Is anyone else waiting. guys can answer too.?

Question

I am TRYING to keep myself pure until marriage. Which is really hard to do in a sex filled world. Is there anyone out there who is doing this too because i feel weird because my friends say they aren't waiting. I just think it is right because if i have a baby then i KNOW i can handle it. I just want to know if any one else is waiting and can you give me tips to reduce my urges to have sex.

the reason i want to wait is because of pregnancy . My preacher said something to me that made me think to do this . There are always unwanted pregnancies but not unwanted children. So i thought that if i had a baby that could really be hurtful to both of our lives.

Answer 1

Hmm? It's part of being a teen. You could masturbate - I mean it's not the same as having sex.

Well think of it this way; You're not going to get married until you're over 18 anyhow. So just don't do it. You're husband will appreciate it if you wait for him.
Part of the joy in having someone wait for you is knowing that it was hard for them. I mean if it was easy to abstain, it wouldn't be so special now would it?
Also, think of all the STDs and unwanted pregnancies your avoiding.

Date guys who won't push you. I can promise you that a guy who pushes for sex is only in the relationship for sex. If your guy genuinely likes you, he'll respect you and your wishes.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Well, with the way America is right now, I probably won't be able to get married anytime soon. And as long as it's a committed relationship, I don't see the whole point of waiting until marriage. Especially since I'm atheist and most of the waiting until marriage talk comes from the Bible. As for getting pregnant, I know enough about biology to realize that two eggs =/= child. So, I doubt I'll be waiting, depends on how the relationship goes.

Answer 3

Having sex before marriage is not "right" and it's not "wrong".. it's just a personal choice. There are plenty of people who have had sex before marriage and have loving, long lasting relationships with their spouses. There are plenty of people who decided to wait who's marriages ended quickly. Waiting doesn't automatically make it "better" just as NOT wating makes it "worse". If you decided you're not ready to make that move, don't. now as far as having a baby, you're right on that count. if you're not ready for the responsibility, then DON'T DO IT. You'd be ruining two lives. There are ways to have sex before marriage and NOT have a baby, but admittedly none is more foolproof that abstinence, if you REALLY want to be sure.

And as far a reducing the urge to have sex, the best advice I guess is to avoid situations where the urge might come up. You might be making out with your significant other, but you have to know what your limitations are. In the words of Kenny Rogers, you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, etc...

if it helps, masturbate a lot. Seriously. You'll be a lot calmer when you get near that special person.

Answer 4

If you want to remain a virgin until marriage, you should do so. Don't let anyone whine, wheedle, pressure, cajole, or shame you into to doing anything that you don't feel comfortable with. It's your body.

On tips to deal with your urges ...

1) Masturbate as often as you like.
2) Avoid alcohol and drugs because they diminish your inhibitions and judgement. Avoid them like the plague itself when you are with members of the opposite sex.
3) If you go on a date, kiss them at the door when the date is over. Avoid heavy "make out" sessions in a private setting. You'll be very aroused and then what?
4) Join a group to discuss your feelings and experiences.

Answer 5

i unfortunately did not, i did not think my husband wouldn't be a v, and i did not want him to feel bad or make comments on how inexperience i am. he didn't wait either. only did it because he thought they were going to have a future together. however, i have a friend who is. she is not able to use internet for a few days otherwise i would have asked her to answer with her own words. i will tell you however, what i have seen her do to avoid those situations. she allowed herself to have one boyfriend during high school. she hasn't dated since then. she never allowed him to kiss her anywhere but on the back of the hand. only date those who you know well and are in good standing, very strong in Christianity. anyone else that may seem interested in dating her before they have been friends for quite sometime she lets them know that she is only interested in their friendship at the time and no more. so they don't try to pressure her to date and possible more. you will be surprised how many guys will respect that. i hope her example of which i have seen will help you.

Answer 6

I respect people who wait... I myself could not but it is a very respectable thing to do.. anyone who's pressuring you to give that up isn't worth your time... if you find yourself in a situation where you may be tempted... just find something to lighten the mood. Suggest you get up and go for a walk or go shoot some hoops. Maybe even just turn the tv on or put on a funny movie. Stick to your values, you'll be thankful you did.. as will your future husband! I wish you luck and hope you can find a man with values and morals as high as your own.

Answer 7

Yeah, Im waiting Until marriage, because Giving your Virginity to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, Is the best possible thing to do. And to reduce your urges, well.. just whenever you get the urge just get up and do somthing Like excersize or somthing to take your mind off of it

Answer 8

i was waiting then i found the right guy or who i thought was the right guy all i can say is way to go.. if i could change the choice i made of not waiting then i would it is good to hear that soem other people are doing what i planned on doing

my advice is just find a guy who will accept ur choice and he will respect u. if that doesnt work then just abstain dont go looking for urges. if u know what i mean

Answer 9

Abercrombie,

I've worked with people who said they were waiting. Some of the things that helped them out were:

1) Dress well and modestly. Dressing like you're not planning to wait but claiming that you're planning sends mixed signals to guys. You're less likely to be tempted if you don't have someone else pushing you.

2) Try and find friends that encourage this choice.

3) Learn about and be able to tell people about why you're waiting.

4) Avoid tempting situations! Critically important - don't go out to clubs where there is known to be sex or making out.

5) Remember that purity isn't just about intercourse - it's your whole body!

--good luck!

-j.

Answer 10

i tried to wait till marriage, too. TRIED being the key word, here. in retrospect, i wouldnt have given it to who i did. he just didnt deserve that from me, even though a marriage and 3 children came out of it. my mistakes were: 1. no backup plan 2. so scared of the actual sex part that there was no thought of protection 3. i was duped by the experience..... i didnt even want intercourse, and told him as much, but he went in, anyway. very shortly thereafter, i was pregnant and lost the baby. because of my belief structure, i thought the next best alternative was to marry who i lost my virginity to.... needless to say, BIG mistake. of course as they say, hindsight is 20/20, and had i known then what i know now, i wouldve called it what it was... rape. sorry to ramble....my point is this.... have your own reasons, and stay strong through your convictions. and for gods sake, dont mess it all up like me!