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I honestly cant think of any successful marriages in people that I know. My parents are divorced. My friends parents are divorced. Do I have any hope of being happily married? Is there such a thing?

2006-07-05 10:53:33 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

30 answers

I've been married a long time. After we got married we waited 6 years before we had my daughter so that we could make our marriage strong and be financially OK. She's now 21 in college and we're pretty much by ourselves again and we're having a ball. My parents were married 41 years before my Dad died and they were very happy. Their last night together before he died he pinched her butt as she walked by. LOL

2006-07-05 11:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2 0

Well, my parents have been together for over fourty years. I myself have been married for over seven years. Certainly, those are both happy marriages.

However, marriages aren't always happy, even the happy ones; there will be times of stress, and times where you don't like the other person very much. Still, if you work together as partners, and love and respect one another, you have a very good chance of having a long, happy marriage.

For what it's worth, my wife's mother is twice divorced, and her father is on his fifth marriage -- and the fifth one is a happy one, and has endured. So past performance (in this case your parent's marriage) is no indicator of future results (your marriage.)

Finally: since you have no happily married couples as role models, try to avoid taking relationship advice from the divorced people you know, and don't emulate them when you can avoid it. This may seem obvious, but once you're in a marriage and hitting a rough spot, you may find yourself unconsciously emulating the way your parents behaved at a similar time.

The most important thing you can do is, when things are going wrong, take a step back. Sit down, take a deep breath, and try to look at it as if it were another couple. Realize that you're doomed to repeat your parent's mistakes unless you learn to compromise, learn to admit that you might be wrong, and learn to pull back when your emotions threaten to pull you in deeper.

If you are patient, careful and understanding, and marry someone you respect and love (and feels the same way about you), you have a good shot. Good luck.

2006-07-05 11:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1 0

How might I know the way comfortable I was once then if I am no longer similarly comfortable now? I think happiness is an excessively subjective a state of brain that during ordinary knowledge is just about as handy to lose as tough is it to come back via. Sometimes, we do omit as while was once it that we had been relatively comfortable. Sometimes, we omit the factors for being comfortable ago - which in a way is a well factor as there may be pleasure in that too, in understanding historic matters anew, and in fitting comfortable everywhere once more. This could be very infrequent within the brain that matters persevered to make us comfortable past exact intervals of time. We might get bored to death quickly with even being comfortable. Then that is the truth that all of us like difference, in spite of difference being a danger. Many people many might search happiness of their exploits of more than a few sorts, of their adventures, of their fascinating ambitions, exhilarating occasions, in hilarities of lifestyles, and within the euphoric moments of discovery and strangest encounters. True happiness nevertheless isn't a lot of a question of non permanent joyfulness. It is some thing for extra truly in our brain as our traditional want for warranty of our ideals. I don't think that happiness some thing that we might have for one second most effective to lose within the subsequent. True happiness, I think, is approximately some thing that's continuously with us, some thing that's everlasting, some thing that we under no circumstances lose, however on the whole most effective the believe or contact of it. A threat assembly with a excellent stranger, for example, might no longer make me any happier, but when I see a historic buddy after many years, then I consider I am much more likely to be overjoyed. I might be comfortable additionally if I might discover some thing to job my memory of my greater self. This can occur any time, and while it does, all I might consider is being a greater self.

2016-08-20 10:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Yes. Marriage is work. It isn't full of roses, chocolates, and romance. That only occurs once in a blue moon. My philosophy is that you should marry someone that you could live with. It takes 2 to make a marriage work and 2 to break a marriage. Both sides have to compromise. If not, the marriage will not last. Unfortunately, most people don't like to compromise. You should read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." I am certain you will find that right person! :)

2006-07-05 11:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by sshurly17 1 · 1 0

My mom has been divorced twice, and people all around me are getting divorces. BUT...married couples who keep God first in their personal lives and God first in their marriage really do stay together. There are going to be ups and downs but God's love is powerful enough to keep a marriage together even in these days. if both are willing to let Him rule their lives and marriage. I've only been married a little over two years, so i'm not an extreme expert but i've gone through days i've wanted to leave just cuz it gets hard sometimes and life is tough on people even if they love each other alot. But i can truly say i am happier now married to my sweet hubby then i ever was before. God knew me well enough to know who would complement me the best and who would help me to grow and stretch my mind, i'm glad I let HIm lead at least in this one thing in my life. there aren't many sucessful marriages because people aren't willing to commit through hard times and also because of all the abuse that goes on now. Marriages santicified in God do work though!

2006-07-05 11:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by Freedom 3 · 1 0

Absolutely. I think the important thing is to realize that it's completely unrealistic to expect the initial bliss to stick around forever. You can be happy with out being Tom Cruise gaga about each other for ever. Maybe content is a better word. I've been with hubby 6 years, and we can still do nothing but sit and talk for hours. Of course it's not the exciting getting-to-know you discovery kind of stuff, but it's comfortable. And I still get delighted when he does or says something unexpectedly sweet - those butterflies should never go away. They just sleep a lot more!

2006-07-05 11:04:23 · answer #6 · answered by home.and.self 2 · 1 0

everyone in my family have been divorced at least once some more than that but my parents have been married 32 years and are more in love now than ever before...you have to know that is hard and takes work and you cant just give up when it gets hard...yes you can have a happy and long lasting marriage if you want

2006-07-05 10:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by Trouble 3 · 1 0

I'm happy, but I've only been married for a little over a year. When the fuzzy feeling goes away some people don't want to work on their relationships any more. They just give up. You have to work at a marriage to make it last.

2006-07-05 10:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

How could i understand how comfortable I was once then if i am not equally blissful now? I believe happiness is an extraordinarily subjective a state of mind that in customary working out is just about as handy to lose as rough is it to come back via. Generally, we do omit as when used to be it that we have been rather completely satisfied. Repeatedly, we forget the motives for being glad up to now - which in a sense is a good thing as there's satisfaction in that too, in figuring out ancient things anew, and in fitting blissful all over again. This is very infrequent in the intellect that things continued to make us comfortable beyond targeted durations of time. We could get uninterested quickly with even being happy. Then this is the fact that all of us like change, regardless of alternate being a hazard. Many people many would seek happiness in their exploits of various kinds, of their adventures, in their enjoyable goals, exhilarating circumstances, in hilarities of lifestyles, and within the euphoric moments of discovery and strangest encounters. Proper happiness nevertheless is not much of a subject of short-term joyfulness. It is anything for extra real in our mind as our ordinary want for assurance of our beliefs. I do not think that happiness something that we would have for one moment best to lose within the next. True happiness, I believe, is about something that is continuously with us, something that's permanent, anything that we not ever lose, but commonly handiest the suppose or contact of it. A chance assembly with a best stranger, for example, would no longer make me any happier, but when I see a historic friend after a long time, then I think i'm more more likely to be delighted. I might be completely happy also if i might find whatever to take me back to the fact of my better self. This may occur any time, and when it does, all i would remember is being a greater self.

2016-08-08 23:45:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0 0

Yes happy marriages exist! I never had a successful relationship until I started dating my husband 7 years ago. I found him when I wasn't looking and I couldn't be happier! No marriage is perfect, they are alot of work but they can last happily ever after!

2006-07-05 12:29:01 · answer #10 · answered by cnelligan2 1 · 1 0

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