I have a 6 & 8 year old. I have been divorced about 3 years and my kids live with me. In keeping with tradition, I still allow my boys to go away each summer with my ex's parents. His parents go for 2 weeks, I let the kids stay for 1 week....there is no way for the kids to contact me during that week. Each year there is an argument over why they can't stay 2 weeks. They are good to my children, but let the kids do whatever they want. When my kids come back after only a day with them, they are demanding,rude, & cranky from being spoiled.....so you can imagine after a whole week. My in-laws, mind you, sometimes talk to me, sometimes ignore me, so things aren't exactly warm & friendly anymore.....but I dont' want to punish my children for that, so I let them go. Don't you think that no matter WHAT the circumstances, a week is more than enough for kids that age to be away from parents? They tell the kids, "we want you to stay, but mommy says no." I want to say no vacation at all!
2006-07-05 11:26:37 · 9 answers · asked by paintgirl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They see their grandparents once or twice a week.
2006-07-05 11:34:55 · update #1
If your children want to go for the entire two weeks, you might consider letting them. Providing that they are safe, even though the grandparents spoil them and are not as strict as you would like, just do it. However, I would insist that the grandparents have them call you at least once during this time. If they can get them back to you in a week, they can find a phone in a week for them to call from.
When you are dealing with the inevitable behaviour problems when they return, sit down with the kids, and explain, you are back home now, and have to obey the rules at our house now. Don't allow any backtalk or attitudes ... if they occur, sit down with the child/ren and see if there is a specific reason behind it ... then again state the house rules of mutual respect, etc.
Then ... while they are gone ... enjoy your time!!
2006-07-05 12:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there is nothing what so ever wrong with the kids staying two weeks with grandparents they probably don't ever get to see throughout the year. Or even grandparents they see every week! It also sounds like you are just doing everything in your power to make sure everyone involved knows YOU are the mama, therefore you have ultimate control, which, sadly honey, is not the case. As much as it may kill and hurt you to let your kids stay two weeks, it would be for the better good of the family as a whole. Think of the resentment you are building in your kids for keeping them from your ex's family....they may not be showing signs of it now..but give then 10 years. And honestly, it would speak volumes on your part to let them stay the two weeks, it would show that YOU can be the bigger, better person..and that you truly DO want to do what will be the best for your kids, which is time spent with grandparents in this case. As long as you know there is no abuse or chance they will snatch the kids, then I say take the high road and let them stay the entire time.
2006-07-05 11:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by Sharlala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see anything wrong. This wont last long. Its only a phase your kids and you are going through. You want them to grow up soon and act like adults. At the same time you want them to act like little angels and toy kids and obey you completely. With their grandparents the can be the kids they really are and are given total freedom to just sit and enjoy their childhood. One more thing "if you have too much of one thing,it automatically makes you feel sick" Let the kids go for two weeks. Why dont you sit and ask the kids what they do with the grandparents. You go and do the same fun things they do and you will notice them getting reluctant to go to the grandparents house. Loosen up and be more of a friend then a mom. They are not toys they are human beings with a mind of their own and they have wants, dislikes and needs too. fullfill some of the dreams and wishes which are ok according to you as the mother and surely they will find you more nice to be with.
2006-07-17 16:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are too young to be gone away from home for 2 weeks with no contact. Anything could happen. I wouldn't even let my exhusband take my two kids for that amount of time at their age.
2006-07-19 02:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to envision with the community interest center. they have summer season classes that are many times fantastically affordable. They do all kinds of activities with the little ones and it keeps them in a social situation. also make positive you save your baby attempting to study over the summer season, perhaps interpreting some books that are of her grade factor. you may want to also attempt to get her in touch with different classes like female scouts or cakes in the adventure that they have got this on your section. do exactly not enable her sit down interior doing not something all day. On days that you at the on the spot are not operating, you may want to also plan journeys to parks or swimming pool to save her lively. also make a journey to the library and get her a library card. this can make her sense "grown up" and then she'll relish going to the library and prefer interpreting. desire this enables.
2016-10-14 03:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its up to the parent to protect the child.I do not let mine go to the in-laws because I know the long term damage. A week is generous.
2006-07-19 00:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a week is plenty at that age. They are still very young. I know what you mean, it is like a necessary evil. Good for you for allowing them to be whole and have a relationship.
I know its hard. Your doing the right thing.
2006-07-16 06:54:44 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A week is just fine. But I have issues with the fact that they can't contact you for that week? Why on earth not? There is no excuse for them not to be able to contact you and visa versa...
2006-07-18 12:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on how comfortable you are with there ability to care for your children the way you would care for them.
2006-07-18 12:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋