well. the problem is I know this guy for like a month now. the first time I sow him I felt in love with him. he wants to marry me but my parents need time to know the guy more. even do I need to know him more. so my parents ask him to wait like a month or two to get ready fo the wedding then we can get marrid. he said no.
I feld so bad becouse I love this guy but I just cant get it why he dosent wanna wait. two month or whatever time will take. he said he loves me but if he do he have to do whatever it takes . for me. my parents didint ask him from enything hard. he said we need to go to the court first to marrifd then we can do the wedding letter. I said ok. but I just dont get it why hes want evrything to be fast. and my father didint agree he said. in 15 days I need more time I cant just give u my dougther in 15 days. also he dosent have peapers for the USA. means he eligal in here. my mom said he dosent love u he wants green card. if thats right there a lot of americans.???!!!!
2006-07-05 11:45:41 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and olso. hes trying to make me hates my parents. becouse they know I love him and they dont want me to marry him right now. I told him that I help my parents with rent and other think. he said no u soudint ur parent are useing u. and they just want u to be down like them. I dont know whats wrong with is guy. I kno whes mom devorced his father. when he was 8 and he grow up in problem s all life . he hats hef father. but he love his mother.enything she said to him. he say okay. I dont know. by th eway Iam 20 and he is 33. but I love him. I dont know what to do . I know my parents love me they just want me to be happy . I am tired talking to him. he was telling me to move out of my parents house and live in my own thet we can marrid the way we want. dont know what to. ANd if he say something he change the next day.please enybady who can tell me or advice me please.I was trying to call him today but hes not answering me. I was going to talk to him to do what my parents said.
thank u. :)
2006-07-05 11:48:03 · update #1
If you have doubts, don't do it. Mariage is a life-long commitment so 2 months shouldn't be such a big deal. I'm sure you love him but is it worth damaging your relationship with your parents? Don't let him rush you. Good luck!
2006-07-05 11:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by kempkids3lv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.
LISTEN TO YOUR MOM.
When any man RUSHES you into anything, it is because he fears that you will discover the something that he is hiding from you.
IF HE LOVE YOU he will wait as long as you want to, even a year !!!
He can not possibly LOVE you in 15 days.
OK, yes, he can LUST you...but he doesn't even know you enough to love you.
Love is being best-friends, and that takes time.
Love is TRUST, that also takes time.
Love is Respect, rushing you is not respect. You both want the time to get to know each other and take-in each others differences and respect those things.
Love is caring and sharing in a balanced way.
This man is RUSHING you, he is not considering anything the way YOU want it.
And let me warn you, IF you allow this relationship to start out giving him this power over YOUR decisions, then as the relationship grows, he will take more and more power, and make you TOTALLY MISERABLE in all things.
Can you really see yourself doing EVERYTHING the way HE wants it for the next 50 years, and you never getting anything the way you want it?
Get a grip on yourself. You are allowing this man to cloud your best judgement. DON'T !!!
Slow this thing down, and give it all of 3 months or more time to see if he's hiding things from you. He might have a horrible temper, and that will come out after the newness and the hot and heavy sexual attraction settles down. Your Dad is RIGHT about giving it some time, to see what kind of man, and temperment
and patience
and consideration
and caring and sharing this man has
or does not have.
Take good care of your heart. Don't give your whole heart out so quickly...give it time.
What's the hurry? If he really and truly loves you, then it's for a lifetime, right?...so what does it matter if you are married right now, or a year from now?
If he says he'll leave you, then he would have anyway !!!
I wish you true and long-lasting love
stw
2006-07-05 18:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parrents are right. I mean what is the big deal about waiting a few days? If he really loves you, he would not try to turn you against your parents. He must really think you are easy to manipulate. Maybe that is why he chose you to marry. He thinks he can talk you into anything. By the way, he can be arrested and sent to jail if he is marrying you just so he can get a green card. You could be arrested too. This is serious stuff and he is taking you for a fool. Listen to your parents. They love you and want what is best for you.
2006-07-05 18:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by Darlene 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your mother. There are so many immigrants coming to this country just looking for a way to get citizenship and a green card. Someone who has your best interest in mind will wait until you are comfortable with the upcoming marriage. They will not want you to rush into something so important in haste. One month is NO amount of time to know someone you will spend the rest of your life married to. If this guy doesn't back off and give you some time and space, I would advise you to stop seeing him altogether and find someone who is not looking to use you for a meal ticket! Best wishes.
2006-07-05 19:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole situation sounds very suspicious. I do think that he is using you just so that he can get his green card. You are so young that I don't think that you really love him . It takes more than a month to love somebody. I am also suspicious because it sounds like he is trying to turn you against your parents. He is probably trying to rush you so that he won't get deported. If he really is in love with you and wants to marry you he would wait forever to marry you. Do you even know anything about this man? Where is he from? Does he have a criminal record? It sounds like you are about to make a really big mistake if you marry this guy. Please listen to your parents and wait.
2006-07-05 19:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dearest soul,
For the first time in your life, you feel as thought someone is in love with you for you. You feel that this man would do anything for you and that he loves you with all his heart.
This man preys on women in need of attention. He has no desire to marry YOU, he just wants to be MARRIED. There are many americans he could marry, but most of them would be able to see his crafty, sly behavior and RUN the opposite way.
Tell him you found another girl that will marry him for now so that he can get his green card and ask him if he would like to meet her. If he says "sure" or "yes"., you will know HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. If he says "no, i only want you" then he only wants you.
2006-07-05 18:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by j j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he cant wait then try to persuade your parents to let him marry you quickly and he is a really good guy. But if you cant persuade your parents to try to persuade your boyfriend. If both doesnt work out then i dont know. Ask him why does he want to marry you so quick. He might have some things there because why so quick. 2 months isnt long.
2006-07-05 18:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by littlegrlsrock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need longer than a month go for a long distance relationship and a green card is not always eaiser when you are marrie you still have to pay $$$$$$$ and take test but really a month write each other if it comes back to you it is ment to be !
2006-07-05 18:48:08 · answer #8 · answered by ?asker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah if he don't have right paper in this usa and I have alot of women friend who thought that met right man and married found out only for green card and to be married. I think he try to ruin your family and you... for no reason... Listen to your parents becasue He want now and don't want to wait. becasue he knows that if he get caught he will send back to his country. You know know what his back ground from other country. He might be killer or know how to get woman to fall in love with him.
A guy like that I know I am a guy and find someone else who is from usa.. not from other country and getting green card. not care about you.
Pls take my word and it not worth it. Parents always right and they knows what out there and hear out there we don't so take your family word. and if that guy said no and try to have you against your parents that is not love. If he can't wait until 3 or 4 months that not love...
2006-07-05 18:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok sounds like he's rushing u to get married because maybe in order for him to stay in the states he has to get married. i don't think u should rush into getting married because that is a life long commitment and it takes time to prepare for the most memorable event in your life. u haven't even known this guy that long for u to get married to him. u should listen to ur parents and if he really loved u, he would want til ur ready not rush u. it is something behind this and u should check it out before u jump into this. check his background and where he's from. u would be pretty amazed to know why he's rushing u.
2006-07-05 18:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by hotgurl 04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋