. This is true in London, Tokyo, any place where there is good public transportation. In many places it's a coming of age thing but don't let it get you down. Lots of adults have to retake the drivers test, if they let their license expire or something like that. I promise you everyone in the DMV line is praying for it to move faster, NOT staring at you. LOL

Answer 7

Don't worry about it, especially if public transportation nowadays being very useful on its own. Go for it, get your permit/license and take it one step at a time. It's not a big deal. You don't have to live up to some social standard in the pop culture world of glamour and gliss that says driver's license at 16 is a must. There are many ways to do things avoiding driving your own vehicle. Gas prices are too high anyway.

Answer 8

embarrased is the word you should have used not shame.dont sweat it people do many things when there ready to do them you just werent ready to do this yet .when you get to the dmv you will see a great many people of all ages there for many reasons retesting for age ,revoked drivers retesting,middle aged mothers that lost a spouse and went thru driving school to learn ,foreign students ,and the list goes on .im a truck driver with 2 million miles over the road safe driving its no big deal just remember they are just people that want to drive and the people that test there are just there to see you are able to stay safe wile driving to protect the public from bad drivers im sure you will do fine.just a few pointers be aware of whats around you at all times read all road signs make good eye contact with people in other cars at intersections and never take your mind off your driving .oh and just one more thing before you start your driving day check all your lights ,tires ,and fluids so you wont be a hazzard for someone els .

Answer 9

If your are ashamed that just means that in the back of your mind you know that this is something you need to do. You are afraid even if you won't admit it as such. You say so yourself "I also feel like i wont pass the test because now its like 50 questions and it used to be 30." What is that feeling that you alk about if it isn't fear, or at least aprehension, which is just a small fear. You should only be ashamed if it is something that you think you can control, and you can control this

Answer 10

My first impression was that you were scared to drive...which is OK. It sounds, though, you don't have a phobia of driving.
It may just be that you are thinking that everyone will be noticing you while you are taking your test...which is very doubtful. Everyone in there is in the same situation...nervous about taking the test and they are all preoccupied with their own reasons for being there.
Relax, study, take a deep breath, and you have nothing to lose! You've gone this far without it, so who cares if you fail? You'll just try again. Stop trying to talk yourself out of it, go in there, and do your best! That's all that's necessary.