He is not interested in anything you are doing until you tell youself fine I don't need him, I am going to do it all by myself and then ta-da he wants to see you. He has no personal interest in anything,
2006-07-05 10:46:06 · 22 answers · asked by Jenny 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He is passive-aggressive, getting his control over you in an indirect way.
You may want to consider counseling to change this behavior, as it is corrosive to a relationship.
2006-07-05 11:21:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
This goes beyond "wanting what we can't have"; sounds like hubby, for some reason, may be depressed. He may feel his life didn't quite turn out the way he'd hoped; not that it's his or anyone else's fault. It's just the way things happened.
So he exists at home lethargic; not experiencing the gumption or energy to do much of anything. Nagging/bitching at him will only make matters worse: he'll grow to resent you for doing so. After all: how many people RUN to LOVE someone who's mean to them?
Something's amiss deep in his life and it needs to surface so he can deal with it--and he CAN deal with it. A trained therapist may be the key. Only when he comes to accept this and embrace this method of help with an open mind can he make the first step towards living a happier life than he now faces.
2006-07-05 18:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that there's a chance that your husband is not being completely honest with you in some area of your marriage relationship. It's possible that infedelity and unfaithfulness has taken (or is taking) place...or he is at least troubled with the temptation of being so. Where and what is he doing when he leaves the Castle? Do you know whether or not his answers are legitimate and can be verified? I personally believe that you're seeing what is only the "tip-of-the-iceburg", and you need to search it out and take matters into hand. It's a very sad thing indeed...but I need to remind you that success in a marriage only happens through communication. If the line of communication has been severed, then you need to find out WHY. It's possible that, even when he's with you, his mind or heart is somewhere else. Don't be, nor allow yourself to be "wide-eyes-closed" in this matter. Face him head-on about this matter before you find yourself with a broken heart...and don't delay.
2006-07-05 18:14:34 · answer #3 · answered by LARRY M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are stuck with this kind of husband, the only thing I can tell you is that you are going to have tough time getting his attention. And you are putting on yourself too much pressure every time to pretend that you don't care about him just to get him to know that you are alive. And when you start to become attached to him, that guy is dying to get away from you. This is a wrost husband that a girl can get. My advice is that to borrow his attitude and use it against him. The idea is not to get even with him, but to have him understand that he is in the wrong all the time. If this doesn't work, then that man is either a fool, or he has too much pride.
2006-07-05 17:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by Lin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. You are just as much to blame, because you let him play that game. Why should he be interested in anything you have to say or do, when he knows you'll forgive him and take him back every time it's convenient for him? Sounds like he's getting what he wants.
2006-07-05 18:36:15 · answer #5 · answered by edge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek professional help. You are the one with the problem, not him. He's happy the way things are,. The next time you tell yourself you don't need him; stick with it and move on into a future you will create the way you deserve to have it. He is not going to change because you enable his behavior. Not dumping on you, just interjecting some reality.
2006-07-05 17:55:36 · answer #6 · answered by maceverod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are running out of time to learn more about your friends and family. The concept of marriage is a mirage and you need to find new beliefs and expectations before you become depressed and very sick. Search ideas like 'spirit-wife' on line to get a new perspective.
2006-07-05 17:57:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am probably way off base and if I am, please forgive me.
Does he have a history of childhood sexual abuse? Maybe you don't even know this. It sounds like he has serious issues with intimacy and only feels safe when he knows you're not available. Then when you are available, he shuts down and shuts your out. It is a tell-tell sign.
2006-07-05 19:19:53 · answer #8 · answered by reality_check 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like he is controlling and only wants what he wants
and doesn't care about your needs and wants.If he thinks you will leave and make it on your own then it's like challenging him and he stands up to you.So i say leave and let him think about how life is without you or with you and maybe then he can make up his mind.He really wants you to need him so much that you can't live without him.That is very abusive mentally.
2006-07-05 18:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by countrykarebare 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a game to me. Who needs games? Not you!
Leave him.
There's men out there that will want to have something to do with you no matter what the circumstances are!
2006-07-05 18:20:27 · answer #10 · answered by MissT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a bit like he's having a private little pity party, a bit of a masochist(he like to feel subservient); Lazy and no direction: you're staying with him because....????
2006-07-05 17:56:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋