I have 35 years old, recently I know my preference,(lesbian) my famly is the tipical latin family, I'm from Mexico.
2006-07-05 09:21:59 · 28 answers · asked by ositahosli 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I had the same thing.. I am froman itailian Family, similarlly close knit. It was really hard for mye... and first it come sdown to are you going to live for yourself or your family. if it is for yourself, then we can more on, if for your family, it all stops here. I know it is important what they think and how they feel, but inorder to enjoy yourlife then you muct tell them no matter what. It is who you are, not a choice. You tell them that you love them, and you always want them to be an important part of your life, and that they are your family, and you respect and love them. It may be hard, but breath. " You are my life, but I trust you and I feel comfortable with you, and I do know how hard this is going to be for you, but I am a lesbian(or you can say gay, sometimes the strict familys allow gay to hit harder and it sinks in) The often yell and scream, but you need to reitterate that you love them and value their opinion, and that you told them because you want them to be part of tht life.. there is so much to it, you just hae to have the ball and decide you are gonna do it. Good Luck, and if you ever want to chat, I am here!
2006-07-05 09:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by kityjane2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please ignore anyone on this site that tries to preach to you on this topic, you probably know very well that you are born gay, that it's not a choice. Be happy to be who you are.
I would tell them that flat out and try to be upbeat about it if you think they will be upset for any reason. Just say there are some people in this world that are straight and some people are just gay and you are happy being a lesbian. Please let them know that this is not something you can change, it's not a choice.
I wish I could give you better advice. It might be hard but just do it and over time, they might be ok with it. PFLAG is a great organization for family members of gay and lesbian individuals to talk to. They are a support group and will help your parents a lot if they are struggling.
2006-07-05 09:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by spike_is_my_evil_vampire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose a time when they are comfortable and relaxed and you have privacy. If you have supportive siblings, have them there too. If you have a lover, think about whether or not they like that person and their relationship with them could be in attendence. Explain very gently that you are a lesbian (at this age, the probably have an idea, and maybe shocked at all) and you are truly happy with your decision to come out and want them to be part of your life and that they have to accept you for who you are. Be prepared if they dont want to accept it to walk away from them and go your own way. At this point in your life, happiness is a priority and your parents should be able to accept you for wanting and knowing what that is.
2006-07-05 09:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by Outside the box 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just be honest to them, and tell them the truth, and also explain to them that you being lesbian shouldn't change they way they feel about you because you are still the same girl they grew up with, also mention that you would really like their support.
2006-07-05 09:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a rough road ahead of you... Be honest and up front... You dont need to explain yourself to anyone but be ready to take the heat for this. I too come from a close minded family and my sister is also gay. She has had a rough time with famiy. She moved away just to be at ease... you may have to do the same.
2006-07-05 09:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by Grin Reeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't tell them that your gay at first. tell them you have a lesbian "friend" and gage their reaction (imply that you are just friends, nothing more) if that doesn't go to bad, drop hints, like talk about your lesbian "friend" (or if you have a friend you can use as an example, go for it) try and de-sensitze them to gay and lesbian and culture, then when you feel safe, tell them. They may not accept you like you want them too, but atleast they should have some understanding, which would make them more welcome to this change rather than just telling them when they don't know as much.
2006-07-05 20:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by ruler of the former free world 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
I have almost the same experience as my family is Italian Roman Catholic. Before I told them I decided that if they were my parents who really love me and cherish me for who I am, then they would accept the fact that I like women as well.
Good Luck !
Leah
2006-07-05 09:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a close relation with your parents it´s easier to tell them.
First, maybe they will be shocked, but tell them gently, make them understand that for you, to love another woman is natural!, and if they love you, they´ll understand your point of view.
WISH YOU THE BEST LUCK, and don´t feel hurt if they don´t see the same point as you do, if so, wait, wait, be patient.
2006-07-05 09:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by Isadora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the important thing to let them realize is that it's not their fault. I find that most parents tend to blame themselves, so you need to remind them that it wasn't your choice, that it didn't have to do with the way they raised you... you were just born that way. Besides, I think they'll tend to be more forgiving since you are 35.
2006-07-05 09:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by psykhaotic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to explain it. Don't try to make them understand.
It would require them to change who they are and it isn't right for you to expect that of them. You can't change who you are and neither can they.
They only need to accept you and respect your choice. They won't be able to do that, if you imply that they are ignorant, intolerant, closed-minded, old-fashioned, stubborn, etc.
2006-07-05 09:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by limendoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋