Are young girls absolutely crazy?!?

Question

How come these 16 yr olds and younger, that haven't even finished HS want to get pregnant? When I was their age, I vowed up and down that I WASN'T going to EVER have kids; and now here I am at 21 w/ an almost 2 yr old and expecting another in January and my life is crazy w/ a husband and one kid. These girls aren't even married. Do you have any idea how much work and dedication this takes? And the money... yes, when you have finances coming in, it doesn't seem like you’re spending that much, but my son went to daycare for 5 MONTHS and only 1/3 of the time was full time and we still spent $5,000 JUST ON DAYCARE! Not only is there the expense of diapers, but housing, insurance, food, transportation, etc.

Please! Reconsider having kids so young! Work/volunteer @ a daycare if you are dying to be around little ones that much! It's fun for awhile until you have to be responsible for everything. Get married. Have a life. Have kids. Be safe.

Mother of one & expecting

I absolutely love my family and wouldn't want my life anyother way, but family life is a crazy life! :)

I am refering to postings in Yahoo! Answers about:

I'm 16 & my bf is 19 and I want to have a kid w/ him...

or

I'm 16 and really want to get pregnant

Answer 1

That last paragraph is very good advice.

While marriage doesn't necessarily appeal to everyone's morals (keep in mind that in many religions and cultures it is not necessary and simply not done) and is often inadvisable in an obviously mismatched relationship, it is good to have the father involved in his child's life. The likelihood of that happening in a teenage pregnancy is slim at best.

Volunteering at a daycare is fantastic advice! I worked at a daycare when I was seventeen and eighteen years old, and it gave me great preparation for the day, six years later when I would become pregnant with my first child (due in a few weeks). Until you are elbow deep in baby poopie and realize how much those little lives depend on you, you have no business procreating.

Also, if you don't intend to be a parent you should not have sex. Period. However, I know it's difficult and kids slip up, so at least try to be informed about your sexual practices. Use birth control, be informed about what can get you pregnant, and do all the reading you can on the subject to make sure you're preventing pregnancy and disease properly. An informed sexually active teen is usually an unpregnant one.

Ahem... sorry, I got off on a tangent. In response to the question of why teens get pregnant, I would have to say that the vast majority don't do it on purpose. Most teen pregnancies are unplanned, and at least initially unwanted. It's a scary ordeal for these kids. And a preventable one if they would take the time to educate themselves on sex and its consequences.

I have only known two girls in my life who wanted to get pregnant as teens. I think for some the maternal instinct starts very strongly in a very early period. It is unfortunate at first, but both of these girls turned out to be great mothers. They didn't finish high school, but they did work and support themselves, later finding husbands that they love dearly. They are the epitome of the stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, these girls are the exception in teenage pregnancies rather than the rule.

In short, I don't really have a good answer for you. The best we can do is try to keep our youths informed as best we can... and be there to help them up when they fall.


Edited to add: I think a lot of the girls who actually want to get pregnant have idealized the idea of motherhood. They see it as all cuddly babies and quiet mornings together. What they overlook are the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the inconsolable crying, the hard and grueling work, the physical and mental exhaustion, and often the heartache that is associated with having a little one of your own.

Answer 2

Times have changed so much. I'm only 25 and now expecting my first child with my husband. Back when I was in HS if a girl was 16 and pregnant there was a very negative stigma attached to that. She was looked down upon and outcasted-Not by me personally but that's just the general attitude at the time. Unfortunately, welfare and other such programs have made becoming a single teen mother much more appealing. I agree 100% they should wait until they are older and married to have a child. So often, someone else ends up taking care of the child for the child-it truly is sad!

Answer 3

They're either crazy or just plain stupid. I had my oldest child when I was 18 and then my youngest at 19(I only have 2). Neither were planned and I was on birth control. My fiance(their father) and I had planned on waiting 5 years to have kids but low and behold I got pregnant. I love my kids more than anything and don't regret them at all. There is NO way I would've "tried" to get pregnant. We're raising our kids without any type of welfare and it's hard. I couldn't imagine having a baby and not being able to provide for it. It does get hard at times when I get to the point where I have to choose not to pay my phone bill or my kids going without diapers and snacks(not too hard of a decision though). Trust me from experience, having kids is NOT easy. It's really sad because I have a cousin that was 16 when he got his girlfriend pregnant, she was 15. I have another cousin that just 14 and is pregnant. All of them were trying to get pregnant. What gets me is that both my cousins see how me and my fiance struggle right now. I've been off work the past few months and that's the reason we're struggling right now. I go back in a few weeks and it will be easier. All these girls think of is how cute babies are. They don't think of nights that they have to be up all night with a sick baby. They don't think about getting puked and pooped on. Like I said I love my kids more than anything and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but it is a struggle.

Answer 4

YOU SAID IT!!! I thought I was prepared, having watched my oldest niece a whole lot when she was little, but I just had no idea how much work it was or really how expensive it is. I stay at home so we're on one income and we rarely ever go out by ourselves (maybe 4 times a year.) I just have no idea how single mothers do it. I had a hard enough time with a husband. This isn't like a doll or your little brother or sister. It's YOUR baby and your have to take care of it every single moment of the day. It's hard even if you don't do such a great job let alone trying to be the best mother you can be. BTW, I'm a mother of one and Im 44, so it's hard no matter when you do it, but it's a lot harder alone.

Answer 5

A lot of young girls accidently get pregnant- and then they are stuck with a child. I knew a girl that this happened to, and she told me it was very difficult to manage things. She graduated highschool with my class and she wouldn't take back the birth of her son. I do know what you are talking about when you say young girls WANT to have kids. I am 18 years old and getting married in like 3 weeks, and I do not want to have a child until about 3 years into the marriage. I love children but I've seen what having a child can do to newlyweds. I wish that you could tell the girls to wait and to not have kids, but they wont listen to anyone. Instead they will end up living off the government in a crappy trailer. It's sad, but true.

Answer 6

I TOTALLY AGREE... I didnt have sex til I was 18...now at 30 I am married with 2 girls and another on the way...and yes...the hubby does act like a 2 year old also...when I was in school...sex didnt cross my mind...i was to busy with other projects...working. grades. getting out of my parents house...etc/..

now....I have bills coming out of my ears and i just cant wrok enough to get them paid off....

these girls ought to go live with a 16 year old with a kid and then they will see first hand what its like waking up at all hours of the night or not being able to go anywhere without having to find a sitter...or taking the little guy with cha...bet it would change their minds doing that for 1 day!!

Answer 7

I totally agree , I have a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old, I am 23. It is hard work, well worth it, but hard even in a two parent household.

Answer 8

I agree absolutely, 2 girls in my class got pregnant , one had a misscarrige & the other had a baby girl, but girls have been havenin sex since they wre like 12 & they thinks its ormal & if you get preg then u can get rid of it, or they are nieve n think they wont get pregnant. Its sad. Ive nver had a b/f & dont planon it, im 16. Other girls think im werid cus i dont have sex but i think they are messed up, its so stupid, i will not have ex til marriage & they criticize me over saying that. IF I dont get married then i will adopt. cus i want kids but no way, only after marriage

Answer 9

Maybe we should invite em over to "help" out for the day!! YEah right up at 630 to bed at 11 OK..Diapers that could make a grown man cry..Bottles meals messes dishes laundry...I have a 9mo old and a 20mo old...I just don;t think they could do it in one day!!! BIRTH CONTROL LOL to all you mommys out there...you know what I mean,,,,,,

Answer 10

i agree I'm a mother of two and waiting on 3 and i'm 24. it gets tough. and sometimes hubbie acts like a baby, It's not something to play around with. It doesn't go away after it happens.