I am married to a wonderful girl, and am quite happy. Recently, my ex g/f (my first "love") came back into the picture because of mutual friends' wedding. To make it harder, my wife has sort of become friends with her. When I broke up with this girl, it took her a long time to get over me (she was telling my friends that she still wanted to be with me, or that she compared every guy to me). Anyway, it's been difficult for me, as I still have some kind of feelings for her. No, they're not romantic or sexual feelings, but I kind of miss her. I'm just afraid that my wife will think that something is going on (it's not). I guess I don't know how to best handle this situation. I miss her, but I also love my wife and don't want to hurt her. :(
2006-07-05 09:47:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
To answer someone's question: Yes, my wife knows that we dated; I've been completely honest with her. In fact, she used to really hate this girl, but after hanging out together at our friends' bachelorette party, they are now friends.
2006-07-05 10:16:20 · update #1
Also, the way I worded my explanation, it sounds like I miss her (sexually). I just miss hanging out with this girl; we were together for about 3 years, and we were pretty close w/ each others' families and such. I miss her as a friend, but it's weird to think of hanging out with both of them.
2006-07-05 10:19:51 · update #2
You've answered your own question. You love your wife and you don't have romantic feelings for your ex. As you said before, your wife is friendly with the ex. If you enjoy your ex-girlfriend's company, just hang out with both at the same time. Just be careful not to do something that will most definitely destroy your marriage. There's a reason that your ex is your ex, and your wife is the women you chose to spend your life with. Do the right thing!
2006-07-05 09:54:54 · answer #1 · answered by dizbuster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You keep saying you love your wife, are you trying to convince yourself? If you love her and she knows the situation then that must mean she trusts you and she loves you also. It takes a real strong woman to be able to handle her husbands first love coming into the picture. She is becoming friends with her but you don't know what intentions your ex has. You shouldn't worry about your feelings, its your wife's feelings that you should worry about. She may genuinely like this girl as a friend and she is probably using her to get to you. Can you miss someone who would do that to the woman you claim to love? Miss her all you want but remember who you go home to. Remember who you gave your life to and said vows with. Remember who will be their for you no matter what. That's what counts, not the past but what you have now.
2006-07-05 09:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from the ex and be happy with your wife. Does your wife know she is your ex. If so, explain to her that, that was a difficult time for you, and you don't want to be around the situation . I'm sure she should understand.
2006-07-05 09:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should try and break the ties between your wife and your ex. WOMAN talk i know this first hand and woman are Jealouse and this will only make your wife most likely feel uncomfortable and worried. i mean switch the roles if your wifes ex came back into her life would you feel comfortable? do what is best for your current relationship :)
2006-07-05 09:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany.P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple advice. talk to your wife and be honest to what you feel. choose words that will let her understand that sometimes you feel like missing a person and that she has to help you forget the memories that's clinging on to you. or maybe bring her to a very nice place for you to be in love again. spend time together and forget the past. you should be grateful for what you have now....
2006-07-05 10:02:05 · answer #5 · answered by cutesy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd stay away from your ex and persude your wife to cut off contact as well. If you have any sort of lingering feelings, they could develop into something bigger, and down the line could cause real problems in your marriage. Stop it before it starts!
2006-07-05 09:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by thirteenthdancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allow yourself to be honest with your feelings and with your spouse and your ex.
Make it perfectly clear to all involved what you are feeling but you need to realize that your wife became your rebound and now it is time to face the truth and unless it is necessary or by accident leave the other alone
2006-07-05 09:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lorraine P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
Does your wife know you used to date this woman?
If so, she must be really secure to become friends & have her around. My advice would be to let your wife know you dated & that you would rather keep it cordial, but not exactly friendly
& that you prefer to keep your relationship with her in the past.
I think it's necessary to keep her away so you won't be tempted. Try not to out yourself in a situation that could get ugly.
2006-07-05 09:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want from this woman? Frienship or more?
If your wife is becoming friends with her, she might be ok with you being friends with her too.
Talk to your wife and tell her how you feel and what you want.
2006-07-05 09:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's life - get over it. Be an adult now as your marriage committment is important.
2006-07-05 09:49:49 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋