can you tell me some good jokes?

Question

I just wanna hear other peoples jokes since im always the only one tellin them

Answer 1

Question:Have you heard the joke about the bed?|Person:No|Answer: Hasn't been made up yet!!!

Question:Have you heard the one about the three eggs?|Person:No|Answer: Too Bad!!!

Question:Did you hear that noise?|Person:No|Answer:Illinois!!!

My grandpa told me those jokes!!!!

Answer 2

Check out the laugh lab: http://www.laughlab.co.uk/

They compiled a list of way too many jokes, and had people from around the world rate them. They compiled statistics on each joke, and have a list of the funniest joke in each country: http://www.laughlab.co.uk/topByCountry.html

Answer 3

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."