I have been married for 4 years and we have 2 wonderful sons. My husband is phenomenal with me and our boys. He bakes all homemade foods. He cares for our children without regard to himself. He would even tell me to stay in bed at night when our youngest woke up so I could get my rest. I could never ask for a more devoted and giving husband and father for our children. However, we got married because we got pregnant after only 3 months of dating and believed it was the right thing to do, since came from a preacher's family. We have never built a strong relationship. I feel deflated when he is around me and I have lost all my love for life. I know I have a special man, but is that reason enough to stay married if the love isn't there? Is the fact that he is so wonderful enough of a compensation for love?
2006-07-05 11:12:24 · 14 answers · asked by Trixie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must have had a spark at some point if you got pregnant. To find that again show him the love that he shows you. By showing love, you will gain it back again.
Love is a choice, regardless of what you might hear. Romantic love is a fleeting feeling that we sometimes get, but you choose to love someone. When you married you promised to love that person no matter what. He made the same promise and he is sticking to it. Work on your friendship and do stuff together.
Tell him you appreciate all that he does for you and the family, but that you want to work on your relationship because you want to have a strong marriage. He sounds like the type to really help you out with this. Tell him you want to be closer to him and fall in love with him again. Go through christian marriage counseling.
It is not too late to build a strong relationship, especially with such a great guy. God bless you both and your marriage.
2006-07-05 11:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sara B 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Do me a favor and read your statement to yourself- aloud- then tell me what you would do. Nothing compensates for love. Look at what you're doing to your entire family by denying this essential element: you say you have "lost all my love for life". Is not your husband entitled to a loving wife who will reciprocate his devotion? What will your children think when they get older- that what you're doing now is right? How will their relationships work out? Think about the impact on everyone's future, and do what you know is right. Be honest with yourself, then tell the truth. After all your hubby has done for you, he deserves a little respect and honesty, don't you agree?
2006-07-05 11:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by sportyblush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he really loves you and the boys. Maybe you need to try some marriage counseling to get to the heart of the issue.
Marriage should be based on love... but try counseling first (this man sounds wonderful to me!) and if you can't find what brought you together in the first place, because there must have been an attraction or love to start with... if you can't find that again, then do him a favor and leave. he needs someone to treat him as well as he treats you.
2006-07-05 11:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Marriage can be healed....Counseling and Prayer & GOD will see you through. Don't be a victim to the Devil's Plot! My future ex wife had the same treatment as you and now due to her infidelity she is now stuck with the lover, no job, no car, and just been evicted. I can only imagine what she is thinking now.....but hey sometimes we make some poor choices.....Remember that Love is not a Feeling...It is a Commandement and Unless he is beating you or cheating on you...you should love the one you are with. The Grass is not Greener Elsewhere and if it is Greener ask yourself " Who else is Watering IT?!"
2006-07-05 11:26:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to forge a relationship with him. You need to do the things you would do to try to bond a relationship. Chances are you and him really don't do much together and never did. Have no fear, you still can.
Call your community education center and see if there are dance lessons available. Join a book club together, take a college art class together.....YOU NEED TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER. Tell your family that you need their support in watching the kids or you feel that if you do not get time to bond with your husband, that you will fall deeper in depression.
2006-07-05 11:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lucky to have someone who helps in the home and does all the wonderful things he does for you. Try to see him in a new light, look at how strong his arms look or his butt or even his smile and think good things about him. Bring the fire back into your relationship. If you don't think it's enough, you need to leave him and find someone else. Good luck.
2006-07-05 11:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seek counseling.
Him treating you and your family like gold is fantastic, but if you don't love him enough then you should speak to someone about your problems.
Couple's counseling is great for issues like this!
2006-07-05 11:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by kristijay99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should do what makes you happy,. if he pleases you in one way and not the other maybe you can teach him how to satisfy you all around. try talking to him and explain what you want to feel loved. good luck
2006-07-05 11:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by sneakymonica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No get out and let him find someone that will love him as much as he loves you.
2006-07-05 11:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a selfish self centered little witch
2006-07-05 11:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by beer_pharts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋