If you were hit as a child, do you think it served you well in life or hurt you? Please tell why.?

Question

Were you raised in a family that believed in hitting? Were you hit as a child? Do you think it is something that should be left up to the parent or should another authority have some say in it, if it happens, how much it happens or to what extreme? Tell why or share your experiences if you like?

Answer 1

I was hit as a child but never beaten , and only when I clearly did something wrong. It wasn't a common thing in my household but I deserved it when I did get a whipping and quickly learned there are consequences for bad behavior. I feel it had a positive impact in that I've never been in trouble with the law and that sort of thing. I feel strongly that beating a child or injuring a child is wrong and intervention is warranted in those cases. But I don't feel that way about a reasonable spanking for an unruly child. In those cases I think it best left to the parent . I also feel a parent should allow there self a short time to cool off before disciplining a child unless of course if the child is doing something which endangers their self or someone else , then immediate action is needed.

Answer 2

I was hit as a child as a form of punishment when I failed to listen to all the other warnings. I was never beaten in any way and I turned out just fine. The one time I went to school with a black eye the school reported my parents but forgot that I was hit with a ball the day before in gym class. So the school looked stupid but my parents got tortured by social services first. I think that was more damaging than any spanking I ever got. So for all those kids that were beaten I'm Glad there are ways to get help and I'm sorry that happened to you. Now as a mother yes I do use spanking if it is necessary. Which mind you is not often at all.

Answer 3

I was raised in a family where spankings were enforced, but not actual hitting/beating the kids. I think it should be left up to the parent unless they take it to the extreme (in other words, what would be coined as abuse- causing serious harm to the child). I think that there are some children who have tested the limits of what they can get away with to the point that they do not respond to anything other than physical punishment. Do I condone beating the kids to within an inch of their life? Absolutely not.

Answer 4

I was raised in a family that loved me. (And still does.) I was spanked when necessary, but it was infrequent. But did I ever deserve it, you bet. Hitting and spanking are two different things. A family with love will not, "hit," at all, hitting is about domination, and repression, spanking is about guidance, and love. There is no fine line here. If a child, or a woman, or a man is physically hurt, it is beyond discipline and becomes an attack. In the USA there are already laws and remedies in place to handle these things.

If you are in a situation like this just now I want you to walk to the nearest police station, hospital, or fire department and let them know what is up. If someone is hurting your kid they need to be in jail, or at least a very long way away from you. Love is not pain, love it the truth, love is justice, not beating to tears.

Good luck.

Answer 5

This is easy to answer. I was given spankings and got an occasional beating while I grew up. The ultimate responsibility for a childs discipline is the parents responsibility. Eventhough I believe there should be a required training program for people before being allowed to reproduce, parents are ultimately responsible for a childs development. There are agencies for the protection of children that are already medling too much in family business, however, children need protection from parents that loose control or parents that should never have been allowed to reproduce. The entities in place are acceptable and need to be used.

Answer 6

I have struggled with the physical discipline issue ever since I had my own children almost 7 years ago. I personally don't take to books and psychological experts when answering these kinds of questions, because I think they ensure their future employment by a) overcomplicating things and b) coming up with a "NEW and improved" theory every 10 years. Most problems in life can be solved with a little observation and common sense, so my own philosophy comes from there.

I was, of course, bombarded with the ruling philosophy of the day when I had my daughter ("Don't spank your kids, it makes them abusive, it makes them fearful, it makes them angst-ridden teenagers" and so on). But looking at the generation of children and teens that were raised on this philosophy, I wasn't convinced. They were more angry, more selfish, and more destructive than any generation I had ever seen. They had more self-hatred and less direction. And they hated their parents.

So I started with the end in mind. I went to everyone I knew, people whom I really respected. People whom I thought were shining examples of the human race. Thoughtful, happy, fun, sensitive, well-adjusted and intelligent people. I asked them, "Did your parents ever spank you as a child?” Not a single one said no. Everyone was spanked, and they turned out better than fine.

The key though, is to make sure there's enough love and stability in their lives to balance it. If kids are only spanked and not loved, then it creates an abusive neglectful environment, regardless of whether the physical contact is at the level of "abuse" per se. There was a study that came out in about 2000 or 2001 stating that kids who were spanked but came from generally loving homes did not suffer any measurable ill effects in their 20's.

On a side note, take a look at the animal kingdom. Dogs bite their puppies when they do something harmful or get too far out of line. They bark and scold their babies for running off. A certain amount of fear is a necessary part of the learning process, even if the consequences are created by the parent.

If you must consult psychologists, I highly recommend The Epidemic by Robert Shaw. Not everything he says is gospel, but his upfront analysis was excellent.

Best of Luck ~*~

Answer 7

In the old days , I believe most parents hit or spanked their children. I was hit, not just spanked. I believe it helps children know boundaries.

With Child Protective Services and so much horrible child abuse going on, I believe CPS has gone overboard as far as trying to figure out who is being abused and who is not. Some parents are accused of abusing their kids, even though it has been that it was siblings fighting and went to school with bruises. It is ridiculous that no parent can discipline their child for fear of having their children taken away because of child abuse. Still , I constantly see in the news of kids who are being abused and somehow, CPS never finds out or they fall through the cracks of the system.

Everyone in the street seems to be watching, yet, it is the REAL child abusers hidden and somehow keep getting away with child abuse, it is in churches, it is in schools and we the parents end up being the escape goats. It is too late for parents to try to hit or spank their kids, because CPS or a neighbor or some bystander will call the cops on you. And kids are getting away with too much these days because of lack of discipline. Parents must find new ways to discipline their kids, because hitting seems not to be an option anymore.

Answer 8

I don't think that if you were hit as a child that it served you well. I think that it actually may have tramatized you for the rest of your life. I grew up in a military family and was hit if I screwed up something and now that i am older, i realize why my parents believed that it was okay to do it. But when i was a child, i often got frightened if my friends raised their hand at me(as if to hit me).

Answer 9

I was hit a little when I was a kid. It usually only brought me back down to earth or made me realize the gravity of what I was doing. My dad spanked me, and my mom smacked me once or twice. It made me listen to them and get out of the heat of the moment. More important than physical correction was the fact that they would always, ALWAYS explain to me WHY something wasn't good. And if they couldn't explain it, we would talk about it until it was solved.

In other words, they talked to me like I had a brain, and only resorted to a smack when I absolutely refused to listen... it definitely helped me like that.

I was never grounded or needed time-outs, because by the time we would get done talking things would be understood. I think it helped me, and I will use it in moderation when I'm a mom. I don't think anyone should try to regulate that completely. As someone else said, there are services in place - we have to focus on getting kids and parents in abusive situations to feel empowered enough to use them.

Answer 10

It really depends on the situation, if your parents were just flatout abusive, then one of two things will happen: You will be abusive in much the same way or you will just about never hit your own children. But if a person was hit as a child in the name of true discipline, where they know why they are getting hit, and only when necessary, then you have someone who can grow to be rational when dealing with their own children.

But on a more close to home note, my parents usually hit me when I'm NOT doing anything wrong or they just know I'm right. I tell myself that when I have my children, I'm going to strive to be less flippant with hitting my children, then my own parents have been with me.