For the married men out there... What can I do to drive my husband to want to please me more?

Question

Not in a sexual way! I think that I do a lot for my husband. Maybe too much? Somone told me that if I give him everything, than he won't be hungry for more of me...? I do my best to make him happy and to please him. He is a good guy. He tells me he loves me and that I am beautifull all of the time. Which I apprectiate very much. It's when it comes to spending time together, that I need more of. He rather play playstation or watch TV. Then to spend time with me going out to dinner or whatever. Iv'e asked him to surprise me and take me some where anywhere. Out to dinner whatever. He never has. What do I do to make him want more of me, to actually want to do nice things for me, and see me smile??? Some tips please. Thanks

Answer 1

Emily, that is a tough question not knowing the personalities involved, but it seems you are depending on him for your happiness.

1) You can't make him happy, that is up to him.
2) Likewise, he can't make you happy, that is up to you.

My wife is very independent and yes, sometimes that can sure get my attention.

If she wants to go out to dinner she may say, "There is a restaurant that I have heard is very good, do you want to try it with me... I am planning to stop there on the way home Friday?".

She has tickets to a Kinney Chesney concert this week and I can't go due to work, she is going with her daughter.

PlayStation can be very addictive, so maybe you should start planning activities and inviting him to join you... he should start to catch on that even if he has no life, you are still alive and active.

Answer 2

A trick that works on us guys...........pick something he likes doing or has even a vague int rest in, it does not matter what it is really and it can even be as cheap as you need it to be(though it does not hurt to save up some money by cutting back on something else). Then get him to go. Make it all about him. He likes classic cars, you go to a classic car show.....remember your only goal is to spend time with him. Once you get the pattern going of 'going to events together', you can sneak in the ones you want too. This works best if you can do the 'we will drive up to so and so for the car show at 12 and then head over to the wine party at 5'.

So don't ask him, plan it yourself. If he needs a push, a touch of jealousy works. Just go to where ever with a Friend or such, have a good time and tell him all about it. Make him feel left out and he should want to come next time.

Answer 3

he doesn't need to spend time with you because he doesn't now and you still give him everything he wants so why should he? you have a very sweet attitude, however its also very naive, you aren't getting your needs met and thats that, its also a requirement of making a relationship work. you need to start sticking up for yourself a little more and demanding his attention or you will be very lonely throughout this entire marriage. just tell him like it is, i'm good to you and you ignore me, things can change you know. tell him clearly, calmly and precisely what you want from him, men aren't good at figuring things out from 'hints', if he still doesn't do it then you'll need to take more drastic measures.