I'm married to a Loser?

Question

My husband is disabled and uses a scooter to get around.As a result of his laziness he has gained two hundred pounds. He loves the Internet and is constantly Instant messaging hundreds of women from Asia. I have confronted him about this but he said he just wants a penpal, His computer wallpaper is an Asian Lady. I have in my possession several emails of him proposing marriage to these women.He also abuses prescription drugs and spends most of his day sleeping.or on the Internet with these women. I have my own life and really do not care what he does but my thoughts go to A) Should I divorce him B) beat the holy **** out of him C) Shut down the Internet and beat the holy**** out of him and then divorce him. Please ladies and gents I would love your input

Thank You everyone for your overwhelming support and advice. My difficult decision is not going to lie in choosing A B or C but who gave the best answer. LOL

Answer 1

Whoop his lazy azz right out of that wheel chair and leave him on the floor for a day or so.... I bet he will stop his behavior if you let him have it. He has to understand you have been there for him none of those Asian women will take care of his fat azz girl they will get that visa to the states and leave his happy azz on the floor where you left him screw that....but if you love him give him a chance to redeem himself maybe he's a little depressed.

Answer 2

I am very sorry as I know exactly how you feel, same type of circumstances but different. The things that we do are not so much the issue as it is the things we do not do or neglect. I am 50 years and have businesses on the internet and work all I can at remodeling and fixing things for people part time. I am very good at it and will make headway to retire in about 10 years. Problem is I live with my 1st ex-wife and she lives in the past. No need to tell you where that is going as I do not believe life is in the past but today and in the future. Seems the people we live with have forgotten the most important of things, our relationships and us as people. I know it is lonely and unrewarding but try everything before you have to quit. I have exhausted every avenue to change the relationship and now even though I am not married to her, I felt it was a personal committment to her to give everything a try before I leave and we are not married. If I were married there is no quitting only working through the problem unless the problem prevents the marriage. Please accept my sincere sympathy for where you are. Maybe somewhere in life our paths will cross. I do not have a scooter but ride a bicycle. Keeps me in shape and I feel better. Suggest some alternatives to your spouse, do all that you can and when there is nothing else to try I am sure that you will make the best decision. God bless you in your endeavor and trials.

Answer 3

was he disabled before you married him? the reason he communicates with these women over seas is because he can pretend to be what he wants to be.he can tell them things over the computer such as that he is tall dark and hansom etc.it does sound like he does have a problem you should let him know how you feel about his "cheating" and how it makes you feel.develop a workout plan that you both can do together to get him away from the computer so he can spend more time with you work thing out before getting a divorce unless you think that there is no other way.remember for better or worse .

Answer 4

He doesn't sound committed to you anymore--I'm at a loss to understand why you're still with him!

Absolutely, you should divorce him. Be sure and hang on to the evidence you have of his infidelity, even if it is just cyber-infidelity. I'd avoid the violence, though, as that would get you in more trouble than he is worth.

Could you maybe commit some non-injurious mayhem, though? Like expose his computer to a virus (after collecting your evidence, I guess), or put slow leaks in his scooter tires. Something like that, while petty & small-minded, will make you feel better without doing any real harm.

Answer 5

I believe you need to be proactive. I would first consult a lawyer if you are seriously considering divorce and plan a way to make sure you will not have to pay alimony for him to sit at home and surf the internet. The email proposals should help with this.

Secondly, make life plans and decide if this is where you want to be in the next five years and begin to execute your plan. His fantasy life has completely absorbed him, it seems, and that is often very difficult for the abandoned partner. Please consider seeing a counselor.

Blessings!
M

Answer 6

I would love to go with C but than people will say that you took advantage of a disable person... so go with A just divorce him and let him deal with his mess... and as for you just get the hell out of there and continue with your life... you do not need a extra baggage with you especially if he is in that way!! If he were different helping you out etc and respecting what your doing for him than its a total different story but seems like he is using you to be there clean for him etc....... well its time that he starts doing it himself and lose those 200 pounds he got around his belly!
Wish you all the best.... extra baggage free future!

Answer 7

if i was you i would get even:
1)switchin the prescriptions wit diet pills.
2) disconnect the battery in the scooter.
3) when he needs some help tell him to do yoself.
4) start comin home late and bring home a doggy bag from a resturant for the h#ll of it.
5) then get a divorce.

Answer 8

First: if he's using a scooter to get around because he's disabled, he's not lazy. He's disabled. There's a difference.

Second: you really need to ask? You have no respect for him, obviously, so you don't need those emails to justify a divorce. If you don't respect someone, don't stay with them. Simple as that.

Answer 9

I'd do the following: First, disconnect his precious internet. Second, if you really don't want to salvage this relationship, you leave (if you care about him and want things to work, try counseling, but it sounds like you're at the end of your rope there). And finally, when you leave, leave him the number to Narcotics Anonymous so he can get help for his painkillers. Look at it this way...if you divorce him, you'll lose 200+ more pounds. =) Good luck!

Answer 10

Wow, and he's the only loser in this marriage? What does that say about you that you would put up with this and stay married. You might want to start looking inside yourself to find out why you've put up with this in the first place before pushing the the blame off onto someone else. There are always three sides to a story. His, yours, and the truth.