IF Jesus & Satan were here on earth, what for-profit industry would they work at?

Question

I could imagine Him being an architect for a global software firm and get the prestigious title by Forbes magazine as the richest man on earth.

Alternatively, which industry would Satan work at? I bet it would be the legal industry.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Satan would work in Hollywood - he is all about ego.

Jesus is allready a trained carpenter so he would probably be a furniture maker this time too.

Answer 2

Satan-Submarine Sandwiches

Jesus-Burritos

Answer 3

First of all Jesus is not for profit, as evident in the bible. And he would be highly mobile. He would be a consultant and give all the extra income minus food and shelter to charity.

Satan, he would find a way to somehow be a head in both politics and business at the same time, trying to reach global domination.

Answer 4

i think that both will work as recruitment consultants, Satan will be a cunning headhunter and Jesus probably recruiting for the media or something like that. For me that is what they were about, getting people to work for them or their ideas. Jesus started his business by going to Galilee and convincing some fishermen to change their careers and join the wonderful world of PR. Preaching and Roaming. As for Satan, since he managed to headhunt Adam and Eve from Holidays Reps in Paradise to Organic Farmers in the Old Testament the job was cut out for him. He even tried a hostile merger but Jesus refused 3 Times!!!

Answer 5

Jesus would manage a sweatshop in Korea because he "loves the little children"

Satan would run a clothing distributor that gets t-shirts from Jesus' sweatshop.

So Jesus would work for Satan

Answer 6

Jesus and Satan would have their own radio show together. And a TV show like the View. They could have guest stars like Hitler and Moses. They could also review movies together. Go on tour, book signings, all that stuff. They could even sing duets at huge concert venues.

Answer 7

Jesus and Satan would replace Ebert and Roper

OR

Jesus would perform small miracles for parties and fix all the misquotations in the bible. Satan would direct porn (and guest star as himself in the popular new release 'Hell Holes')

Answer 8

I think Jesus would work at home depot, and eventually be promoted to CEO by His heavenly father

I think Satan would work for builder's square that went out of business and got taken over by home depot.

then he would be unemployed, so he would try his hand at McDonald's. But he would quickly get fired for masturbating in the secret sauce they put on the big macs which incidentally, is the CEO of Home Depot's favorite lunch food

Eventually he would get a job running guns for the Russian Mafia. Of course, he would hit on the DON"s daughter and a hit would be put on him, so he would run away and hide on a steamboat that was carrying rolls of carpet which was being delivered to the Home depot were house.

At this time, Jesus would appoint his interior designer to remodel his office, and gave the authorization to have a piece of carpet delivered form the were house.

Satan got a plan to infiltrate the Home depot office and to overthrow Jesus from the title of CEO thereby setting himself as the new master and ruler of carpentry supplies worldwide. So Satan set out to turn himself into a desk, but in his stupidity, turned himself into carpet and was selected to be installed in the office of Jesus Christ.

To this day, when Jesus goes to work, Satan is under his feet where he belongs, continually being trampled on by the son of man for all the days of His life.

Meanwhile the Don's assassins showed up to a home depot store to buy knives and shovels to...........

Answer 9

Jesus would work at a wine-making firm in southern Italy, helping to stretch the assets to their utmost. Satan, on the other hand, would work for Enron (or their equivalient), working to steal and destroy.

Answer 10

Jesus - Subway sandwiches - the ONLY way they'd taste better

Satan - Any law offices that do litigation...